S1 E22 The Possible Dream

untitled diary

 The Possible Dream

Written by Al Schwartz and Bill freedman

Cindy accidentally gives Marcia’s diary to a junk collector. Just after Marcia wrote an entry on Desi Arnaz Jr. Will she be able to retrieve it? Hope you enjoy the script.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

MIKE BRADY

CAROL BRADY

ALICE NELSON

GREG BRADY

MARCIA BRADY

PETER BRADY

JAN BRADY

BOBBY BRADY

CINDY BRADY

HANDYMAN

MR. COLLINS, clerk at warehouse

MR. THACKERY, manager of used bookstore

DESI ARNAZ JR.

(The episode begins with Marcia in the garage. She’s writing an entry in her diary about her crush on Desi Arnaz Jr..)

Marcia: Every time I see him on television, I just feel, wow, Desi Arnaz Jr., he’s so cute. And my dream of dreams is to be Mrs. Desi Arnaz Jr. (She closes the book while beaming.) Until tomorrow.

(She hides the diary behind the sleeping bags and goes inside. Later on, Carol is outside with a junk collector. She just donated some old books for charity.)

Carol: Well, I hope you can get something with these old books.

Handyman: Any kind of salvage is just fine, lady.

Carol (taking one book out): The Flora and the Fauna of Western Australia. That was my husband’s brief thoughtery period.

(Cindy comes out chasing after her ball.)

Cindy: Hi Mom, what are you doing with those books?

Carol: Getting rid of them, and your ball just rolled into the garage if that’s what you were going to ask me next.

Cindy: That’s what I was gonna ask next.

Carol: Well, thanks for your trouble.

Handyman: Thank you for the donation, lady.

(Carol walks away while Cindy goes to retrieve her ball. She finds Marcia diary back there and, assuming it’s a book that Carol overlooked, she takes it to the man.)

Cindy: Hey mister, you forgot this one. (She puts it on top of the other books.) There. You might as well get rid of all the old books.

Handyman: Thanks.

(He walks away with the books and Cindy stands there playing with her ball.)

(The next scene has Marcia going out to the garage to find her diary. She is shocked when it is missing.)

Marcia (upset): It’s got to be here! It’s got to! My diary, my most secret thought. It’s gone.

(Mike comes by with a hose.)

Mike: Hi, sweetheart.

Marcia: Hi.

Mike: You looking for something?

Marcia: Yeah, my diar… No. Nothing at all.

Mike: Nothing, huh. That shouldn’t be too hard to find. Give me a hint, I never looked for a nothing before.

Marcia: Really, Dad. You don’t have to bother.

Mike: It’s no bother. Bigger than a bread box? Animal, vegetable or mineral? Oh, do you wear it or do you eat it?

Marcia: Really, Dad. it’s not that important.

Mike: Well, whatever it is, it couldn’t have walked off by itself. somebody must have taken it.

(Marcia angrily realizes that and goes upstairs to confront Jan.)

Marcia: All right, where is it?

Jan: Where’s what?

Marcia: You know what?

Jan: How do I know which what unless you tell me what what?

Marcia: My diary. Hand it over.

Jan: What would I be doing with your diary?

Marcia: Snooping, that’s what.

Jan: Do I look like the kind of person who would stoop so low as to read someone else’s diary?

Marcia (bitterly): Yes.

Jan: Well, anyway, I didn’t,

Marcia: Are you positive?

Jan: I’m not the least bit interested in your personal secrets, Marcia. (She puts a ribbon in her hair.) But what’s in your diary that you don’t want me to read?

Marcia: Are you kidding? Wild horses couldn’t drag it out of me.

(Next, she goes into the boys’ room. Greg is lifting a weight.)

Greg: Man, it takes real muscle to do that?

Bobby: Can I try?

Greg: Sure.

(Bobby attempts to lift it but can’t)

Bobby: I guess I’m too young to have real muscles yet.

(Marcia comes in.)

Marcia: All right, if you give it right back, I won’t press charges.

Greg: What are you talking about?

Marcia: As if you didn’t know!

Peter: Bobby, do you now what she’s talking about?

Bobby: No. Greg, do you knw what she’s talking abut?

Greg: No. Marcia, do you know what you’re talking about?

Marcia: I certainly do! Somebody in this room took my diary?

Greg (laughing): Young diary? You mean you actually keep one of those stupid things?

Bobby: What is a diary?

Peter: It’s a book, that people write things in, that they don’t want anybody else to read.

Bobby: Why?

Greg: So They can sit down and write stuff like (He sits down to pretend he’s writing an entry) Dear diary, at last I met him, my dream man. it was at the delicatessen, and our fingers tingled as we both reached for the same potato salad.

(Peter and Bobby laugh while Marcia protests)

Marcia: I did not write any ridiculous stuff like that in my diary!

Peter: You didn’t?

Marcia: I should say not.

Greg: Then why are you so worried someone might read it?

Marcia: None of your business. Now look, I’ll close my eyes and count to 10, and when I open them, that diary better be on this desk. (She closes her eyes and counts, getting more excited as she gets close to 10. When she finally opens them, she finds no diary and the guys give innocent looks. She angrily leaves the room.)

(Next, she goes downstairs to the family room, where Cindy is brushing her doll’s hair.)

Marcia: Hi, Cindy.

Cindy: Hi.

Marcia: Are you combing your doll’s hair with my comb?

Cindy: It’s the one you gave me. Remember?

Marcia: Oh, yeah. You didn’t happen to see my diary. Did you?

Cindy: I don’t know if I did or I didn’t.

Marcia: What does that mean?

Cindy: I don’t know what a diary is.

Marcia: It’s a book you write your innermost thoughts in.

Cindy: Gee, I never had an innermost thought in my whole life.

Marcia: It was about this big (She uses her hands to show its size) It had a brown leather cover, and I had it hidden behind the sleeping bags in the garage.

Cindy: Oh, that book. Sure I saw it.

Marcia (happy): You did. (She comes over to her) Oh, Cindy, I could kiss you, what did you do with it?

Cindy: I gave it to that man?

Marcia: What man?

Cindy: The one Mommy gave all those other old books to.

Marcia (upset): Oh, no. Cindy, tell me you didn’t.

Cindy: Okay, I didn’t, but I did.

Marcia: My confidential secret feelings, in the hands of a complete stranger. Cindy Brady, I’ll never talk to you again as long as I live.

(She angrily storms off as we cut into the next scene. She is glumly sitting in the kitchen as Alice takes some cookies out of the oven.)

Alice (to Marcia): How about a cookie?

Marcia: No thanks. I’m not in the mood.

Alice: Since when do you have to be in a special mood for chocolate chips? (She sits down with her) Look, honey, don’t think I don’t know how you feel.

Marcia: Nobody can know.

Alice: For your information, I have been keeping a diary my whole life.

Marcia: You really have?

Alice: I recorded every romance I’ve had in the last 20 years. (Marcia looks at her admiringly) Of course, that’s the shortest chapter in the book. But there are few juicy little items tucked away here and there.

Marcia: Then you might understand.

Alice: I just said I would.

Marcia: I mean, well, if I was gonna tell you something in secret, would you promise to keep it a  secret?

Alice: They don’t call me Alice clam-up for nothing.

Marcia (smiling): Alice, you knw Desi Arnaz Jr.

Alice: Well, you bet I do. I’ve seen him on the Lucy Show.

Marcia: Well, half my diary is about him. How cute he is, how hip.

Alice: Aww, you’re pretty sharp, Marcia. I know his mother’s housekeeper and she says Desi Jr. is a real groovy kid.

Marcia: I knew it. You can tell by his smile, his soulful eyes, the way he plays those drums. (She closes her eyes while fantasizing.)

Alice: Oh, he’s with it, all right. Way out, but not too far.

Marcia: But I haven’t told you my secret secret. I wrote in my diary that, I’m just wild about Desi Arnaz Jr. , and my dream of dreams is someday I can be Mrs. Desi Arnaz Jr. But if anybody ever read that diary, I’d just perish, I know I will.

(Marcia gets up and walks away while Alice gets up and does some straightening out in the kitchen.)

(Next, Mike is in his den when Alice comes in to bring him  a snack.)

Alice: Mr. Brady, I don’t suppose it’s really any of my business.

Mike: Well, even if it isn’t Alice, go on.

Alice: Mrs. Brady has gone to the market and Marcia’s in her room in tears.

Mike: Alice, I tried talking to Marcia but it only makes her cry louder.

Alice: I wasn’t talking about talking, I was talking about action.

Mike: Action?

Alice: The Friend in Need society only picked up those books and Marcia’s diary yesterday.

Mike: And they probably haven’t even had time to unpack them. Is that what you were trying to say?

Alice: Word for word.

Mike: Why didn’t I think of that?

Alice: Well, you probably never kept a diary, Mr. Brady. and you’ve never been a girl.

Mike (looking at his watch): Do you have any idea where that Friend in Need office is located?

Alice: At the corner of Riverton and Eighth.

Mike: Good, I’m on my way.

(He gets up but then returns to grab some cookies that Alice brought to him.)

Next, we see Mike down at the Friend In Need warehouse. He talks to Mr. Collins, the clerk.)

Mike: Your organization made a stop at my home for some cartons of books, and when the man picked up the books, one got in by mistake, and I’d like to get it back.

Collins: That’s no problem. What kind of book was it?

Mike: A diary.

Collins: A diary, huh, (He starts to laugh) No wonder you’re anxious to get it back. You should know better than to leave evidence like that laying around for the little woman to find.

Mike: Oh, no, you don’t understand.

Collins: I do, but would the little woman? Next thing you know, you’ll be sharing the doghouse with Rover.

Mike: It’s not my diary. It happened to belong to a young lady.

Collins: Who, hoh. So your girlfriend keeps a dairy, maybe you better not let your wife find it.

Mike: The young lady happens to be my daughter.

Collins (laughing): Now, that’s a new one. I’ve heard them called cousins and nieces, but daughters. (He laughs again) You oughtta have that pamphlet.

Mike: We seem to be operating on different wavelengths. Look, it’s very important I have that book back. May I have it?

Collins: Why not? it’s your property.

Mike: Good. You just tell me where the books are that came in yesterday and, well, I hope I don’t have to look in every box in the warehouse.

Collins: Oh, you wouldn’t find it there.

Mike: Oh, yeah, why not?

Collins: We send all books out to second hand book stores as soon as we get hem in. (He looks up) and those that came in yesterday went to, uh, Phillips Book Store on 7th Street.

Mike: Thanks.

Collins: And some went to Weblocks on East Elm, and Harbour’s on Belvedere, Eel E. Bookie Trove, Blaydon’s on Riverside, the Valley Book Emporium, Fisher’s Used Books on Byland and the Old Press on Chace Blvd. and Elmo’s Drive-in.

Mike (incredulous): Elmo’s Drive-in?

Collins: Connected to Elmo’s Bookstore.

Mike: Oh. (Pause) Listen, this is quite a list.

Collins: Good luck. Now I hope you get the diary back to your (starting o laugh again) daughter.

(Mike takes the list he has written down and walks out.)

(Next, Carol returns home with groceries.)

Carol (coming in with bags): Alice, did anything spectacular happen while I was marketing?

Alice: You bet. Mr. Brady’s gone down to the Friend in Need office to retrieve Marcia’s diary.

Carol: Well, knowing Mr. Brady, he’ll retrieve it.

(Alice helps Carol with the groceries.)

Carol: That’s an obvious solution.

Alice: It certainly was.

Carol: Well, look, I’ll go spread the good news, okay.

(Carol goes to find Marcia and Alice sorts out the groceries.)

(The next scene has Peter and Bobby in their room wrapping a new diary they got for Marcia. Greg comes in.)

Greg: What are you guys doing?

Peter: Wrapping up a new diary for Marcia.

Greg: A new diary?

Bobby: Real new, we just chipped in and bought it.

Greg: What would Marcia want with a new diary?

Bobby: To write things in nobody will read, like you said.

Greg: A diary’s only important if something’s already in it.

Peter: It has to be new sometime.

Bobby: Yeah, they don’t sell old diaries.

Greg: If you’re gonna start anew diary, you’d may as well start a new life to go in it. (Carol comes in.) Isn’t that right, Mom?

Carol: Uh, don’t ask me, all I heard was someone starting anew life.

Greg: Peter and Bobby want to give Marcia a new diary.

Bobby: And he said diaries are only good if they were already written n.

Carol: Well, I think that’s the way Marcia would feel about it.  The old one’s the one she wants, and Dad’s gone to try and find it.

Greg; Where?

Carol: The Friend in Need office.

Bobby: I hope he finds it.

Peter: Yeah, having sisters who don’t talk to each other sure is stupid.

(She gives Peter a playful shove and leaves the room. She finds Cindy wandering up and down the hallway.)

Cindy: Mommy, what does tresprass mean.

Carol: Tresprass? I think you mean trespass, dear.

Cindy: Whatever it is, Marcia told me not to do it on her property. And how will I know if I’m not doing it if I don’t know what it is?

Carol: Well, don’t you worry about it, dear. I’ll try to straighten everything out.

(She goes into the girls’ room, where has a sign that reads No trespassing, you know who.)

Carol: Marcia, don’t you think you’re carrying this a bit far?

Marcia: After what she did to me, she’s lucky I even let her breathe the same air I do.

Carol: Well, she is your sister.

Marcia: Please, mom, don’t remind me.

Carol (sitting down with her): Guess where Dad is.

Marcia: Where?

Carol: Getting your diary back.

Marcia (excited): Really and truly.

Carol (hugging her): I bet he’s on his way home right now. (Marcia starts to look worried) Oh, you can relax, I’m sure he won’t read it.

Marcia: How did you know what I was thinking?

Carol: One of the many secrets of motherhood, my dear.

(They hug again and Marcia rips up the sign. Carol gives the okay sign.)

(The next scene has Cindy in the family room coloring. Marcia comes in to make amends.)

Marcia: Hi, Cindy.

Cindy: Hi.

Marcia: Want a cookie?

Cindy: No thanks. (She looks up and realizes it’s Marcia) Marcia, don’t talk to me!

Marcia: Why shouldn’t I? After all, you are my baby sister.

Cindy: But I thought you said I ruined your life.

Marcia: You did, but I forgive you. Wanna play a game of checkers?

Cindy: Sure, I’ll go get them.

(Marcia takes over coloring in Cindy’s book and then Mike comes home.)

Mike: Hi honey.

Marcia (excited): Dad, did you get the diary? Did you get it?

Carol (coming in): Oh, honey, did you find it?

Mike: Oh no, it’s in one of the used bookstores downtown. I don’t know which one, I checked a number of them so far.

Marcia (sitting down and getting upset): My diary, in a used bookstore.

Carol (sitting down with her): Now, honey.

(Mike gives a sigh of disgust)

Marcia: My private, most personal emotions, naked on public display, for anyone to see.

Mike: Don’t worry, Marcia, we’re gonna track it down.

Cindy (returning): Here’s the checkers, Marcia. (Marcia gets up and walks away) Looks like she’s not talking to me again, I wish she’d make up her mind.

(She walks out of the room. Mike sits down and talks to Carol)

Mike: Listen, I’m sorry to disappoint her, but, you know, all hope isn’t exactly lost yet. I still have a handful of these bookstores left but it would be easier if I knew what that diary looks like.

Carol: Oh, that’s easily solved. Marcia knows what it looks like and so does Cindy.

Mike: So I take Marcia…

Carol: And I take Cindy and we split the bookstores that are left, and then, back to your drafting board.

(She tears the list in half and gives one half to Mike.)

Mike: We split?

(Carol and Cindy are down at Gilbert’s Books, one of the used bookstores. They meet Mr. Thackery, the manager.)

Thackery: May I help you?

Carol: Oh, I certainly hope so, we’re looking for a diary.

Thackery: You came to the right place. How about Samuel Pepys’ diary, or the diary of Michael Whittlesworth (Pause) or the diary of a madman, now there is fascinating reading.

Carol: I don’t doubt it, but we are looking for a diary written by Marcia Brady.

Thackery (taking his glasses off): Marcia Brady, I never heard of her. Any relation to Nicholas Brady, 1659-1726? Excellent poet.

Carol: I’m sure he was, but Marcia Brady is my daughter.

Cindy: And my sister.

Carol: And her diary got mixed up in some books we gave to the Friend in Need society, and I understand that some of those books might be here.

Thackery: Oh, yes, they’re still in the boxes. I haven’t had time to sort them out yet.

(He leads Carol and Cindy to where the boxes are)

Carol: Well, would you mind if we took a look for the diary?

Thackery: Ooh, not at all. I hope it make interesting reading.

Carol (laughing): Oh, we’re not going to read it.

Cindy: It’s full of secrets.

Thackery: Ooh, all right. You look till your heart’s content.

Carol: Oh, thank you. (to Cindy) Sweetheart, you start over there and I’ll start here.

(They look through the boxes and Cindy finds something.)

Cindy (excited): Oh Mommy, here!

Carol: The diary?

Cindy: Alice in Wonderland, would you read it to me?

Carol: No. We’re here to look for Marcia’s diary.

Cindy: While you read, I’ll look.

Carol: Now Cindy, you must have heard that story a million times.

Cindy: Yes, but going down that rabbit hole is so exciting.

Carol (pointing to the box): Look.

(The next scene has them checking every book in the boxes.)

Carol: Well, I think we’re out of luck, sweetheart, there’s not a sign of it anywhere.

Cindy: Well, don’t throw in the towel, Mom.

Carol: Where did you hear that expression?

Cindy: From Greg. He said that’s what fighters do when they give up.

Carol: Well, we looked in every box.

Cindy: Not this one over here.

(She shows Carol a box behind her)

Carol: Oh, I didn’t notice that one.

(They look through it but can’t seem to find it.)

Cindy: Mom, let’s throw in the towel.

(Carol nods in agreement. Marcia and Mike are at home. Marcia is depressed because they couldn’t find it. Alice is serving them in the kitchen.)

Marcia (to Alice): We didn’t have any luck at all.

Mike: Yeah, even at Elmo’s Drive-in. hear anything from Mrs. Brady?

Alice: Not a word. (The doorbell rings) I’ll get it.

Mike: I just hope the next kid who keeps a diary around here decides to write it on a blackboard. (He laughs)

Marcia: Daddy, how could you make jokes at a time like this?

Mike: Marcia, the world hasn’t exactly come to a catastrophic end, you know.

Marcia: Well, it has for me.

Alice (coming back in the kitchen): Marcia, there’s somebody to see you.

Marcia: Me, at the lowest moment of my life?

Alice: I’m not sure he knew that.

Marcia: He? Who is it, Alice?

Alice: Well, I didn’t catch his name, but he’s waiting in the living room

Marcia: Well, okay. Excuse me.

(She gets up and heads tot he living room.)

Mike: Maybe an unexpected visitor will perk up her spirits a little bit.

Alice: I’m sure this one will, Mr. Brady.

(Marcia is out in the kitchen, where she meets Desi Arnaz Jr.)

untitled desi arnaz jr.

Marcia (gulping); Desi Arnaz Jr.

Desi: Hi, Marcia.

Marcia: You must have the wrong house, Mr. Arnaz, and the wrong Marcia. The wrong everything.

Desi: Now, wait a minute, don’t get uptight. I’ve got the right house, and the right girl.

Marcia: You mean it, Mr. Arnaz? He nods.) I’m the Marcia Brady you wanted to see?

Desi: Yeah, only don’t call me Mr. Arnaz, I’m Desi.

Marcia (happy): I can really call you Desi?

Desi: Right.

Marcia: Thanks.

(Mike and Alice are leaning out form the kitchen.)

Mike: Alice, what would a famous kid like that want to see Marcia for?

Alice: Who knows? Maybe a little bird whispered in his ear?

(Cut back to the living room)

Desi: I heard you lost your diary.

Marcia: How?

Desi: Well, one of your sisters gave it away to some charity.

Marcia: No, I mean how did you hear it? Oh, I know. Alice, our housekeeper told your mother’s housekeeper, and that’s why you’re here.

Desi: No, I’ll tell you why I’m here. I’m here to meet my number 1 fan.

Marcia (flattered): Oh, I sure am. You know, when I was younger, I thought Captain Kangaroo was something special, but compared to you.

Desi (happy): How about that, I never thought I’d top Captain Kangaroo.

(They both smile. Carol and Cindy come home.)

Cindy: Desi Arnaz Jr. Wow.

Marcia: Desi, (She take shim by the arm0 I’d like you to meet my mother, Mrs., Mrs…

Desi: Mrs. Brady.

Marcia (laughing): Yeah.

Carol: Hi.

Desi: Glad to know you.

Marcia: And this is my sister Cynthia.

Cindy: People call me Cindy.

Desi; Hi, Cindy.

Cindy: Hi. Marcia, here.

(She hands Marcia her diary.)

Marcia: You found my diary!

Carol: it was in the last bookshop.

Cindy: And we didn’t even open it.

Marcia: Thanks so much, Cynthia. Why don’t you go upstairs and play with Jan. (Cindy walks away and Desi waves good-bye to her. Then Marcia turns to Carol.) And mother.

(She looks at her like she wants privacy.)

Carol: Oh, I must have a million things to do. It was nice meeting you, Desi.

Desi (shaking her hand): Nice meeting you. Bye bye.

Desi: Bye.

(Carol walks toward the kitchen.)

Marcia: This is it, my lost diary. See.

(She then starts to look embarrassed.)

Desi: Don’t worry about what’s in that diary. That’s one of the nicest things about being in show business. An occasional mention in a diary.

Marcia: And you don’t think it’s silly.

Desi: No, I dig diaries, and girls like you who write their dreams down.

(All the other kids watch from upstairs, while Carol, Mike and Alice watch from the kitchen.)

Marcia: This is the nicest surprise I can imagine. And those are the nicest words I ever heard.

Desi: Remember when you said I topped Captain Kangaroo as far as you were concerned?

Marcia: Yes.

Desi: Well, as far as I’m concerned, I think you’re the tops yourself.

Marcia: Me.

(He kisses her on the cheek.)

Desi: Bye bye.

Marcia (holding her cheek and beaming): I’ll never wash this cheek again, as long as I live.

(The scene fades out.)

(The final scene has Marcia coming home and she still has her hand over her cheek, where Desi kissed her.)

Mike: Hi, Marcia, how was school today. (She ignores him and walks upstairs.) Can I help you with your algebra? How about an ice cream soda.

(She walks upstairs to her room. He has a surprised look and goes over to Carol.)

Mike: How long is she gonna keep this up? It’s been a week since he kissed her.

Carol: Well, after all, he is Desi Arnaz Jr.

Mike: Listen, how come you don’t react that way when I kiss you?

Carol: But I do, I do. (He kisses her on the cheek and she puts her hand over it.) Oh, I’ll never wash again.

(She walks away pretending to beam while mike stands there and laughs.)

 

                                        THE END

untitled never wash my face

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