S1 E5 Katchoo

                                    Katchoo

                                 Written by William Cowley

Jan is seemingly allergic to something. The family narrows it down to Tiger, which means they must get of the beloved hound. But is that really what causes Jan’s allergies? Let’s see. Hope you enjoy the script.

CAST OF CHARACTERS
MIKE BRADY
CAROL BRADY
ALICE NELSON
GREG BRADY
MARCIA BRADY
PETER BRADY
JAN BRADY
BOBBY BRADY
CINDY BRADY

(The episode starts with the kids leaving for school and Mike leaving for work. Alice hands them their lunch and Carol kisses them good-bye. Mike walks out right after them and Alice hands him a lunch bag)

Alice: Oh, excuse me, Mr. Brady, I thought you were one of the kids.

Mike: Well, it’s probably better than the blue plate special I get downtown.

(He and Carol kiss and he leaves.)

Carol: Bye, dear.

Mike: Bye honey, bye, Alice.

Alice: Bye, Mr. Brady. (He leaves) Hey, one of the kids forgot his lunch.

Carol: No, I saw each one with his lunch bag.

Alice: Then whose is this?

Carol: Well, let’s see. Bobby left, then Cindy.

Alice: Then Marcia.

Carol: Greg.

Alice: Peter.

Alice and Carol (calling to upstairs): Jan!

Carol: Hurry up, you’ll be late for school.

Jan (coming down the stairs): I’m coming.

(She lets out a big sneeze.)

Alice: What have you been doing?

Jan: Getting some tissues. I’m all stuffed up.

Carol: Oh, boy. The flu season’s here again.

(Jan sneezes again.)

Alice: Gesundheit.

Jan: Let me feel your forehead.

Alice: Stick out your tongue and say ah.

Carol: When did this start? (Jan starts to answer) Never mind dear, you’re staying home form school today, now come on, up to bed.

(Carol and Jan head upstairs to Jan’s room.)

Alice: Oh, I wonder, Mrs. Brady.

Carol: You wonder what she’s got?

Alice: I wonder how soon the rest of them are gonna come down with it.

(Jan goes up the stairs continuing to sneeze while Carol follows her, and the scene fades out..)

(The next scene has Jan and carol in her room. Jan is in bed playing checkers with Carol.)

Carol: Oh no you don’t young lady, I wouldn’t fall for that.

Jan: How about this?

Carol: Never.

Jan: This?

Carol: Nope.

(Carol makes her move but Jan jumps her and wins.)

Jan: Never?

Carol: You little rascal, you’re too good for me.

Jan: Let’s play one more.

Carol (spilling the checkers form the board): Not right now. Your daddy’s coming home for lunch to see how you feel.

Jan: Maybe Daddy will play with me.

Carol; I’m sure he will. How are you feeling?

Jan: Fine. I haven’t sneezed once since I got in bed.

Carol; Let me see your throat.

Jan: Mother, you looked at my throat 6,000 times.

Carol: Well, this will be 6,001. Now stick out your tongue. (Jan sticks her tongue out) I don’t understand it, your throat looks fine. Does it hurt?

Jan: No.

Carol: Do you hurt anyplace?

Jan: My tongue hurts, I stuck it out so much I think I sprained it.

Carol: Well, I’ve never seen the flu act like this before. You seem perfectly well.

Jan: Can I get up now?

Carol: Oh no, you don’t. Stay right where you are and keep the covers on. (She hands Jan a book) Here, you can read a while.

(Mike is at his office and he receives a call from Carol.)

Mike (picking up the phone): Hello. Hi honey.

Carol: I just called to tell you not to worry about Jan, she’s feeling much better.

Mike: You mean she stopped all that sneezing?

Carol: Yeah, she seems to feel fine now.

Mike: Oh, wonderful. Well, I was gonna come home for lunch but…

Carol: Oh, come anyway. Your favorite dish is waiting for you.

Mike: What’s that?

Carol: Me. (She and Mike laugh) No, I really do have one of your favorite dishes though. It’s tuna salad with chopped eggs and pickled relish.

Mike: Well, that settles it. With my little girl, my wife and my tuna salad all waiting for me, I’m coming home.

Carol: Good. I’ll see you in  a little while. Bye.

(Mike hangs up the phone while Carol finishes mixing Mike’s lunch.)

Carol (putting the tuna away): Alice, the tuna salad will be in the refrigerator.

(Alice cuts a piece of chocolate cake.)

Alice: Mr. Brady can have this piece of cake for dessert.

Carol (checking it out): Mmm, that looks delicious.

Alice: Yeah. Sure glad Jan’s feeling better.

Carol: Yeah, you know that’s the strangest cold. Not a sign of it now.

Alice: What about all that sneezing?

Carol: She hasn’t sneezed a single sneeze.

Alice: Hmm, this morning I was up to here in gesundheits.

Carol: All her symptoms have disappeared.

Alice: What could have made her do all that sneezing?

Carol: Wait a minute! An allergy! Maybe she’s allergic to something.

Alice: That’s right, an allergy can make you sneeze and wheeze.

Carol: Pollen dust. Maybe some kind of food. When did she start sneezing so hard?

Alice: This morning at breakfast, hey I used flour to make the pancakes, and yesterday when I made that cake she was sneezing then. As a matter of fact, a couple of days ago, we were making cookies, remember?

Carol: That’s right.

Alice: Flour! I’m glad we found that out now before she grew up and married a baker.

Carol: Maybe it’s the roses or geraniums or something in the backyard. This is pollen season.

Alice:  It’s the flour, Mrs. Brady. Let’s take some up to test her.

Carol: Alice, you don’t mind if I check with the doctor, do you?

Alice: Oh no, ma’am. He’s entitled to his opinion too.

(Carol goes out to the backyard. Then she and Alice are up in Jan’s room, giving her roses and assorted flowers and flour to test her allergies in the next scene)

Carol: Nothing?

Jan: No, none of these things make me sneeze.

Alice: It’s the flour Mrs. Brady, I’m positive.

Carol: Okay, Alice, we’ll try the flour. Get ready with your gesundheit.

Alice: Just a little sniff, Jan. No use punishing yourself.

(Jan takes a sniff but gets no reaction.)

Carol: Nothing?

Jan: No.

Alice: Take a bigger sniff.

Jan: Just smells like flour.

Carol: It doesn’t bother you?

Jan: No, not at all.

Alice: I don’t understand that. (She takes a sniff and almost lets out a big sneeze. Carol and Jan laugh) Wow, don’t laugh. This stuff is dynamite.

Jan: It doesn’t bother me. Can I get up now, Mother?

Carol: No honey, you better stay put. The doctor’s pretty sure you’ve got some kind of allergy. He wants me to keep checking different things around the house.

Jan: Do I have to stay in bed?

Carol; No, you can go to the doctor’s and get a shot if you’d rather.

Jan: I’ll stay in bed.

(The next scene has Carol and Alice downstairs in the kitchen discuss further possible allergies for Jan.)

Alice: Maybe she’s allergic to dust.

Carol: It can’t be dust, they’re just as much dust upstairs as there is downstairs. (Alice hands her a coffee cup) Thank you. I’m sorry, Alice. I just meant that it’s all very well dusted.

Alice: Oh. I just had a funny thought. Maybe she’s allergic to a person.

Carol: Ohhh, Alice.

Alice: It happens. I remember reading once about a woman who was allergic to her husband.

Carol: I read about that too, they had to get a divorce.

Alice: Now we know she’s not allergic to either one of us because we were both up there with her and she never sneezed once.

Carol: Maybe it’s her new pillow. No, it doesn’t have any feathers in it.

Alice: She couldn’t be allergic to her sisters because you would have found out about that a long time ago. (Pause)  Maybe it’s one of the boys or Mr. Brady.

Carol: Alice, really.

Alice: Think about it, Mrs. Brady. She hasn’t sneezed once since they left this morning.

Carol: Well, that doesn’t prove….

Mike (coming in through the front door): Honey, I’m home.

Alice: If it’s Mr. Brady, we can check it out faster.

Carol: Alice, it’s just too far fetched.

(Mike comes in the kitchen.)

Mike: Hi, darling.

(He and Carol kiss and then Mike sneezes.)

Carol: God bless you.

(Mike wipes his nose.)

Mike: What are you both staring at, haven’t you ever seen anybody sneeze before?

Carol: Have you been sneezing all day?

Mike: No, first sneeze in a week. How is Jan feeling?

Carol: Much better.

Alice: Well, she hasn’t sneezed at all since you been away…

Carol: Darling, why don’t you run up and see her, she’s just dying to play checkers with you.

Mike: Oh, really? As a boy I was known as the checker champ of Chestnut Avenue.

Carol (laughing): Better watch it, she’s pretty good.

Mike: Let me know when lunch is ready?

Carol: We will.

(Mike turns around and goes to see Jan.)

Alice: Does that tear your heart out? He’s so cheerful. He has no idea what he’s walking into.

Carol: Alice, we don’t know it’s Mr. Brady, we don’t know what it is.

Alice: You’re right.

Carol: We’ll just wait until we find out.

Alice: You mean, just stand here and wait?

Carol: You’re not suggesting that we go upstairs and eavesdrop.

(Alice nods. Mike enters Jan’s room.)

Mike: Hi, princess.

Jan: Hi, Daddy.

(Mike comes to sit with Jan and she starts sneezing again.)

Mike: How are you feeling?

Jan: I’m all stuffed up.

Mike: Awww, that’s too bad.

(He leans over and they kiss. He feels her forehead.)

Mike: You have a fever?

Jan: No, Mommy took my temperature.

(She sneezes again.)

Mike: Your mom said you’re not sneezing as much .

Jan: Now, it started up again.

(She continues to sneeze as Carol and Alice listen in from the hallway.)

Mike: Do you want to play me a game of checkers?

Jan (sneezing): Not right now. I’m feeling worse.

Mike: You mean, since, I came in?

Jan: Yes, especially since you sat down.

(Alice and Carol look at each other worriedly while Jan persists in sneezing.)

Mike: Poor kid, want me to read to you? (Jan nods) Just settle back and relax a little bit and close your eyes.

Jan: I can try.

(She sneezes again.)

Alice: Mrs. Brady, we need to get him out of there.

Carol: Mike, would you come out here, please?

Mike: Sure honey, soup’s on?

Carol: Not exactly.

Alice: That’s the fire you might say.

(Carol shushes Alice.)

Mike (to Jan): I’ll read to you later.

(He gives her a tissue and gets up. Meanwhile, Tiger, who was sitting on the side of the bed, also gets up and runs into the bathroom.)

Mike: Hi, honey, what’s up?

Carol: Mike, I don’t quite know how to tell you this…

Alice: Jan’s allergic to you.

Carol (bitterly): Thank you, Alice.

Mike: What’s this all about?

Carol: You heard Jan sneezing just now? Well, she didn’t sneeze once while you were at the office.

Alice: It’s one of those rare things.

Mike: Now, that’s silly.

Carol: Well, that’s what I thought too. Have you heard her sneeze since she left the room?

Mike: No.

(Mike goes back in the room.)

Mike: How are you feeling now, Jan?

Jan: Much better, Daddy. It was funny, right after you left the room, I started feeling better.

Mike: Good. I’m glad to hear it, I’ll see you after lunch.

(Tiger comes back in the room while Mike joins Carol and Alice in the hallway,)

Mike (to Carol and Alice): Yep.

Carol: Oh, Mike.

(She hugs him sadly.)

Mike: Now, honey.

Alice: Why don’t you two look on the brightside.

Mike: Would you mind just telling us what that is.

Alice: Well. (Pause) You can get her a gas mask.

(They hear Jan sneezing more.)

Mike: What was that?

Alice: Maybe you could get her a gas mask.

(Jan sneezes ever more.)

Carol (happy): Oh, that’s music.

Mike: She’s singing our song.

(They come into her room and see Tiger on the bed with her, which is causing her to sneeze.)

Mike: Did you sneeze, Jan?

Jan: Yes. Please, Tiger, get down, go away.

Mike: Does it bother you with Tiger here?

Jan: Yes. It’s terrible. Oh, I just realized.

Alice: We better get him out of here. Come on, katchoo king.

Mike: There now. (Carol and Mike sit down with Jan) How’s that?

Jan: Oh, better.

Mike: Does it bother you when I sit here?

Jan: Not at all.

Carol (sighing): What a relief. We thought you were allergic to (Pause) Never mind. It’s Tiger.

Jan: Tiger. What’s he doing?

Mike: He isn’t doing anything, Jan. It’s something about his hair. Invisible little particles, that’s what makes you sneeze.

Carol (smiling): I was afraid we’d have to get rid of Daddy but… (She suddenly loses her smile) Oh Mike, what are we gonna do about Tiger?

Mike: I don’t know, the boys have raising him since he was a pup, they’ll be heartbroken.

Jan: I’m sorry, Daddy.

Mike: It isn’t your fault, sweetheart.

Jan: Maybe it’s not Tiger after all. Alice! Alice, Can you bring Tiger back?

Carol: Darling, we’re sure it’s Tiger.

Jan: Maybe it isn’t.

Alice (coming back in with Tiger): You’re sure you want him?

Jan: Come on, Tiger. (Tiger goes up to Jan)  Come on Tiger, come here Tiger, come on Tiger, come on, come on, baby. Oh no!

(Jan sneezes again and the scene fades.)

(The next scene has the boys outside playing with Tiger while Mike, Carol and Alice are inside the kitchen with Alice pouring them coffee, while they are pondering how to break the news.)

Carol: Those poor boys.

Mike: It’ll break their hearts.

Carol: Tiger’s such a sweet dog.

Mike: Good watchdog too.

Carol: The way he took to me and the girls.

Alice: Treated you just like the rest of the family.

Mike: Dogs like Tiger you know are not easy to come by.

Alice: I sure don’t envy you, Mr. Brady, having to tell the boys.

Mike: Bad news is part of life. Something unpleasant happens, you have to face it. Be realistic. There’s no alternative, there’s no alternative. Might as well not put it off. I’ll go and tell them now.

(Mike gets up to go outside.)

Carol: Mike. (Mike stops) I wish there was something I can do.

Alice: Me too, Mr. Brady.

Mike: Thanks.

(He goes outside.)

Alice: Did I ever tell you he had Tiger before we had Bobby?

Carol: Yes, now. Alice, why did you have to tell me now?

Alice: I just happened to think about it now.

Carol: Well, try to think of something else. Be brave like Mr. Brady.

(Mike is outside and meets the boys. Greg throws a football and Mike catches it.)

Mike: Hi, gang.

Greg, Peter and Bobby: Hi, dad.

Mike: Time out fellas. Let’s have a little talk. Come on, Tiger. This concerns you too.

(Mike sits down and the boys and Tiger join him,)

Greg: You look pretty serious, Dad.

Mike: Well, I’m afraid it is pretty serious, son. Your mother kept Jan home from school today because she thought she had a cold.

Greg: We wondered what happened to her.

Peter: How is she?

Mike: Fine. It turned out Jan didn’t have a cold after all.

Peter: She was just pretending?

Bobby: What a phony baloney.

Mike: No, she wasn’t pretending and it wasn’t phony. Jan has an allergy.

Bobby: An alle what?

Mike: Allergy. That’s something that makes you feel miserable when you get anywhere near it.

Peter: I Have an allergy too. Arithmetic.

Mike: Peter, I’m talking about coughing and sneezing and eyes tearing. There’s something around the house that’s doing all these terrible things to Jan.

Greg: What’s the problem. Whatever it is, let’s just get rid of it.

Mike: Even if it’s Tiger?

Greg: Tiger?

(Tiger barks.)

Mike: Jan’s allergic to Tiger and I’m afraid boys that they cannot live together in the same house.

Peter: Ah, Dad.

Greg: That’s terrible.

Bobby: Where’s Jan gonna live?

Mike: Jan will live with us, Bobby. And maybe Tiger can live with Grandma and Grandpa.

Bobby: I don’t want Tiger to go away.

Mike: Tiger’s a dog, son. Jan’s your sister.

Peter: We’ll just keep Tiger away from Jan.

Bobby: Yeah, yeah.

Mike: Boys, it’s impossible in the same house.

Greg: Isn’t there anything we can do?

Mike: Sorry fellas. Jan’s allergy gets worse and worse with Tiger around, I’m afraid he’ll have to go.

(The next scene has Peter and Bobby in their room with Tiger. Greg comes in with a bone.)

Peter: Did you get it?

Greg: Right here. (He takes it out of the paper bag) There you go, Tiger. Boy, this is the first time he’s eaten a bone in our room.

Peter: Yeah, it’s kind of like a special occasion.

Bobby: He’s gonna know something’s wrong.

Greg: Dogs can’t figure out things like that, not even Tiger.

Peter: He sure likes that bone.

Bobby: I hope he doesn’t try to bury it right in the floor, he’ll get splinters.

Greg: Don’t be dumb. He’ll bury it in the backyard with the rest of his bones.

Bobby: Hey, maybe we oughtta dig them up now so he can take them with him.

Peter: Nah, he’ll get new ones at Grandma’s house.

Greg: I guess we all got to say good-bye to him now.

Peter: Who’s gonna say good-bye to him first.

Greg: Go ahead.

Peter: Me, you’re the oldest.

Bobby: For the first time I’m glad I’m the youngest.

Peter: He sure is enjoying that bone.

Greg: We don’t even wanna break the bad news to him.

Bobby: It will spoil his appetite.

Greg: I guess we gotta do it.

(He goes over to speak to Tiger, who is still chewing on the bone.)

Greg: Tiger. (He taps him) Tiger. Tiger, I’m talking to you!

Bobby: He ain’t listening.

Peter: I bet he has a feeling in his bones, I mean his own, not the one he’s chewing.

Greg: Listen fella, I got some terrible news. (Tiger is too busy with the bone to listen) Would you leave that bone alone for a minute.

Peter: We should have given it to him after we said good-bye.

Bobby: I bet he wouldn’t have wanted it then.

Greg: Tiger. Leave that bone alone for a minute, will you? Tiger. Tiger. (He turns to Peter and Bobby) That crummy bone is messing up everything.

Peter: Tell him good-bye anyway.

Bobby: Yeah, let him eat it.

Greg (almost on the verge of tears): What I wanted to tell you pal is, as much as we love you, we gotta give you away. It’s killing us, but there’s nothing we can do about it.

Greg (getting up): You tell him, Peter.

(Peter goes over to speak to him.)

Peter: Tiger, you know we don’t wanna give you away.

Bobby: Tell him we’ll miss him.

Peter: And we’re gonna miss you something awful. (Tiger is still chewing on the bone) Tiger, Tiger. Oh, he doesn’t care about us, all he wants is that bone.

Bobby: Maybe he doesn’t want us to now how he really feels. (Bobby goes over to speak to Tiger) Tiger. All I want to say is…. (He breaks down and cries) Oh, Tiger!

(Jan is in her room telling Marcia and Cindy about the situation.)

Jan: And whenever Tiger comes around me, I sneeze and I wheeze and I can hardly breathe.

Cindy: I don’t wanna get rid of him.

Jan: Neither do I but Dad says his hair makes me sneeze.

Marcia: I know what we can do, let’s give him a good bath. Then his hair won’t make you sneeze anymore.

Jan: Hey, that’s a good idea.

Marcia: Come on, Cindy. (She takes her by the hand as they leave the room) Jan, you stay here or you’ll sneeze.

Jan: Okay.

(Marcia and Cindy are in the bathroom bathing Tiger in the tub.)

Cindy: Don’t forget behind his ears.

Marcia (smiling): Okay.

(Tiger sheds himself of the soap and water.)

Marcia and Cindy: Tiger!

(They continue to wash him and the scene fades out.)

(In the next scene, the boys are in their room talking.)

Peter: Boy, I’m going to miss Tiger.

Bobby: Darn that Jan anyway.

Greg: She can’t help it. It’s her dumb nose.

Peter: Hey, I got an idea. Some people get heart transplants. Maybe Jan can get a nose transplant.

Greg: That’s crazy.

Bobby: Sure, where are we gonna get an extra nose.

Greg: You guys are both such dumb heads. I don’t even know how we could be brothers. There’s only one thing to do.

Peter: What’s that?

Greg: Well, Tiger’s hair is causing Jan trouble, we’ll give him a bath. Get his hair real clean.

Peter: Hey yeah, scrub the allergy right off him.

Bobby: Good idea.

Greg: Shh. We’ll keep it a secret. That way it’ll be a real test when Jan smells him. Come on.

(The next scene has the boys in the bathroom pulling Tiger into the tub. Tiger jumps out as soon as they get him in there.)

Bobby: What’s wrong with him?

Peter: I’ve never seen him so afraid of water.

Greg: Afraid or not, he’s gotta have a good bath. It’s our only hope for keeping him. Come on, Tiger.

(They grab him and pull him back in the tub and start to bathe him.)

(The next scene is later that evening. Mike and Carol say good night to the boys.)

Mike: Good night, fellas.

Carol: Good night, Peter. (She and Mike kiss him good night, then do the same to Bobby) Good night, Greg (She kisses him)

Mike: Good night, Greg. No talking, right to sleep.

Bobby: Dad? (Mike and Carol stop) If Tiger doesn’t make Jan sneeze tomorrow, will we still have to give him away?

Mike: No, of course not, Bobby, but I wouldn’t depend on that.

Carol: I’m afraid that would take a miracle.

Bobby: Maybe there will be a miracle.

Carol:  I hope so. Good night.

(She and Mike leave the room and Bobby falls asleep.)

(The next scene has Carol coming downstairs and asking Alice if she has a bath ready for Tiger.)

Carol: Alice, Alice, Alice. (Alice comes out to the kitchen) The kids are asleep. Ready for action?

Alice: Soap, scrub brush, tub of water, ready and waiting.

Carol: I didn’t want to say anything to the boys.  I didn’t want to get their hopes up.

Alice: It’s high time Tiger had a bath anyway.

Carol: I better get back before Mr. Brady notices.

(Alice is in the laundry room giving tiger a bath in a small, portable tub. When she turns around to get the scrub brush, Tiger starts to walk away. Alice goes after him and brings him back.)

Alice: Come here, Tiger. (She puts him back in the bucket) What’s the matter with you, Tiger? You usually enjoy a bath. Believe me, this is gonna be a good one.

(The next scene has Mike waking up. He also gives Tiger a bath in the laundry room.)

Mike: Come on, Tiger. You’ve been a member of this family for a long time. (He picks up Tiger to put him in the tub) You’re a good dog. We don’t wanna lose you so, it may be hopeless, but you’re gonna have a bath like you never had before.

(Mike goes to the get the cleaning equipment and Tiger runs. Mike catches him and brings him back.)

Mike: At a boy.

(The next scene, we cut into the next morning with Carol and Alice bringing Tiger to the bottom of the stairs.)

Carol: Come on, Alice. Sit down, Tiger. Here he comes.

(Mike comes down.)

Mike: Good morning, Alice.

Alice: Good morning, Mr. brady.

Mike (to Carol): Hi, sweetheart.

Carol: Hi.

Mike: Girls up?

Carol: They’ll be down in a minute. Want some coffee?

Mike: In a minute. (He reaches down to pet Tiger) Hello, Tiger. How are you?

(The boys come down the stairs.)

Greg: Good morning.

Peter: Good morning.

Alice: Oh, hi guys.

Carol: Hi fellas.

Mike: Hi boys.

Greg: There’s good old Tiger.

Peter: How are you Tiger?

Bobby: Where are the girls?

Carol: They’ll be down in a minute.

Alice: Want some juice fellas?

Greg: In a minute.

(Marcia and Cindy come down the stairs.)

Mike: Hi girls.

Marcia: Good morning everybody.

Carol: Good morning.

Marcia: Hi Tiger.

Cindy: Hello, Tiger.

Greg: Boy, he sure smells clean.

Alice: Doesn’t he?

Mike: You bet he does.

Peter: I’ll say so.

Marcia: Squeaky clean.

Bobby: He’s pure.

Alice: Cleanest dog in the neighborhood.

Carol: Absolutely.

Mike: I seem to be in full agreement on that. What we have here is a clean dog.

(Jan comes downstairs.)

Mike: Good morning, Jan

Everyone: Hi, Jan.

Marcia: You look much better.

Carol: Doesn’t she look great?

Greg: How are you feeling?

Jan: Oh, I feel fine. Come on, Tiger. Come here. Come on, Tiger. Hi.

(Tiger goes up to Jan and he pets him and plays with him. Suddenly, she starts to sneeze again. Much to everyone’s chagrin.)

Marcia: Oh, no.

Mike: It just started?

Jan: Just as I got near Tiger.

(She sneezes again.)

Carol: Oh, dear.

Mike: Well, there’s no use putting it off. Come on, Tiger. I’ll have to take you over to Grandma’s. Come on.

Bobby: Bye, Tiger.

Greg: Be a good dog.

Peter: We’ll come and see you every day, practically.

Carol: Bye, bye, Tiger.

Marcia: I’m sorry, Tiger.

Cindy: Me too.

Mike: Well, come on.

Alice: Wait a sec. (She kisses Tiger then starts to cry) You stupid dog, get out of here.

Mike: Be back in half an hour.

Carol: Come on kids. Let’s get breakfast.

(The rest of the family heads to the kitchen.)

Jan: I’m sorry, I can’t help it.

Carol: The boys know that, Jan.

Alice: Sure honey, nobody’s blaming you. Right fellas? (They don’t answer) Right fellas?

Greg: Yeah, right.

Peter: Yeah.

Bobby: I guess so.

(The kids all go to sit down.)

Alice: Yeah, you see, so cheer up. I’ll get breakfast. Oops, speaking of getting, I got something for your grandma, Tiger’s new flea powder. Would one of you kids stop your dad before he drives off?

Jan (getting up from her seat): I’ll do it.

(She takes it and then sneezes again. Carol goes over to her.)

Carol: Jan, wait. (She takes the flea powder) Alice! Alice, it’s the flea powder. It’s Tiger’s new flea powder that Jan’s allergic to, it isn’t Tiger at all!

Greg: We gotta stop Dad!

(The family runs over to the front door to stop Mike before he takes off with Tiger as the scene fades out.)

(The final scene takes us to that evening, with Tiger sleeping on Jan’s bed, and Carol and Mike looking in and giving their approval.)

Mike: Then I guess it’s okay, huh.

Carol: Well, just for tonight. Good night, Tiger.

Mike: Good night, boy.

(Tiger wags his tail and makes a sound, as if he’s saying good night back and the scene fades out.)

                                      THE END