What Goes Up
Written by William Raynor and Myles Wilder
Bobby falls out of Peter’s treehouse. That causes him to develop a fear of heights. Hope you enjoy the script.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
MIKE BRADY
CAROL BRADY
ALICE NELSON
GREG BRADY
PETER BRADY
JAN BRADY
BOBBY BRADY
CINDY BRADY
TOMMY. Peter’s friend
JIMMY, another of Peter’s friends
TIM, another friend
(The episode begins with Peter and his friends over at their treehouse. Bobby is determined to join, much to the chagrin of Peter’s friends.)
Tim: Bobby’s still following us.
Jimmy: Boy, he sure is stubborn.
Tommy: He just won’t give up.
Tim (to Peter): Why don’t you tell him he’s too little to join our treehouse club.
Peter: Aw, he’s not that little, I mean, for a 9 year-old, and we don’t have to make him a regular member, he’s willing to be our mascot.
Jimmy: I don’t know.
Peter: He’d pay dues.
Tommy: Dues?
(The guys ponder for a few seconds.)
Tim: I guess we could use someone to clean up the tree house.
Jimmy: And pay dues.
Peter: Hey, that’s great fellas. (He calls for Bobby who was following them in the woods) Okay Bobby, we just voted you in.
Bobby: Wow, that’s great. thanks you guys.
Jimmy: Climb up to the treehouse so you can get sworn in.
Peter: Go ahead, Bobby.
Bobby: Sure.
(Bobby goes to climb while Peter looks on. Bobby slips and falls.)
Tim: he can’t even climb.
(The guys sigh in disgust. Peter goes up to an injured Bobby.)
Peter: Are you okay, Bobby?
Bobby (crying): Oh, my ankle. (Peter goes to examine it) Ow!
(The scene fades.)
(The next scene has Bobby at home, laying on Greg’s bed, with his ankle bandaged and rested on a pillow. Carol is in the room with him.)
Carol: Does it (ankle) still hurt?
Bobby: No. Gee, those guys in the treehouse club sure must think I’m a dumbhead.
Carol: Oh, not at all. This time next week, you’ll be a member in good standing.
(She pats him on the head. The next scene has Cindy and Alice in the room. Cindy is wearing a nurse’s uniform.)
Alice: If you ask me, I think it’s a miracle.
Carol: Yes, that he only sprained his ankle.
Alice: No, I mean it was a miracle that you have a doctor that made house calls.
Cindy: He didn’t even ask Bobby to stick out his tongue and say ah.
Alice: Well, that’s just when you sprain a tonsil. Come on, Florence Nightingale, you can help me in the kitchen, making hospital corners napkins on the napkins.
(Jan comes in to see Bobby.)
Jan: Hi, I thought Bobby might want a glass of ice water.
Bobby: Thanks, but I’m not thirsty.
Carol: Huh, I can’t imagine why. Let’s see, we have a glass of milk from Marcia, a glass of lemonade from Cindy, and a glass of grape juice form Peter. (to Bobby) You know, you must be a lot bigger on the inside than you look on the outside.
(Mike comes in.)
Carol: Hi.
Mike (to Bobby): Hey, Tarzan.
Bobby: Hi, Dad.
Mike (giving Carol a kiss): Hmm, how’s the old ankle?
Bobby: Okay, only it sure is boring staying in bed.
Mike: Well, here’s a little something to help you pass the time.
(He hands him a book.)
Bobby: Gee, thanks, Dad.
Carol: Well it looks like we all had the same idea. These (cookies) were from me and the cookies are from Alice. (Bobby reaches for one) And they’re for after dinner. (Mike reaches for one as well) And that goes for you, too.
Mike: Well, your Mom is right. It’ll spoil your appetite.
Carol: Well, with everybody waiting on him, I’m afraid more than his appetite is getting spoiled.
(Tiger comes in to bring Bobby something.)
Bobby: Thanks, Tiger.
Carol: I rest my case.
(The next scene has Carol in the living room.)
Alice: Well, the kitchen checks out a O.K. Mrs. Brady. Dishes are all done, floor’s all scrubbed, housekeeper’s all pooped.
(She sits down and Mike comes down the stairs.)
Carol: Alice, the kitchen floor didn’t need scrubbing.
Alice: I know, but once I get turned on, there’s just no tuning me off.
Mike: Bobby and I set a new record. Nine straight games of Chinese checkers.
Alice: The only trouble with Chinese checkers, Mr. Brady, is no matter how much you play, an hour later you just want to play again.
Carol: Mike, were you able to get Bobby off to sleep?
Mike (laying down): Yeah. You know, if he’s this restless and bored after one night, what’s he gonna be like in a few days?
Carol: Maybe we can move the television set into his room.
Mike: You know, I’ve been thinking, there’s something he’s been wanting for a long time and it would be perfect. Not only would it keep him interested but it would make a great companion for him at the same time.
(The next scene has Mike, Carol and Peter in the room with Bobby, and a parakeet that Mike got him.)
Bobby: A parakeet! Gee, thanks, Dad.
Peter: Boy, a parakeet just for a sprained ankle. Could I get an alligator if I broke my leg?
Mike: No, so don’t try it.
Carol: So, what are you going to name it, Bobby?
Bobby: It all depends. How do you tell if it’s a boy parakeet or a girl parakeet?
Carol: Well, you teach it to talk and then you ask it.
(The next scene is downstairs. Greg is helping feed the parakeet with Alice watching.)
Greg: I’m just getting some crumbs to feed the parakeet with.
Alice: The way everybody’s stuffing him, that little parakeet’s gonna be an ostrich by next week.
(She goes in the living room to pour coffee for Mike and Carol.)
Mike: I see they’re taking good care of the bird.
Alice: Oh yeah, everyone in the house is just flipped over him, her, it?
(Upstairs, Bobby is trying to teach the parakeet to talk.)
Bobby: Come on, you can say it, Polly want a cracker. Say it.
(Tiger comes in the room and barks, scaring the parakeet and making it fly downstairs.)
Bobby: Tiger, stop, you’re scaring it! Tiger, go pick on somebody your own size! (Tiger chases the parakeet down the stairs. Bobby runs down the stairs after the parakeet) Mom, Dad, my parakeet’s loose! Tiger, stop scaring my parakeet!
Carol: Where did he go?
(They find it up near the ceiling.)
Alice: Parakeet at 9 o’clock high.
(Tiger continues barking.)
Mike (to Cindy and Jan): Girls, shut the kitchen door!
Greg: Peter, Peter, get the window, quick!
(Bobby whistles to it while Tiger keeps barking.)
Carol: Tiger, be quiet!
(The parakeet flies around. Mike grabs Tiger.)
Mike: Tiger, come on, come on, come on, get you out of here. (to Jan and Cindy) Girls!
Jan (running in with Cindy): What’s all the noise?
Mike: Just take Tiger rout of here.
Cindy (petulantly): Nobody ever tells us anything.
(The bird still flies around.)
Mike: Okay, now, everybody quiet. No, everybody quiet till the bird settles down.
Carol: Here birdie (she whistles to it) Birdie, here.
Alice: Here boy, here girl.
(The bird continues to fly around.)
Mike: Nobody move. Nobody move.
Bobby: If we don’t move, how are we going to catch it?
Mike: Just leave that to old Bring ’em back alive Brady. (He moves toward the bird) Take it easy fella, or miss. Nobody’s gonna hurt you. I’m just going to take you back to your cage.
(He attempts to get it but it flies away.)
Carol: Big hunter blew it. Looks like you better take a lesson from Little Hunter.
Bobby: He flew right into my hand. I guess that proves he likes me.
Mike: Hey, that also proves your ankle is better. You came down those stairs like gangbusters.
Bobby: Hey yeah, look.
(He walks on it a little.)
Greg (running in with Peter): Hey, that’s great, Bobby!
Peter: You can come to the treehouse tomorrow and get initiated into the club.
Bobby: Hey, yeah!
(The next day, Bobby is down at the treehouse with peter and his friends. He is reluctant to climb, however.)
Tim: Come on, we haven’t got all afternoon.
Jimmy: Start climbing.
Peter: I’ll hold it (the parakeet) for you.
(Bobby attempts to climb but is too afraid.)
Tim: What are you waiting for?
(Bobby is standing there too overwhelmed with fear.)
Jimmy: Will you quit stalling?
Tommy: Go on.
Peter: Come on, Bobby. You won’t slip again.
Bobby: I know, it’s just (Pause) Couldn’t I take the oath down here?
Jimmy: Either you climb up or you don’t get in.
Tommy: Rules are rules.
Tim: What’s the matter, you chicken?
Bobby: Heck no, it’s just, well, my ankle’s starting to hurt again, that’s all. We’ll have to do it some other time.
(Bobby grabs his parakeet and starts to go home as the scene fades.)
(The next scene has Mike coming home and Peter comes home on his bike.)
Mike: Hi, Pete.
Peter: Hi, Dad. (He stops his bike) The brakes sure work neat since you fixed them.
Mike: Mmm hmm. They’re only supposed to stop the bicycle, not wear out the tires.
(He pats his head.)
Peter: Okay, I’ll watch it.
Mike: How did it go with Bobby’s initiation today?
Peter: Well, Bobby said he couldn’t climb up to the treehouse because his ankle started hurting him again.
Mike: Still sore, huh.
Peter: That’s what he says.
Mike: You sound like you don’t believe him.
Peter: Well (Pause) After the fall he took, you can’t blame him for chickening out.
Mike: Chickening out?
Peter: Well, that’s what the other guys think.
Mike: Hmm, well, what do you think? (Peter shrugs) Is that fair, Pete? After all, that’s Bobby’s ankle, you know. If he says it hurts, the least you can do is give him the benefit of the doubt. (Peter nods) Hmm, get.
(The next scene has Bobby trying again to teach the parakeet to talk.)
Bobby: Come on, you can say it, Hello Bobby, Hello Bobby. Boy, you’re sure a dumb bird. (The bird chirps sadly) Okay, I take it back.
Jan (over at the swings): Hey Bobby, I bet I can swing higher than you can.
Bobby: I bet you can’t.
Jan: I bet I can.
Bobby: Are you kidding? I can beat you easy.
Jan: Prove it.
Bobby: Okay, you asked for it.
(He gets on the swing but suddenly decides not to swing.)
Jan: Come on, what are you waiting for?
Bobby: Well, it’s no fun beating a girl. Anyway, I got more important things to do.
(He gets up and takes the parakeet and walks away. Jan is left there feeling stunned.)
(The next scene has Carol and Alice preparing dinner.)
Carol: Alice, you can put the hamburgers on any time you’re ready.
Alice: All right, Mrs. Brady, let’s see, that’s rare for you and Mr. Brady, medium rare for Jan and Peter, well done for Marcia. (Pause) it would be a lot simpler if I just pound this whole thing together into a meat loaf.
(Carol laughs. Bobby comes in with his parakeet.)
Bobby: Mom, are we having those buns with the seeds on them tonight?
Carol: As a matter of fact we are Bobby, why?
Bobby: Well, can I scrape off some to feed to my bird?
Alice: Oh, that’s some lucky bird, we eat his leftovers.
Carol: All right, you can scrape the seeds off of one bun.
Bobby: Thanks.
Carol: Hey, your ankle seems to be well now.
Bobby: Yeah!
Carol: Good, because your father going to take us on a picnic this weekend.
Bobby (excited): that’s great!
Carol: To Mount Claymore.
Bobby (worried): Mount Claymore?
(Carol nods. Bobby starts to cringe.)
Carol: you can go hiking and climbing.
Bobby: Do I have to go?
Carol: But you always loved to go there. Why, last year you were the first one to climb to the top.
Bobby: Yeah, I know. But, what’s the use of climbing on a bunch of crummy rocks? You just have to climb back down again. (Bobby takes his parakeet and walks away) It’s still a little sore.
(The next scene has Mike in his den and Greg comes in to speak to him.)
Greg: Have you got a second, Dad?
Mike: Mmm hmm. What’s on your mind, son?
Greg (after a pause): Is Bobby okay? (Mike looks at him incredulously) I mean, do you think maybe he hurt something besides his ankle?
Mike: What are you getting at, Greg?
Greg: Well, you know how he’s always pestering me to go coasting down Maple Street on our bikes.
Mike: Yeah.
Greg: Well, today I offered to let him go along and he turned me down.
Mike: Well, did he give you any reason why?
Greg: Yeah, he said his ankle was sore, and he might not be able to put on the brakes.
Mike: Well, it sounds logical to me.
Greg: Yeah, except for one thing. I offered to swap bikes, let him use mine, and mine has hand brakes. (Mike looks up) So, I figured maybe it’s not his ankle.
Mike: Hmm, you got a point there.
Alice (from the living room): Soup’s on everybody, come and get it! Let’s go gang! Girls, Marcia, Peter, Bobby!
(Cindy, Jan and Peter come down the stairs as Greg and Mike come out of the den. Bobby runs down the stairs and leaps over the bottom two steps.)
Greg: See that, Bobby’s not limping a bit.
Mike: Mmm, hmm, now I’m sure you got a point. I’m afraid Bobby’s got another kind of sprain.
(In the next scene, Carol, Mike and Alice are in the family room with Greg, discussing Bobby’s newfound acrophobia.)
Carol: Are you sure that’s the real reason he didn’t want to join the club?
Mike: Yeah, I’m sure. He won’t climb up the tree.
Alice: So he won’t climb up a tree, so what? He’s a boy, not a monkey.
Mike: It’s all part of the picture, Alice. He won’t go on the swing. He won’t go hiking in the mountains. He won’t go down the hill on his bicycle. He’s afraid of falling and hurting himself.
Carol: And the longer he avoids it, the harder it will be.
Mike: Exactly, so we have to try and help Bobby.
Greg (rising from the couch): Well how, Dad?
Mike: Greg, remember last season, when you got hit with a baseball during batting practice?
Greg: Yeah.
Mike: What happened?
Greg: It hurt.
Carol: I think your Dad means what did the coach make you do?
Greg: Get right back in the batter’s box so I wouldn’t lose my nerve.
Mike: Which is exactly what we have to do with Bobby, get him off the ground.
(Greg is walking on stilts in the backyard when he sees Bobby with his bird.)
Greg: Hi, Bobby. How’s the weather down there?
Bobby: Gee, where did you get the stilts?
Greg: I made them. pretty good, huh?
Bobby: I’ll say. Terrific.
Greg: You want to try them? It’s easy. You just climb up and start walking.
Bobby: No, thanks.
Greg: Aw, come on, give it a try. Once you get up here, you can see right into the Liston’s yard.
Bobby: What’s so special about that? I can see it right through my bedroom window.
(Bobby picks his bird up and walks away. Next, Mike sets up a ladder when he sees Bobby with his bird. He starts to climb and hammer to get Bobby’s attention.)
Bobby: What are you doing, Dad?
Mike: Uh, hey Bob, shutter’s loose on the hinge. I need a screwdriver, would you bring it up to me, please? (Bobby seems to stall) It’s in the toolbox in the kitchen. Will you bring it up?
Bobby: Sure, Dad, right away.
(He hurries into the house while Mike continues to hammer. He absent-mindedly hammers the shutter off its hinge.)
Mike: Hey Bobby, hurry up, I really need that screwdriver! Bob?
(Bobby brings it to him from inside the window.)
Bobby: Here you are, Dad.
Mike: Thanks a lot.
(Next, Carol, Mike and Greg are out in the backyard with a trampoline. Peter, Jan and Cindy come running out.
Peter: Hey, I’m great at this.
Jan: Oh boy, these are really fun. Oh boy, this is fun.
Cindy: It’s stringy enough.
Jan: It looks brand new.
Mike (whispering to Greg): If this trampoline doesn’t work, then I don’t know what to try next.
Greg: It better work, after all the trouble we went through just to borrow it.
Carol: Oh well, who’s gonna be the first to try it.
Peter: I will!
Jan: Oh boy, we have one just like it in school They’re a blast.
(Peter gets on and starts jumping around.)
Carol: Hey, go get ’em, Chris.
(NOTE: That was meant to be Peter, whose name is real life was Chris Knight.)
Alice: You’re pretty good at that.
Jan: Hey, that’s great! Come on, higher, higher!
Carol: Be careful. That’s high enough, I think. (She turns to Mike) Mike.
Mike: Hey, that’s good.
Carol: Yeah, isn’t he good?
Cindy: Good one.
Jan: Yay, Peter.
(They all clap.)
Carol: Be careful.
Greg: Stay in the middle.
Jan: Let somebody else try it. Come on.
Alice: You’re pretty good at that.
(They see Bobby watching from upstairs.)
Mike (to Carol): How we doing?
Carol: Well, so far so good. At least he’s interested enough to watch.
Mike: Yeah.
Jan: Come on, Pete.
Cindy: Come on, don’t you start.
Jan: Hey, that’s good!
Carol: Okay.
(Peter gets off.)
Jan: I’m next.
Cindy: No, I am!
Mike: Come on, you can both be next if you’ll hold hands and be careful.
Cindy: Okay.
Jan: Come on, Cindy.
Carol: Now Jan, remember, you’re bigger than Cindy.
(They both get on and hold hands and start jumping.)
Jan: Oh, oh!
Carol: Now Jan, you’re bigger than Cindy, not so high.
(The girls laugh and continue jumping.)
Mike: That’s it, good, girls.
Alice (to Carol): Is he (Bobby) still watching?
Carol: Yeah, he’s up there with that parakeet.
Alice: If that bird talks him out of it, I’ll pluck him.
Greg: Be careful, you two.
Carol: Jan, remember, you’re taller. Why don’t you give Cindy a chance now?
Jan: Okay, okay. Whoa, I almost fell off!
Carol: Take it easy now. (She turns to Cindy) Okay honey, go.
(Cindy starts to jump up and down.)
Carol: Careful. Not too high.
Greg: Can you do any tricks?
Carol: Can you do any tricks?
(She gets on her knees and then does a flip.)
Jan: Yay!
Carol: Cindy, that was great.
Jan: Real good.
Greg: Be careful. (to Jan) Why don’t you give it a try, Eve.
(Note: Jan’s real life name was Eve Plumb.)
Cindy: Can we do it again?
Mike: When everyone else has a turn. (He looks up to Bobby) Bobby, you want to come down and give it a try?
(Bobby ponders for a moment and shakes his head no.)
Carol (whispering): I was sure he’d come down when he saw that even Cindy wasn’t afraid.
Alice: Maybe he’d change his mind if the worst coward in town tried it.
Mike: Who’s that?
(Alice raises her hand and gets on, with help from Mike and Carol.)
Carol: Okay, Alice, push.
Mike: Be careful.
Alice (landing on the trampoline): Whoops!
Carol: Come on, come on, Alice.
Alice (getting up): Okay, now.
Carol: Now, be careful.
Alice: I’m all right. I’ve done this a lot.
Carol (skeptical): Where?
Alice: The Y.W.C.A.
(Alice starts jumping up and down with everyone cheering her on.)
Carol: Alice!
Jan: Come on, Alice, that’s great!
Peter: Yeah!
Jan: Wow!
(Alice continues to jump around.)
Mike (to Carol): I think she’s getting to him (Bobby).
Carol: Keep it up, Alice, keep it up.
(Alice jumps around some more with everyone cheering her on.)
Alice: I can’t stop.
Mike: That’s .54 on the Richter scale.
(Alice leaps off and is caught by Mike.)
Jan: Alice!
Alice: Whoa! I’m sorry about that, Mr. Brady.
Mike: That’s all right, Alice, drop in any time.
Carol: Oh, you’re in good shape.
Mike (looking up): Uh-oh.
(Bobby takes his parakeet and starts walking away.)
Mike: So much for operation bounce back.
Carol: Oh.
(The next day, Tiger scares Bobby’s parakeet out the window.)
Bobby: Tiger! Stop! (He and Tiger go over to the window) Now look what you’ve done. (He runs down the stairs) mom, Dad! Tiger chased my parakeet out the window! We’ve got to catch it!
(He runs through the kitchen and almost bumps into Alice, who is carrying a bunch of plates and cups.)
Alice: Hey, what’s the hurry?
(Carol and Mike run by her as well)
Carol: Excuse us, Alice.
Mike: Pardon me, Alice.
Alice: A trampoline isn’t enough, now I got to be a juggler.
(Bobby goes outside to the backyard and whistles for the parakeet. He sees it in the tree and then climbs the swing set to get it. This helps him overcome his fear. Carol and Mike come out and are amazed.)
Bobby (to the parakeet): Tiger didn’t mean to scare you. It’s all right. I’m coming for you. (He takes the bird with his finger.) It’s okay, you’re safe now.
Mike: Take it easy, Bobby.
Carol: Careful dear.
(Greg and Peter come out.)
Greg: What’s going on?
Peter: Hey, look at Bobby.
Mike (pointing up to Bobby): How about that?
(They watch in admiration as Bobby safely holds his bird. Alice, Jan and Cindy come out.)
Alice: How did he get up there?
Mike: He climbed, naturally.
Carol: He was too worried about his parakeet to think about himself.
(Bobby looks down and smiles.)
Cindy: Boy, he’s a hero.
Bobby (to his parakeet): Hear that, bird? I’m a hero.
Peter: Hey, you want to try to become a member of the treehouse club tomorrow?
Bobby: I’m not sure. (Mike and the guys look at him with disbelief) It’s not much of a climb you know, it ought to be a lot higher.
(He smiles and the rest of the family laughs. The scene fades out.)
(The final scene has Bobby pumping air into his bicycle as Mike and Carol come home in their car.)
Bobby: Hi Mom, Hi Dad.
Carol: Hi honey.
Mike: What are you doing here? You should be in the treehouse with the rest of the fellows.
Bobby: I quit.
Carol: You quit? Why?
Bobby: All they do is sit around and talk while I sweep and clean the place.
Mike: After all, you are the mascot, you know.
Bobby: I’m going to build my own treehouse and have my own club.
Carol: Really, what are you going to use for members?
Bobby: Well, I’ve already got two of them. (Tiger comes out while holding his parakeet cage with his teeth) Come on, Tiger.
(He rides off on his bike with Tiger and the parakeet following him.)
THE END
Brady Bunch Scriptman 