Eenie, Meenie,

Mommy, Daddy

Written by Joanna Lee

Cindy gets the lead in the school play as a fairy princess. However, her enthusiasm wears out when she can only invite one parent. This forces her to make a big decision, because she wants all the kids to meet her new dad, but wouldn’t be able to if he wasn’t with her mom. Hope you enjoy the script.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

MIKE BRADY

CAROL BRADY

GREG BRADY

MARCIA BRADY

PETER BRADY

JAN BRADY

BOBBY BRADY

CINDY BRADY

MRS. ENGSTROM

MISS MARLOWE

CLASSMATE WHO PLAYS ELF IN PLAY

(The scene opens with Carol straightening up the living room. Cindy runs inside in an excited mood.)

Cindy: I got it, I got it! Mary Dittmeyer thought she’d get it, but she didn’t. I got it!

Carol: Cindy, be careful.

(Cindy and Carol hug.)

Cindy: I got it, I got it!

Alice (coming from the kitchen); What did she get?

Carol: Something Mary Dittmeyer didn’t get.

Alice: I hope it isn’t mumps or chicken pox.

Carol: Cindy, what did you get?

Cindy: Oh, Mommy, I got the fairy princess!

Carol: You got it! The school play. You got the lead! Oh, Cindy, I’m so pleased.

(She gives Cindy another hug.)

Alice: I’m pleased too, as long as it isn’t mumps or chicken pox, I can finish making dinner.

Carol: Oh Cindy, you’ll be a marvelous fairy princess.

(Mike walks in.)

Mike: Hi there, how are my girls?

Carol: Oh, it’s Daddy.

(Carol and Cindy come to greet him and he picks Cindy up.)

Cindy: You know what? You know what?

Mike: What?

Cindy: I’m the fairy princess and I get to fly and marry a prince and everything.

Mike: Terrific, that’s great, pumpkin.

Cindy: And I’m going to get the most applause because I got the most family.

Mike: Oh, you sure do.

(They all join in a group hug and the scene fades out.)

(Marcia leads the rest of the family into the girls room, where Cindy fell asleep while studying her lines.)

Marcia; She fell asleep like that.

Carol: Oh, she’s been studying her script.

Mike: Ah, she’s really excited about that play.

Carol: Yeah, Mike, you wanna carry her over?

(Mike picks up to carry her to her bed and she wakes up.)

Cindy: Oh, my prince Victor. Oh, dear prince Victor.

Bobby: Boy, Cindy is sure hung up on that old prince Victor.

(The rest of the family shushes him.)

(In the next scene, Mike and Carol are in the family room when Cindy walks in and appears to be crying.)

Carol: Cindy?

Cindy: Poor Victor.

Carol: What?

Cindy: Oh, poor prince Victor. I shall never see him again.

Mike: Honey, what’s going on?

Cindy: Please Daddy, don’t interrupt my hearsal.

Mike: Hearsal?

Cindy: That’s actor talk.

Carol: Darling, That’s rehearsal. Would you like me to read with you?

Cindy: Okay. You be the fairy queen.

Carol: Okay. (reading from the script): The wicked witch is afraid of daylight. If you crow like a rooster, she will think the sun is coming up.

Cindy: Like this fairy queen, cock-a-doodle-doo.

Carol: No, Cindy. Crow like a real rooster.

(She pretends to crow like a roosters while Cindy does the same thing.)

Mike: Hey, that’s great. If you crow any better you’ll lay an egg.

Cindy: Oh, Daddy. Roosters crow, hens lay eggs.

Mike: Oh, I forgot.

Carol: Ooh, this is a good part. I remember this when I was in school.

Mike: Hey, listen, why can’t I be in this?

Cindy: There’s no good part for you, Daddy. (Mike turns away unappeased) The wicked witch has cast a spell on Prince Victor.

Carol: Spells can be broken.

Mike (looking at his paper): I was very good in dramatics too.

Cindy: Can you teach me to break a spell, Fairy Queen?

Mike (looking up a little): Perhaps I forgot to mention I was in the college drama club.

Carol: Cindy, for heaven’s sake, give the man a part.

Cindy: But there isn’t anything for Daddy to do.

Mike: Well, how about Prince Victor, can’t I play Prince Victor?

Cindy: You really wanna be Prince Victor?

Mike: Sure!

Cindy: Okay, you come over here.

Carol: This I got to see.

Mike: Okay. (He gets up from his chair) Now, what do I do?

Cindy: You get down on your hands and knees.

)Mike takes a kneel.)

Mike: Okay, now what do I say?

Cindy: Nothing, you just keep croaking.

Mike: Croaking?

Cindy: Prince Victor’s a bullfrog.

(Mike starts to laugh and then scratches his head.)

Carol: You wanted to be in show business.

Cindy: You see, the wicked witch has cast a spell on you. That’s why you’re a bullfrog.

Mike: Okay, okay.

Cindy: You got to croak now.

Mike: I don’t think I know how to croak.

Carol: Oh, do the best you can.

Mike: Oh, well, let’s see

(He starts croaking.)

Cindy: That’s good.

Carol: Are you sure that’s Prince Victor?

Cindy: Yes. we must find a way to undo the spell. Croak again, Daddy.

(Mike continues to croak and chases a laughing Carol out of the room.)

Carol: Mike, Mike what are you doing?

Mike: What us frogs do best.

(He keeps croaking while Carol runs out.  In the next scene, Cindy is going over her lines in her room with Jan helping her.)

Cindy: Dear cousin, do not eat that apple, the wicked witch has (Pause) what’s this word?

Jan: Poisoned.

Cindy: Poisoned, the wicked witch has poisoned it.

Jan: You’re just saying the words, Cindy.

Cindy: Well, I have to, don’t I?

Jan: You have to live your part, that’s what Stanley Slofsky says.

Marcia: Who?

Jan: Stanley Slofsky.

Marcia: That’s Stanislavsky, dumbbell. I saw it in the encyclopedia.

Jan: Anyway, he was the greatest drama teacher there ever was. He said to be a great artist, you must suffer.

Cindy: How do you suffer?

Jan: I’ll show you. Keep reading.

Cindy: Ok, fairy cousin, that apple was meant for me. You ate it to save my life. (Jan pretends she’s dying) Cousin, dear cousin, are you dying?

(Jan continues pretending to die and Cindy looks up from her script.)

Cindy: Jan, are you ok?

Jan: I’m suffering.

Cindy: Okay.

(Jan pretends to suffer more and falls to the floor. Marcia and Cindy clap and the boys clap from outside the door. Jan takes a bow.)

Cindy: Hey, if I’m the star, how come she’s getting all the applause?

(In the next scene, the boys are in the backyard and Bobby is letting his frog, Herman, out of a box.)

Bobby: Okay, Herman, you can stretch your legs now. Go take a walk, go on.

(Greg and Peter come out with baseball equipment.)

Bobby: Can I play?

Greg: Sure, be the batter. Come on.

(bobby picks up the bat and Peter pitches.)

Greg: Put it in there, strike one.

(Bobby takes a strike as Cindy walks outside practicing her lines.)

Cindy: Never mind, the fairy queen will save you. She can do anything, let me call her. I will fly to get her for you. (Cindy gets up on one of the boxes) It’s easy for fairies to fly. You just think lovely thoughts and flap your wings and fly.

(She jumps off the box and Bobby runs over to save his frog.)

Bobby: Cindy!

Cindy: I’m okay.

Bobby: Yeah, but you almost squooshed Herman.

Cindy: I’m sorry, I was hearsing my part.

Bobby: You were hearsing your part?

Cindy: I’m the fairy princess. I have to fly.

Peter: Boy, that’s neat. You get to be hung on wires and stuff.

Greg: You’re not gonna be scared, are you?

Cindy: Course not. (She starts to look worried) How do they hang me up?

Peter: You want us to show you?

Cindy: We don’t have any wires.

Peter: We can use the clothesline.

Greg; That’s a good idea.

Peter: We’ll show you how.

Greg: Come on, Bobby. You bring those boxes. Peter, you give me your belt. Boy, this is going to be fun.

Peter: Won’t be scared, sure. Are you?

Greg: Cindy, come here.

(The guys set up the clothesline and tie Cindy to it.)

Greg: All set down there, Bobby

Bobby: Just about.

Peter: Hurry up, you guys, it’s getting heavy under here.

Greg: There, how does that feel, Cindy?

Cindy: Fine.

Greg: You’ll be perfectly safe. These are real strong belts. Come on, you guys, let’s get rid of these boxes. (The guys remove the boxes and stand back) There.

Peter: And now, fairy princess, we sill show you the wonders of space light.

Cindy: I’m not flying, I’m just hanging there.

(Greg and Peter go on both sides of the clothesline and start moving her back and forth.)

Peter: Pilot to co-pilot, ready for takeoff.

Greg: There, now you’re flying.

Cindy: Hey, make me go the other way.

Greg: Okay, having fun?

Cindy: Yeah

(The scene cuts over to Cindy’s school, where her teacher, Mrs. Engstrom, is setting the stage and talking to her friend, Miss Marlowe.)

Ms. Marlowe: What a cast. 60 kids giving a band concert followed by the fairy princess with 26 speaking parts.

Mrs. Engstrom: I know. how can we fit the families of 86 children in the auditorium?

Ms. Marlowe: We can’t even seat all the parents. What’ll we do?

Mrs. Engstrom: Settle it democratically, I guess. We’ll have to limit each cast member to only one ticket. Each child can decide for himself which member of his family to ask.

(Back at the houses, Alice is answering the phone.)

Alice: No, I’m sorry Mrs. Engstrom, Mrs. Brady is out. Can I take a message? (Pause) Yeah, I see.

Mrs. Engstrom: Well, I thought I’d better phone and explain the situation about the seating.

Alice: I understand, just one ticket.

Mrs. Engstrom: The children can bring the other parent to the next production.

(Meanwhile, The guys are outside playing with Cindy on the clothesline.)

Cindy: Go faster, Greg.

Greg: Okay.

(Bobby comes running up to them.)

Bobby: Hey, Charlie wants to know where you guys are.

Greg: Oh my gosh, we almost forgot about the game.

(Greg and Peter start running.)

Bobby: Hey, wait for me.

Cindy: Someone, let me down!

(The guys run off while Alice starts to come outside.)

Cindy: Alice, Alice, let me down!

(Alice comes out and sees Cindy.)

Cindy: Let me down.

Alice: Cindy, for Pete’s sake, what are you doing up there?

Cindy: Hanging.

Alice: I can see that.

Cindy: I was flying, and they all took off and forgot me.

Alice: Well, I’ll get you down, honey.

(Greg and Peter come running back.)

Greg: Ah gee, we’re sorry, Cindy, we almost forgot about you.

Cindy: That’s okay.

Peter: Besides, our pants were falling down.

Alice: Well, come on fellas, help me get her down. (The guys go to help Alice) Here, I’ll get this back one first. All right, that’s one. Let’s get this one. (They untie her and Alice grabs on to her) Okay, fellas, let her down.

(Greg and Peter grab on to Cindy and let her down.)

Greg: You okay, Cindy?

Cindy: Fine.

Greg (to Peter): Let’s go.

Cindy (to Alice): Boy, that was fun. Wait till you see me in the fairy princess.

Alice: Oh, well. Let’s go inside, sweetheart. I think we Oughtta have a little talk.

(Alice and Cindy go inside to the kitchen.)

Cindy: You mean I can only ask one person tom see me in the play?

Alice: I’m afraid so, honey.

Cindy: Which one, Mommy or Daddy?

Alice: Well, that’s up to you.

Cindy: But I want them both!

Alice: According to Mrs. Engstrom, you can’t have them both. Not this time, honey.

Cindy: But whenever there’s things at school, my mommy always comes.

Alice: Then ask her.

Cindy: But I want all the kids to see my new daddy.

Alice: Then ask him.

Cindy: But they won’t know he’s my new daddy if he’s not with my mommy.

Alice: There’s no sense you worrying yourself about this, sweetheart. What do you say we leave it up to luck.

Cindy: How?

(Cindy and Alice are in the girls’ room. Alice puts two slips of paper on the map with Mom and Dad on them.)

Alice: Okay, there. One for Mom and one for Dad. Now you get the pin the tail on the donkey game. Got a blindfold here, here we go honey. Now let’s get this so you cannot see a thing. Can you see anything, honey.

Cindy: No.

Alice: All right, round you go. (She spins Cindy around a few times) And go.

(Cindy pins the tail on the map but, unfortunately, it lands on Brazil.)

Alice: Look who gets to go.

Cindy: Brazil.

Alice: Let me get another tail.

(Cindy walks out of the room and the scene fades out)

(The next scene is in the boys’ room with Peter putting sparkles on a wand Cindy will use for the play.)

Bobby: Hey, that’s neat-o

Greg: I wonder if this wand is too long for Cindy.

Peter: Let’s see. (He tries waving it) I don’t know. You try it, Bobby.

(Bobby gets up from his chair and waves it.)

Bobby: Hey, this isn’t a real magic wand, is it?

Greg (teasing): Sure it is, try some magic.

Bobby: Aw, you’re putting me on.

Peter: Go ahead, try it. You got nothing to lose.

Bobby: Well, okay. (waving the wand) Robert Brady, you are now an astronaut on the moon. Oh, I knew it wouldn’t work.

Greg: Magic wands are only in fairy tales. Like the play Cindy’s in.

(Marcia comes in the room.)

Marcia: Will you guys do something for us?

Greg: Oh, sure. What’s up.

Marcia: Jan and I both made a pair of wings for Cindy, and we want to find out which one is best.

Greg: Okay, bring them in.

(Marcia exits.)

Peter: Let’s add some more sparkles. We really want Cindy’s sparkles to shine.

Bobby: Like the floor?

Greg (angry): I thought we told you to put newspapers down.

Bobby: You never said what for.

Peter: For extra sparkles stupid.

Bobby: Boy, I get blamed for everything, even extra sparkles.

(Jan and Cindy come in with wings.)

Jan: Okay? Which one is better?

Marcia: Which one? She made hers for a 47 foot fairy.

Jan: They’re not that big. (They turn around and show Bobby) Well, what do you think?

Bobby: Well, they’re too big for a butterfly.

Jan: Cindy is not playing a butterfly, she’s playing a fairy princess with wings and I think these are perfect.

Marcia: And I think they’re too big.

Greg: How do you know?

Marcia: How do I know what?

Greg: How big a fairy’s wings are, have you ever seen a fairy.

Bobby: I’ve seen a butterfly.

Marcia: Look, I carefully cut out these wings according to the directions

Peter (to Jan): Then how come yours are bigger?

Jan: Because I made my own directions. I want everybody in the audience to notice Cindy.

(Cindy starts waking by and overhears the conversation,)

Greg: They’ll notice her anyway, little Cindy looks like a fairy princess even without wings.

Marcia: I can’t wait to see her in the play.

Peter: Neither can I.

Jan: I bet Mon and dad will be real proud of her.

Peter: I learned how to whistle through my teeth, boy am I gonna cheer for Cindy.

Bobby: And I bet I can clap louder than anybody.

Marcia: I bet she’ll have the best audience of all.

(Cindy starts to sigh at what was said.  Carol is in the kitchen preparing the costume for Cindy’s play.)

Carol: Cindy, Cindy?

Cindy (walking in the kitchen): Yes, Mommy?

Carol: Would you stand over here, dear? (She puts one of the costumes over Cindy) There.

Cindy: What you doing?

Carol: Oh, I’m trying to decide which color costume to use.

Cindy: Mommy, when you have to decide between two things, how do you know which is right?

Carol: Well, you don’t always. Sometimes you have to use your intuition.

Cindy: What’s that?

Carol: The little voice inside you that tells you what to do.

Cindy: Well, who tells the little voice?

Carol: The big voice, I guess.

Cindy: Suppose it tells you to do two different things at the same time.

Carol: Well then, my love, you got a problem.

Cindy: Mommy.

Carol: Hmmm.

Cindy: I was thinking. Maybe the play isn’t going to be so good, and you don’t even have to come if you don’t want you.

Carol (surprised): Don’t want to? Oh darling, wild horses couldn’t keep me away.

(Cindy looks at Carol in bewilderment, then she goes to talk to Mike in his den.)

Mike: Hi, pumpkin. How are rehearsals coming?

Cindy: Okay, it’s just a dumb old play, anyway.

Mike: Dumb old play? You can’t talk that way to prince Victor (he starts croaking at her.)

Cindy: It is a dumb old play!

Mike (taking Cindy and putting her on his lap): Honey, what’s the matter? Yesterday you were jumping around here, are the boys giving you a rough time? Because tell me if they are, I wanna know.

Cindy: It’s not that, I don’t think the play is a big deal anymore and you don’t even have to come if you don’t want to.

Mike: Don’t want to? Oh sweetheart, I wouldn’t miss that for anything in the world. (He hugs her) Now, you run a long and play, and I’ll see you later.

(Cindy leaves the den and goes upstairs to her room, where she sees Marcia.)

Marcia: Oh, hi Cindy.

Cindy: What were you doing?

Marcia: Oh, nothing. I was just trying to see how I look with Faye Dunaway’s nose. What’s up?

Cindy: You promise you won’t tell?

Marcia: Sure.

Cindy: Well I can only invite one person to see me in the play.

Marcia: Only one ticket?

Cindy: That’s all, and I don’t know who to give it to.

Marcia: Then what’s the problem? You’ll have to ask Daddy or you’ll hurt his feelings, Mom will understand.

Cindy: But what about Mommy’s feelings? She doesn’t even care about wild horses.

Marcia: Cindy, you just don’t understand about adjustments?

Cindy: Justments?

Marcia: Sit down. (Cindy takes a seat) We’re all going through adjustments. You see, Mom and Dad and all the kids. (She takes a seat and sits down) You have to try hard to know how the other guy feels.

Cindy: I know how the other guy feels, she wants to come to the play too.

Marcia: Listen Cindy, you have to invite our new Daddy or you’ll mess up his adjustments.

Cindy: Are you sure?

Marcia: If you don’t believe me, ask Greg.

(Cindy goes into the boys’ room to see Greg, who is flexing his muscles.)

Cindy: Hi.

Greg: Cindy, don’t you know how to knock?

Cindy: Yes, but the door wasn’t closed.

Greg: Well, you shouldn’t sneak up on people.

Cindy: I wasn’t sneaking, you just didn’t see me because you were looking at your muscle. Is it getting bigger?

Greg: Never mind that. What did you want?

Cindy: Well, I can only invite one person to see me in the play, and Marcia said I should ask Daddy or I’ll mess up his justment, is that right?

Greg: No.

Cindy: No?

Greg: Don’t you know ladies cry and get uptight over junk like seeing their kids in plays? You better ask Mom, because if you hurt her feelings and make her cry, Dad will get mad.

(Cindy leaves the room and Greg closes the door behind her.)

(In the next scene, Mike walks into the kitchen and sees Carol)

Mike: Honey, did you notice anything strange about Cindy today?

Carol: Well, she’s a little nervous about the play.

Mike: Yeah, I guess that’s it. She ran the strangest dialogue past me a few minutes ago.

Carol: She did the same thing to me, too.

Alice: Anyone offering a trip to Europe for the right answer?

Mike: Huh. (Pause) Parents are always the last to know.

Alice: I feel like a fink, I promised her I wouldn’t tell because she wants to make up her own mind.

Carol: About what?

Alice: Mrs. Engstrom called form school. She said that each kid could only invite one parent to the play.

Carol: Aww, poor baby.

Alice: I promised her but I thought you oughtta know.

Mike: Poor baby.

(Cindy is outside in the next scene picking petals off a daisy.)

Cindy: Eenie, Meenie, Mommy, Daddy, Eenie, Meenie, Mommy, Daddy, Eenie. (She tosses the petaless daisy down) I wish I was never in that dumb old play.

(The next scene is at the school. where Mrs. Engstrom and the kids are on the stage.)

Mrs. Engstrom: All right now, children, let’s get ready for rehearsal. You stand over here, dear. That’s fine. and you over there, n0, no, not behind his head. now you, right over here.

(Cindy comes up to the stage faking a limp.)

Cindy: Mrs. Engstrom?

Mrs. Engstrom: Cindy, why are you limping?

Cindy: I was playing tag with my brothers and I twisted my left ankle. So I guess I can’t be the fairy princess.

Mrs. Engstrom: Oh, the play isn’t for two days. Your ankle should be better by then.

Cindy: No, I think it will get worse. I’m sorry, Mrs. Engstrom. Mary Dittmeyer can do it, and she won’t mess up any justments.

(Cindy starts walking away but pretends to limp on her right ankle.)

Mrs. Engstrom: Cindy, I thought yo said you twisted your left ankle.

Cindy: I did.

Mrs. Engstrom: Then why are you limping on your other ankle?

Cindy: I think they both hurt now.

(Cindy looks away while Mrs. Engstrom looks on with concern. The next scene has Carol and Mike in the living room.)

Mike: Honey.

Carol: Hmmm?

Mike; Cindy hardly touched her dinner tonight.

Carol: I know.

Mike: you think we oughtta let her stew about this any longer?

Carol: I don’t know. It’s such a big problem for a little girl. Maybe we should… (phone rings) I’ll get it. (She goes to the phone and answers) Hello. Oh, hi, Mrs. Engstrom. She what? Oh, I see. No. you were right, she didn’t. We’ll get back to you, thanks for calling. (She hangs up) Mike, Cindy told Mrs. Engstrom she twisted her ankle, she dropped out of the play.

Mike: Well, no wonder she couldn’t eat and went right to her room.

Carol: Oh, Mike, she was so thrilled about doing that play.

Mike: Relax honey, I’m gonna straighten things out right now.

(Mike gets up from his chair and goes upstairs to see Cindy.)

Cindy (talking to her doll): it’s just a dumb old play, anyway. Nobody can turn a prince into a bullfrog.

(Mike enters the room.)

Mike: Hi, sweetheart.

Cindy: Oh, hi Daddy.

Mike: Pumpkin, tell me something. Would you be very upset if I didn’t come to see your play?

Cindy: Oh, why, Daddy?

Mike: Suppose that I had a business meeting that night out of town.

Cindy: Out of town?

Mike: Would it be all right with you if I went to that instead of your play?

Cindy (excited): Oh, that’s sure too bad, that’s awful, Daddy.

(She starts to run.)

Mike: Where you going?

Cindy: I have to call Mrs. Engstrom. I have to talk to her before she talks to Mary Dittmeyer!

(Cindy runs out of the room while Mike sits there and smiles, then it turns to a frown when it dawns on him that he’ll miss her play. Then he gets up to follow her.)

(The next scene is in the school auditorium. A little boy playing an elf comes on scene.)

Elf: Fairy Princess? Have you seen the fairy princess, Mr. Tree? (The boy playing the tree shakes his head no) Have you seen the fairy princess, Mr. Rock? (the boy who plays the rock also shakes his head no) Have you seen the fairy princess, Mr. Bird? (The boy playing the bird does likewise) Oh, I hope the wicked witch hasn’t cast an evil spell on the… (Miss Marlowe whispered fairy princess) fairy princess. Fairy Princess, where are you?

(Miss Engstrom sends Cindy out to greet him.)

Cindy: Here I am, Mr. Elf.

(We hear applause form the audience, which turns out just to be the whole Brady family and Alice.)

Miss Marlowe: I’m so glad Cindy’s father explained her very special problem.

Mrs. Engstrom: So am I. I guess children don’t understand that it’s possible to bend the rules a bit. (Cindy bows at the applause) It was very nice for the kids to give this special performance.

(Cindy waves at the whole family while the scene fades out.)

(The epilogue has Cindy getting into bed with Carol and Mike tucking her in.)

Carol: It’s been an exciting day, Cindy. I’m glad you’re going to bed early.

Mike: We thought you were a very good fairy princess.

Cindy: Maybe I can get a part in the next play.

Carol: I hope so, sweetheart.

(She kisses Cindy good night.)

Mike: Good night, honey.

(He kisses her good night also.)

Cindy (waking up): Oh, no!

Mike: What is it, sweetie.

Cindy: If I get a part in the next play, maybe I’ll only get one ticket again. should I ask my mommy or my daddy, or what?

Carol: Good night, Cindy.

Mike: Good night, sweetie.

(Mike and Carol leave the room and the scene fades out.)

                     THE END