The Treasure of Sierra Avenue
Written by Gwen Bagni and Paul Dubov
The boys find a wallet with $1100 and refuse to share with the girls. That causes a major problem in the Brady household. That is, until, the rightful owner claims it. Hope you enjoy the script.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
MIKE BRADY
CAROL BRADY
ALICE NELSON
GREG BRADY
MARCIA BRADY
PETER BRADY
JAN BRADY
BOBBY BRADY
CINDY BRADY
MR. STONER, man who loses wallet
(The boys are playing football in a nearby vacant lot. They set up the spot to kick off and Bobby huts the ball to Peter, who passes it to Greg. Greg throws it to Bobby, who is wearing a helmet and can’t see underneath it, causing him to miss it. Greg and Peter run over to him.)
Greg: Bobby, keep your eyes open.
Bobby: They are, but it’s dark under here. (Greg grabs the ball from him) Hey, I didn’t get to run.
Peter: That’s because you lost the ball. the other side’s got it now.
Greg: Why don’t you sit down, Bobby. Go out, Peter.
(Peter runs to the other side and Greg throws it.)
Bobby: I want to play.
Greg: Okay, chase the ball.
(Bobby goes after the ball and finds a wallet right next to it.)
Greg: Hey, let’s have it.
Bobby: Wow, look what I found.
(Greg picks up the wallet and finds a large amount of cash inside.)
Peter: Wow!
Greg: It’s full of 10s and 20s and 50s, a fortune!
Bobby: Now aren’t you glad I played?
(The scene fades out.)
The next scene has the boys are in the kitchen with Carol, counting the money, with Alice looking on. Greg has the bills in separate piles while he finishes counting.)
Greg: 850, 900 (to Peter) Hey, don’t touch. 950, $1,000 (Carol whistles) 1,050.
Bobby: Boy, that’s a million weeks allowance.
Carol: Whoever lost it must be out of their minds with worry.
Greg: $1,100.
Alice: Wow. For that kind of loot I’ll tape my trick knee, form a league and play every vacant lot in town.
Carol: Oh, I can’t imagine who would carry this much cash around. There must have been a very special reason.
Greg: Mom, that’s the third time you went through that. There’s no identification in there.
Carol: Well, Greg, it has to belong to somebody.
Bobby: Yeah, me.
Peter: You?
Greg: Why you?
Bobby: Because I’m the one that found it.
Peter: Well, I’m the one who missed it so you could find it.
Greg: I’m the one who threw it so you could miss it so he could find it.
Carol: And I’m the one who’s your mother, so can I get into this argument?
Greg: Please, Mom, we all found it.
Peter: So it belongs to all of us.
(Carol reaches for the phone.)
Bobby: Uh-uh, finders keepers.
Greg: I’m the one who said let’s go to the lot in the first place.
Carol (dialing the phone): Greg.
Greg: Yes, Mom?
Carol (on the phone): Hello, Mr. Brady, please?
Greg: What are you calling Dad for?
Carol: I just thought you’d like to tell your father that you and your brothers struck gold, and how you’re going to share it.
Greg (taking the phone): Sure.
(Mike is at his office when his phone rings.)
Mike (answering): Brady.
Greg: Dad.
Mike (preoccupied): Yeah, Greg, what’s up? Anything wrong?
Greg: Oh no, everything’s groovy.
Mike: Look, I’m a little jammed up right now.
Greg: Dad, you’ll never guess what happened.
Mike: Greg, could it wait till later?
Greg: Well, I suppose it could, but see, we were playing football in a lot, and we found $1100.
Mike: Um, that’s fine, Greg. Look, I’ll talk to you later. Give my love to your mother, okay? Good-bye. (He hangs up but suddenly, it dawns on him) $1100.
(Next, Alice is upstairs in the girls’ room, discussing the matter.)
Alice: And that ain’t hay, what is it you kids call money nowadays? Bread? That is a lot of bread. (Cindy starts to run out of the room) Hey, where are you going?
Cindy (excited): Downstairs to see the bread!
Alice: Hey, wait a minute, you’re not finished yet!
(Jan goes over to her desk to figure out how much they get if the money was divided.)
Jan: Let’s see, now, you bring down the two, that’s two sixths, and that’s six thirds. We can let the boys have that.
Alice: And what are you figuring, Lady Einstein?
Jan: Well, you divide $1100 by 6, that’s $183.33 cents, for each of us, and a third.
Alice: If you’re so good at figuring, how come you only got a C+ in math?
Jan: This isn’t math, this is money.
Alice: And you think the boys are gonna want to share.
Marcia: Why shouldn’t they?
Jan: Sure, you know what Dad’s only saying about a family should be one for all and all for one.
Marcia (smiling): And we’re one big happy family, we’re their loving sisters and they’re our loving brothers.
Jan: Besides, we’re giving them the two extra pennies, aren’t we?
Alice: Oh, you girls are generous to a fault.
Marcia (sitting on her bed): Wow, that’s $183.33 for each of the six of us.
(Meanwhile, the boys are in their room figuring as well. Only they plan to only split the money between the three of them and exclude the girls. They have Bobby blocking the door so the girls can’t get in.)
Greg: Let’s see now, that’d be $366.66 for each of the three of us.
Peter: 3 goes into 11.
Greg: Hey, don’t worry, I got it right.
Peter: Hey, you can’t divide 1,100 by 3.
Greg: Why not?
Peter: There’s stuff left over.
Greg: Two thirds of a cent.
Peter: Well, that’s money, let’s flip for it.
(The girls knock on the door.)
Greg: Who is it?
Marcia: It’s your loving sisters.
Greg: Oh, let them in.
(Bobby removes the chair and opens the door.)
Marcia: That’s sure a lot of money.
Greg (grabbing it): Yeah.
Jan: What were you blocking the door for?
Peter: Well, with all this money around…
Greg: Yeah, what happens if nobody were home while we were all at school
Peter: And some crooks break in.
Bobby: Or robbers.
Greg: We were trying to hide a good, safe hiding place.
(Marcia puts her arm around Greg.)
Marcia: That’s a good idea, brother.
Jan: We wouldn’t want anything to happen to our money.
Greg, Peter and Bobby (in unison): YOUR MONEY?
Greg: It’s our money.
(Greg puts the wallet under his pillow.)
Jan: You mean you won’t share it?
Marcia: With your loving sisters?
Cindy: We all love each other, and that’s a lot of bread.
Peter: Gee, none of you were even there when we found it.
Jan: We’d share the money if we found it!
Greg: We wouldn’t expect you to.
Marcia: Well, if the Brady boys are going to be selfish, then the Brady girls just aren’t going to talk to them!
(They start to leave the room.)
Mike (coming in the room): Well, it’s going to be mighty difficult living in the same house not talking to each other, isn’t it?
Marcia: But it’s not our fault, Dad!
Jan: We’d share!
(The kids all start arguing.)
Mike: HOLD IT!!! I’m going to put an end to this problem, here and now. (to Greg) The wallet, please.
(Greg gets the wallet and hands it to Mike.)
Greg: What are you going to do with it, Dad?
Mike: I am going to turn it over to the police department. Because that’s where people usually go when they lose something, hoping that somebody honest is going to turn it in.
Peter: Even if there’s no identification?
Mike: Peter, I.D. or no I.D., we know it’s not ours, don’t we?
Marcia (gleefully): You’re absolutely right, Dad.
Jan: I couldn’t agree more.
Cindy: Me too.
(They turn to leave.)
Mike: Good bye, girls.
(They all say good bye.)
Greg: But what if nobody claims it, then it’s ours, isn’t it?
Mike: Now, look, Greg.
Greg: Well, isn’t it?
(That night, Mike and Carol are in the room further discussing it.)
Mike: If nobody claims it.
Carol: Well somebody will, of course.
Mike: Yeah, but that’s not the point. I don’t like what the money is doing to the boys.
Carol: Well, the girls aren’t helping any by not talking to them.
Mike: Well, I suppose that’s my fault. After all I’ve said about all for one.
Carol: Well, let’s not be unfair to the boys. I mean, after all, they are the ones who found the money.
Mike: You know what? You’re bending over backwards to favor the boys.
Carol: Well, you’re doing a little bending yourself, Mr. Brady. Now, what I think we should do with the money is…
Mike: Yes, Mrs. Brady?
Carol (laughing): I’m as bad as the kids. The money doesn’t even belong to us.
Mike: That’s what I keep saying. Somebody will claim it, and as for the kids, well, you know how they are. In no time, they’ll forget they weren’t speaking, see.
(They kiss good night. The next morning, Carol and Alice are preparing breakfast for the kids.)
Carol: Well, that takes care of the juice, Alice. Now if you can handle the cereal department, I’m gonna see what’s going on upstairs.
Alice: Right.
(Bobby comes down wearing a cowboy hat.)
Carol: Howdy partner.
Bobby: Howdy ma’am.
Alice: You ready for chow?
Bobby: Yep.
(Bobby sits down and Alice gives him some oatmeal. Jan and Cindy come down.)
Jan: Hi, Alice.
Alice: Hi.
Cindy: Hi, Alice.
Alice: Hi.
Bobby: Hi.
Cindy: Hi. (Pause) We’re not supposed to talk.
Bobby: I can talk if I want to.
Cindy: Okay, but I’m not talking to you.
Jan: That’s what you are doing, Cindy.
Cindy: I was not. (she turns to Bobby) Was I?
Alice: Look, let’s have a little less not talking and a little more eating.
(Marcia and Peter come in.)
Marcia: Good morning, Alice.
Peter: Good morning, Alice.
Alice: Morning.
(Marcia is looking in the refrigerator while Peter tries the same thing right behind her.)
Alice: You here for looking or eating?
Peter: Alice, can you tell some people they’re blocking the refrigerator and other people are hungry?
Alice: Marcia, your brother says will you please excuse him.
Marcia (angry): Some people are not only selfish, you won’t even wait their turn.
(Marcia shuts the refrigerator door but Peter opens it and grabs a slice of ham.)
Peter (to Alice): Hey, where’s Greg? He wasn’t upstairs.
Alice: He’s on the phone.
(Peter goes in the family room, where Greg is talking on the phone.)
Greg: Okay, well, I was just wondering. Thank you very much. That’s a lot of money, I’ll keep in touch. Good-bye.
(He hangs up and then notices Peter.)
Greg: Oh, hi Pete.
Peter: Who were you talking to?
Greg: The police. I wanted to see if anybody picked the money up.
Peter: Well, did they?
Greg: No, it’s still there.
Peter (excited): That means maybe we’re gonna get it.
Greg: Don’t count on it. (He shows him the newspaper) Read this.
Peter (reading the paper): Found, brown and white cocker spaniel. So what does that got to do with it?
Greg: No, no, no, the next one.
Peter: Oh. (He reads the next column) Lost, brown wallet.
Greg: That’s it.
Peter: Containing large sum of money. reward. (to Greg) What did you have to go and read that for?
Greg: I couldn’t help it. The paper was sitting right here by the phone.
Peter: There’s a number to call.
Greg: I know.
Peter: Gee, if only we hadn’t looked at it.
Greg: But we did.
Peter: Yeah.
(Greg gets up and starts to ponder.)
Greg: If we call, we could lose the money. Should we call or shouldn’t we? That’s the question.
Peter: What’s the answer?
Greg: I don’t know.
(The scene fades. The next scene is a continuation of their discussion.)
Greg: Are you with me?
Peter: All the way.
Greg: You know the consequences.
Peter: Yep.
Greg: Okay, we call.
Peter: Don’t give it away now, make him tell you exactly where he lost it. And how many $50 bills there were.
Greg: I will. I will. (He picks up the phone) How many bills were there?
Peter: I don’t know.
Greg (on the phone): Sir, I’m calling about the lost wallet you advertised. (Mike comes in) And if you’ll just tell me what it looks like. Brown, huh, it’s worn, old, lots of bills. (He starts to get excited when it turns out to be the wrong one.) $220? Sir, I’m happy to tell you, I mean, I’m sorry to tell you, but this isn’t your wallet. Good bye.
(He hangs up.)
Peter: Boy, it sure pays to be honest.
Mike: Yeah, it sure does, and I’m proud of both of you, but I already called that ad.
Peter: You called?
Mike: Mmm hmm, that’s why the paper’s near the phone.
Greg: You know something, Dad, I feel it. That money’s going to be ours.
Mike: Mmm hmm, it might.
Peter: Might? It’s already been a whole day.
Greg: And nobody even called the police, I checked.
Mike: Well, people don’t always go to the police. That’s why I put an ad of my own in the paper.
Peter: You put one in?
Greg: About our money?
Mike: About the money you found.
Greg: What did you say in the ad?
Mike: Well, just whoever lost a wallet, call us up and identify it. (Peter and Greg look unhappy) Now that ought to bring results.
(The next scene has Carol putting a couple of trays of ice cubes in the refrigerator when the phone rings. The blackboard tells the number of times people called to claim the wallet. Carol sets the trays down and answers the phone.)
Carol: Hello. Yes. Could you describe it? Mmm hmm, mmm hmm, mmm hmm, uh uh, wrong wallet.
(Carol hangs up and tries again to put the ice cube trays in the freezer. She writes down another false claim on the board and drops the eraser. She tries to put the trays back in the freezer but the phone rings again.)
(Next, Alice is on the phone tearfully telling the caller that their claim is also false.)
Alice (sniffling): Yes, that is a lot of money and I’m sure you do need it. I’d like to help you, I really would. Well, it just isn’t the wallet we found. I’m sorry, I’m really very sorry. (She hangs up) Darned onions.
(She adds to the blackboard another false claim and continues to peel the onion in her hand. Mike and Carol come in from shopping.)
Carol: Hi, Alice.
Mike: Hey, is something wrong, Alice?
(She shows them the onion she is peeling.)
Carol: Alice, I’ve told you, peel the onions under cold water.
Alice: What and miss a good cry.
(Carol and Mike laugh.)
Mike: Hey, any calls about the wallet?
Alice: Yeah, 18. And some fascinating guesses. Are you ready for plaid cowhide?
Mike: Yeah, got to expect some ding-a-lings, but, I refuse to be cynical.
(Peter and Bobby come in.)
Peter: Hi, Mom, Hi, Dad.
Carol: Hi.
Bobby: Hi, Mom. Hi, dad. is the money still safe?
Carol: Yes, old mighty King Midas.
Peter: We’ll get it nay day now.
(He and Bobby start helping themselves to grapes.)
Mike: Yeah, well, you know then police can hold on to it for a long time.
Peter: The law says 6 months.
Bobby: Yeah, 6 months.
Mike (looking at Carol): Oh, really.
Peter: Unless, of course, you assume liability.
Mike: That’s very interesting Peter, go on.
Peter: Well, if you sign for it, we can ask the police to give us the wallet right now, and hold it ourselves 6 months in the bank, and collect the interest.
Bobby: That’s how it works.
Carol: Where in the world did you get all this information?
Peter: Joey’s Dad told me.
Bobby: Joey’s Peter’s friend.
Peter: His Dad picked him up from school and I asked him. He’s a lawyer.
(Bobby nods.)
Mike: Well, we certainly appreciate your checking this out so thoroughly.
Peter: That’s okay. Just let me know how you want to handle it, Dad.
(He and Bobby grab a few more grapes and go upstairs.)
Alice: There they go, Howard Hughes and J. Paul Getty.
Mike: I don’t know, all those kids think about is money since they found that wallet.
Carol: And it isn’t even theirs yet.
Mike: That’s what concerns me, what’s going to happen if they get it?
(Marcia is in the family room when Greg tries to borrow something.)
Greg: I need some paper.
Marcia: Just a moment, please. When it comes to sharing in this house, there are certain selfish people in this house who don’t care to.
Greg: I always share paper with you.
Marcia: Not when it’s green, has numbers on it and you find it in a wallet!
Greg: Come on, Marcia.
Marcia: You don’t share with us, stingy, we don’t share with you.
(She takes her books and moves to another room. Peter is in the bathroom combing his hair and Jan comes in.)
Jan: Just what do you think you’re doing?
Peter: Trying to figure out how my hair looks best.
Jan: Combed out all over your face.
Peter: Very funny.
(Peter switches to Jan’s brush.)
Jan: Now, what do you think you’re doing?
Peter: I told you, I’m trying to figure out how my hair looks best.
Jan: I mean, you’re using my hairbrush.
Peter: I always use your hairbrush.
Jan: Not any more, Mr. stingy.
(She puts her hand out for him to give it back.)
(Cindy is on the patio and Bobby comes to join her.)
Cindy: Want a piece of licorice?
Bobby: Yeah!
Cindy: I bet you do.
(She walks away. Mike and Carol see this from inside.)
Carol: It seems to me that things are getting slightly out of hand around here.
Mike: I’m with you, and I’m going to do some straightening out, pronto.
(The kids are in the family room sitting down, awaiting a lecture from Mike and Carol.)
Mike: This is rapidly becoming a house divided and you should all be ashamed of yourselves.
Carol: And all because of something you don’t even have.
Mike: Your mother and I share our good fortunes. We share it with all of you.
Carol: Every day.
Mike: It’s about time you pull yourselves together and call a truce to this civil war, and that’s an order.
Greg: Please, Dad, just a minute. (He and the boys whisper to each other) Okay, we’ll share.
Marcia: You really mean it?
Greg: Yeah.
Peter: Me too.
Bobby: Not me. (Greg and Peter nudge him) All right, I’ll share.
Carol: A very wise decision.
(She and Mike leave.)
Mike (to Carol): Well, boys might as well learn at an early age that girls are going to cost them money the rest of their lives.
Carol: Oh!
(Back to the family room with the kids.)
Marcia: Thanks Greg, for sharing.
Jan: You too Peter, and Bobby.
Peter: Heck, even six ways, it’s a lot of money.
Marcia: Yeah.
Greg (getting up): Hey, wow!
All the rest: What?
Greg: It just came to me why Dad called this big meeting.
All the kids; Why?
Greg: He must think we’re going to get the money.
(They all get excited.)
(In the next scene, Mike is in his den when he gets a phone call.)
Mike: Hello. Yeah, this is Mr. Brady. (He starts laughing) $150 down? No, I’m afraid you got the wrong Mr. Brady. Mr. Greg Brady? Just a moment. (He yells) GREG!
Carol (coming in the den): Mike, guess who was just at the back door.
Mike: Who?
Carol: One of Peter’s friends. Peter offered to buy his 10 speed bike form him.
(Greg comes in.)
Greg: Yeah, Dad.
Mike: Greg, phone for you. A Mr. Greg Brady has been pricing cars.
Carol (annoyed): Cars?
Greg (on the phone): Hello. Yes, sir. Well, you see, I haven’t got the down payment yet.
Mike (grabbing the phone from him): No.
Greg: Why don’t we just forget it sir, sorry.
(He hangs the phone up.)
Carol: What in the world is going to be next around here?
Cindy (coming in): Can I have a stamp, Daddy? I want to send away for a horse.
Mike: Any questions? (The phone rings) We are not buying anything? (He answers the phone) Hello. Yeah, this is he. They did? That’s wonderful. Yeah, thanks sergeant. (He turns to Carol, Greg and Cindy) The owners have picked up their wallet at the police station.
Carol: Thank goodness, that is the best news I heard all week.
Greg (sarcastically): Yeah, whoopie.
(The disappointed kids are all out in the backyard.)
Marcia: Well, at least there’s one good thing about our not getting the money.
Jan: Name it.
Marcia: No income tax.
Greg: Ho, ho, ho.
Peter: What we got to do is look on the Brightside.
Greg: What Brightside?
Peter: Well, it’s better than not finding $1,100 at all.
(Greg hits him with a beach ball he was playing with. The doorbell rings and Carol answers it. It’s the rightful wallet owner, Mr. Stoner.)
Stoner: Mrs. Brady?
Carol: My name is Stoner. I just got my wallet back from the police. They gave me your address.
Carol: Oh, Mr. Stoner, I’m so happy for you. Won’t you come in, please.
Stoner: Well, just for a minute. (He comes in and Carol shuts the door) Me and the Mrs. have been doing some frantic back tracking the last few days.
Carol: Oh, I could just imagine.
Stoner: I wanted to thank your boys for turning it in.
Carol: Oh, certainly, Mr. Stoner. I’ll just call them. GREG, BOYS!
Stoner: We were driving cross-country and I pulled into that lot to fix a flat. I took off my coat, must have fallen out of my pocket. Sure was stupid not to have any identification in the wallet.
Carol: Well the important thing is, you got your money back.
Stoner: Can’t tell you, Mrs. Brady, how much it means to us. Me and the Mrs. have been saving up for this trip for years.
(The boys come out.)
Greg: Hello.
Peter: Hi.
Bobby: Hi.
Carol: Oh, Mr. Stoner, these are Greg, Peter and Bobby.
(Mike comes out of his den.)
Stoner: You’re fine, honest boys and I want to thank you, and I want to give you a reward.
(He hands Greg some cash.)
Greg: Gee, $100.
Mike: I think that’s a little too much, Mr. Stoner.
Carol: Mr. Stoner, this is my husband, Mike Brady.
Mike: How do you do?
(He shakes Stoner’s hand.)
Stoner: How do you do?
Greg: Dad’s right, this is too much.
(He hands it back.)
Stoner: Well, they got to take something. How about $50?
Mike: No, I think that’s still too much. Right, boys?
Greg: I agree, Dad.
Peter: Me too.
Stoner: Well, I’ve got to give them something. How about $20?
(Mike and the boys nod and Stoner hands it to Greg.)
Greg: Thanks, Mr. Stoner.
Peter: Thanks.
Bobby: Thank you.
Stoner: Thanks again, to all of you, from me and the Mrs.
(Carol shows him to the door.)
Peter: Bye, Mr. Stoner.
Greg: Good bye, sir.
Mike: Good bye.
Bobby: Bye.
Carol: We certainly hope you have a nice trip, Mr. Stoner.
Stoner: Thank you.
Mike: hang on to the wallet.
Stoner (laughing): I will.
(The boys sit down, looking unhappy.)
Carol: Well, what’s the matter with you guys?
Greg: What did you settle on 20 for, Dad?
Mike: Because I think it’s enough, Greg.
Greg: It’s too much. 18 is a lot easier to divide by six. (to Peter and Bobby) Let’s go.
Carol: How about those boys?
Mike: Well, it really doesn’t surprise me, honey. (He emulates Mr. Stoner’s midwestern accent) Me and the Mrs. have a great bunch of kids.
(The scene fades.)
(The final scene has Mike and Carol in their room. Mike comes out of the bathroom and into bed.)
Mike: Well, all’s well that ends well.
Carol: Did you just make that up?
Mike: Yeah, it was nothing.
Carol: Well, I still don’t think it was fair that you got the extra two cents when the kids split that $20 reward.
Mike: I was the one who took the wallet to the police station.
Carol: All for one and one for all? Was that just another great saying you made up?
Mike: What did you do? Come on, why should you share?
Carol: Well, I’m the one who gave the boys permission to play football in the vacant lot in the first place.
Mike: Okay, then you can have half of my two cents, and an extra reward.
(He kisses her and she gives back the penny.)
Carol: you can have the penny back, I’d rather have some more reward.
(They share another kiss.)
Brady Bunch Scriptman 