Grand Canyon Or Bust
Written by Tam Spiva
The Bradys are stranded in a ghost town en route to Grand canyon. Will they make it out of there alive? Let’s find out. I hope you enjoy the script.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
ZACCARIAH T. BROWN, prospector in ghost town
(The episode picks up where we left off. The Bradys are still stranded in the ghost town, with Mike and Peter off to find help. Carol narrates the previous episode’s highlights, followed by flashbacks.)
(I hope Mike gets back soon with help. When we started out for Grand Canyon, who ever thought it would end like this. We all had so much fun driving along. Our mistake was stopping in this ghost town and meeting that old prospector. He seemed harmless enough, until he locked us in the jail because he thought we were gonna steal his gold claim, then he drove off in our car. We finally managed to break out of the jail, but we were still stranded without a car, food or water. And that’s when Mike and Peter left to get help. What if we’re stranded here?)
Carol: Well look, Alice, we’re not doing nay good just sitting around, why don’t we do something to try and get help.
Alice: Like what?
Carol: Well look, you round up the kids and, well, I’ll think of something.
(The scene fades. The next scene has Greg and Bobby entering an old shop.)
Bobby: Boy, I bet we can find lots of loose boards for the signal fire in here.
Greg: Yeah, listen, why don’t we… (He notices an old phone) Bobby, look at this.
Bobby: Think it works?
Greg (trying it out): Nah. (He figures out) Maybe it could. (He shows Bobby wires) Bobby, you see these wires? this phone ran off a battery of those kind. I think we can fix it. Come on.
Bobby: Where we going?
Greg: To get all our flashlight batteries and some tape.
(They leave the shop while Carol and Cindy fetch for water.)
Carol: Well, one thing’s for sure, Cindy, if we’re going to be stranded here in Cactus Creek, we’re going to need some extra water. (They stop at a pump) Here.
(She hands her a bucket.)
Cindy: Do you think there’s any water in this thing?
Carol: Well, they used to get water out of it. We won’t know until we give it a try, will we? Okay.
(She uses the pump to put water in the bucket.)
Cindy: Let me help, Mom.
Carol: Okay. At a girl.
(They keep pumping and Carol thinks they are succeeding.)
Carol: Hey, we really got it going.
(Alice, Carol and Marcia are trying to put something on the ground to catch the attention of an airplane.)
Alice: Let’s hope an airplane flies over.
Marcia: How can we possibly spell out help on the ground? It’s too hard!
Alice: The sun has baked this ground as hard as one of my biscuits. (Betsy, the donkey, lets out a bray) If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
Marcia: What we need is one of those whatchamacallits. You know. (She makes a blumming sound and gesture) A jackhammer.
Jan: Hey, I just remembered, I saw an old plow down the street.
Alice: A plow? Plow?
(She gets an idea. Alice and the girls act friendly to Betsy, hoping she’ll plow the word help for them. However, she seems to be un-co-operative.)
Jan: Come on, Betsy, please?
Alice: Stubborn old goat.
Marcia: She won’t move, Alice.
Alice: We’ve got to plow the word help.
Jan: But if Betsy won’t pull the plow, how are we going to get it pulled?
(Next, they show Alice pulling the plow, with Marcia and Jan behind her. She doesn’t succeed.)
Alice: Okay kids, you can put me out to pasture. I’ve had it. (Betsy brays again) i know just how you feel, honey.
(Marcia and Jan help her get up. Meanwhile, Carol and Cindy are still at the water pumper.)
Cindy: I think it’s coming, Mom.
Carol: Yeah! Good old H20! (The pumper lets out dust) Yep, good old H20.
Cindy: We’d better collect wood for the signal fire.
Carol: Yeah, I think you’re right.
(She pours the dust from the bucket to the ground. Greg and Bobby put batteries in the old phone.)
Greg: I hope this works. (He puts the last battery in) This is it.
Bobby: You going to try it now?
Greg: Yeah. Boy, now I know just how Alexander Graham Bell must have felt. Here we go.
(She dials and hears it ring.)
Bobby: Is it working?
Greg: Yeah, yeah, I hear it ringing.
(Cindy hears a phone ringing when she goes inside to collect wood. She picks the phone up.)
Greg (yelling): Help us, please help us! We’re trapped out here in the desert in a ghost town!
Cindy: That’s funny, so are we.
(A confused Greg hangs up the phone. We next see Bobby and Cindy carrying over some wood for the fire.)
Carol: That’s it. Bring it right over here. Swing it around, Bobby, that’s it. Hold on to it, that’s it. Just be careful, now. Put it down carefully. There we go. Okay, well, I guess we better light this fire and hope somebody sees the smoke.
(They hear a horn beeping and see it’s Mike, who returned with Peter and Mr. Brown. All the kids cheer.)
Carol: Mike, what happened?
Mike (getting out of the car): Well, it’s kind of difficult to explain. I think Mr. Brown better tell you.
Brown: Well, I’m terribly sorry if I, uh, gave you a turn, ma’am. It’s just that I figured you were going to jump my gold claim and I wanted to get it to town to file it before you did. I was coming back, honest I was.
Mike: That’s true, honey. We met him on the road coming back.
Brown: Now don’t be too hard on me, ma’am, I’ve just been worried sick about this gold claim I’ve been digging here for years. I haven’t dug enough gold to fill a tooth on a prairie dog.
Carol: Well, I guess all is forgiven.
Brown: Well, I’d better be… oh, before I do, for the use of the automobile, I’m going to give you 10% of my claim.
Mike: Look, that’s not necessary, like I said before, we don’t want your gold.
Bobby: Sure we do, Dad.
Brown: Sure, sure, all legalized. Now, it’s signed and everything. All you got to do is fill in the details, that’s all. I’ll be on my way.
(The whole family bids him good-bye as he takes off with Betsy.)
Greg: What does it say?
Carol (disappointed): Hey, there’s just an X here, only an X.
(They all laugh.)
Brown: Come on, Bessie, let’s go. Come on, there. We’re going to hit it yet. Don’t worry.
(He waves good-bye to them once again.)
Carol: Well, I guess we can get going again, huh?
Alice: Yeah, good-bye, ghost town. Hello, Grand Canyon.
(All the kids cheer and they get in the car. They drive along singing Clementine. They make a stop as Bobby goes to the bathroom. As they get closer to the canyon, they are greeted by a young, attractive attendant.)
Attendant: Hi. (She hands Mike an entry pass) Have a good time.
(They all bid her good-bye and continue. They arrive at the campsite.)
Bobby: Is this it? Is this it?
Cindy: Do we see it here?
Carol: No, this isn’t it, either. This is where we park our trailer and make our camp.
(They drive a little further, finally arriving.)
Cindy: When do we see it?
Bobby: Is this it? Is this it?
Carol: Yes everybody, on the right. This is it.
(They marvel at how beautiful and exciting it looks.)
Mike: Okay, we’ll pull up here and stop and take a closer look.
(They all get out of the car and see the canyon from the top.)
Mike: Hang together.
Carol: Now, kids.
Carol: Wait! Now, don’t get too far ahead, kids! Wait for us! Come on, Alice.
Peter: Look at this great place. You can see everything here.
(They all take a look from the top and are greatly amazed.)
Bobby: Boy, this really is it.
Greg: Wow, would you look at that.
Marcia: I never imagined it would be this beautiful.
Carol (to Jan): Do you know what the Indian name for Grand Canyon means?
Carol: It means mountains lying down.
(Jan examines the canyon a little closer.)
Jan: That’s just what it looks like, mountains lying down.
Carol: It’s one of the seven natural wonders of the world.
Peter (pointing): Hey, look, Dad. There’s water down there.
Greg: That’s the Colorado River. That’s what dug the whole canyon.
Mike: Just think of it, thousands of years of constantly running water did all that.
Peter: Wow, no wonder you don’t like us to leave the water faucets dripping.
(Greg and Mike laugh. Alice reads something to Bobby and Cindy.)
Alice: And the guidebook says it’s 218 miles long, it’s 18 miles across at its widest point and it’s over a mile deep.
Bobby: Wow, a mile deep.
Cindy: How could they measure it?
Bobby: Easy, just grab a tape measure and jump.
(Bobby pretends to jump over the railing. Alice stops him.)
Jan: I wish we didn’t have to sleep at the campground, I’d kind of like to sleep right her eon the rim.
Carol: Well, that sounds very nice, but I wouldn’t want to wake up on the wrong side of the bed.
(They both laugh.)
Mike: Come on, everybody, there’s a lot more to see, and remember now, let’s all stay together. Grand Canyon is a mighty big place.
(They all start to move on.)
Mike: Help you, Alice?
Alice: I can manage, thank you.
(Next, they are driving by a railroad station.)
Bobby: Boy, that’s a real old looking railroad station.
Marcia: That must have been built in the 1800s.
Greg: Probably 1870.
Alice: 1881. (Everyone looks at her) That was from the guide book, I was not a passenger.
(They all laugh. They come to another side of the canyon.)
Carol: Hey, come on everybody, here’s another great view of the canyon. It’s beautiful.
Mike: I’m going to take a group picture. Everybody line up against the wall.
Carol (to the kids): Daddy’s going to take a picture.
Mike: Get together. Alice, look this way. Smile! (He snaps the camera) Got it.
(Next, they see the Indians doing the rain dance.)
Cindy: Are those real Indians?
Carol: Of course they are, they’re Hopi Indians.
Marcia: Isn’t the dancing exciting?
Jan: Yeah, it’s real mysterious, too.
Alice: Oh, it’s not so mysterious. I’d dance like that too, if I was barefoot on a hot rock.
Bobby: What are they dancing for?
Mike: It’s a rain dance, Bob. A long time ago that’s how they used to pray for rain.
Peter: Do you think this rain dance stuff really works?
Greg: Nah, they just do it for the tourists.
(Just then, it started to rain. The next morning, they wake up to the sun shining.)
Mike: Look at that sunrise.
Carol: Gorgeous. Oh, did I sleep last night.
Marcia: Me too. Isn’t the air beautiful?
Greg: I’ll bet our lungs are wondering what happened to all the smog.
Mike: Well, let’s get going. We’re going to the bottom of the canyon this morning.
Alice: Ooh, that’s great. I didn’t know you could drive down there.
Carol: You can’t, Alice. We’re going down on mules.
(Alice looks down at the distance and gets worried.)
Mike: What’s the matter, Alice? You’re afraid of mules?
Alice: Oh, no, I’m not afraid of them, I’m, I’m allergic to them.
Alice: Well, at least part of me is.
Carol (to the family): Come on.
(They all go to take their trip down the canyon and the scene fades.)
(The next scene has the family preparing to go down the canyon on mules.)
Mike: All right everybody, remember, do exactly what the muleskinner says.
Alice (to her mule): I’ll do what the muleskinner says if you will. Is that a deal? (The mule gives no response) I’m the boss. Okay, take it easy, wait a minute. (She manages to get on but backwards) Hey, where did everybody go?
(The next scene shows the family going down the canyon. They finally make it down and Mike and the boys are setting up camp. Greg and Peter are coming out of the tent.)
Greg: Well, you and Mom are set now.
Mike: Yeah. Well, listen, we better go and set up the cooking gear for Alice now, okay?
Peter: Aren’t the girls going to do any work?
Mike: Peter, after dinner, when it’s time to do the dishes, we men are going to get even.
Greg: Yeah, well, make sure they don’t forget it. Come on, Pete. The sooner we finish this, the sooner we can go exploring.
(Mike offers them some wter.)
Mike: Want some?
Greg; No, thanks.
Mike: Oh, wait a minute. Listen, I’ve already reminded the rest of the kids. This isn’t a playground down here, you know. It’s a wilderness that could be dangerous so you stay inside of camp and don’t go wandering off, okay?
Greg; We will, Dad. Come on, Pete.
(Carol and Alice are putting sleeping bags in their tent.)
Carol: That’s two. (He hands Alice another sleeping bag) That’s three. (She puts another one in) And that’s…
Alice (emerging from the tent): It, Mrs. Brady! We’re wall to wall sleeping bags in here now.
Mike (coming up to Carol): Well, you all, squared away?
Carol: Well, we’ve taken care of the girls and the boys are gonna sleep outdoors.
Mike: Yeah? Well, what do you think of Yatahay flats?
Mike: Yatahay. Indian word, means hello or welcome.
Alice: Oh, that’s good to know. It’ll come in handy if I happen to bump into Tonto.
(Mike and Carol laugh.)
Mike: Well, what do you think?
Carol: Well, I can’t think of any other place I’d rather be.
(She hugs Mike.)
Mike: You can’t, huh, Well, it’s all yours for the next three days. That’s when the muleskinner comes back with the mules to take us back up.
Alice: Three days, huh.
Carol: Now Alice, you didn’t really mind that mule ride, did you?
Alice: Oh, no, Mrs. Brady, I didn’t bother me at all. In fact, just toward the end I was really beginning to break my stride. I better start getting dinner ready.
(Alice walks off and her butt is seemingly sore form the ride.)
Carol (laughing): Poor Alice, I better give her a hand with dinner.
(She joins Alice and her butt has the same effect.)
Mike (laughing to himself): Poor Alice, poor Carol.
(He walks to the tent with the same result.)
(Bobby is looking for dinosaur fossils. Cindy joins him.)
Cindy: What you looking for?
Bobby: A dinosaur fossil.
Cindy: What’s a dinosaur fossil?
Bobby: It’s a real old animal, it’s real big and it’s hard as rock.
Cindy: Bet they make rotten pets.
Bobby: They’re not alive anymore, they’re just bones.
(Cindy gives a seething look as they move on to find more.)
Bobby: Come on, Cindy.
(They run into Jimmy, an Indian boy.)
(Jimmy runs away.)
Cindy: Gee, an Indian boy.
Bobby: Come on, let’s follow him.
(They chase after Jimmy. Meanwhile, the rest of the family is back at camp. Greg comes running back in hysteria after he unsuccessfully tries to find them.)
Greg: Dad, I can’t find them anywhere, I looked and yelled for them, and there’s no answer.
Mike: Didn’t I tell you kids not to wander away from camp?
Carol: Where do you suppose they could be?
Mike: Oh, honey, I don’t know. Well, why don’t we divide up into groups and we’ll go look for them. Greg, you and Jan go with your Mom. Peter, you and Marcia come with me. Alice will be here in case they come back on their own, okay? (a little more sternly) Remember, you stay with your groups, right?
Greg: Come on.
Carol: Mike, it’s going to be dark soon.
Mike: Don’t worry, we’ll find them, come on.
(Meanwhile, Bobby and Cindy give up on Jimmy and realize they need to go back.)
Bobby: Wow, he just disappeared.
Cindy: Maybe we better go back now, it’s getting dark.
(He tries to figure out how to get back.)
Cindy: Don’t you nw the way back?
Bobby: Sure I do. Didn’t we come that way? (He points to one direction but is unsure) Maybe it was that way. I guess I don’t know.
(Meanwhile, Mike, Peter and Marcia are trying to find them.)
Peter (calling): Bobby!
Peter: It’s like they just disappeared.
Mike: Maybe your mom’s found them. (He calls) Bobby!, Cindy! Come on, kids.
(Bobby and Cindy are wandering around aimlessly.)
Cindy: I’m tired. (to Bobby) This is all your fault, you wanted to chase after that Indian boy.
Bobby: How was I supposed to know we’d get lost? Don’t worry, Cindy. Things are beginning to look familiar, our camp is that way.
Cindy: We already went that way.
Bobby: Maybe we went this way. Come on.
(Mike is still looking for them with Marcia and Peter.)
Marcia: Bobby!, Cindy!
Peter: What is it, Dad?
Mike: Well, I’m a little worried about the time.
Marcia: It’ll be night soon, won’t it?
Peter: If it gets any darker, we’ll never find them.
Marcia: All right, easy kids, Come on, let’s keep looking.
(Carol, Greg and Jan are also looking for them.)
Carol: Bobby! Cindy! (She notices how long and far the canyon is.) Oh kids, please, answer. Please answer.
(Cut back to Mike, Marcia and Peter.)
Mike: Bobby! Cindy!
Peter: I hope they didn’t fall off a cliff or something.
Marcia: They couldn’t have fallen off a cliff, we’re at the bottom of the canyon.
Peter: Well, if we don’t find them soon, we’ll freeze out here.
Mike: Oh Peter, nobody’s going to freeze out here, it doesn’t get that cold. Besides, we’re going to find them anyway. Now, let’s keep on looking and think positive.
Marcia: Right, Dad.
Peter: I hope they didn’t run into a mountain lion.
Mike; Come on, come on.
(Bobby and Cindy are still wandering around, not knowing where they are.)
Bobby: Don’t cry, Cindy. We’ll get out of here.
Cindy: Maybe there are wild animals around here.
Bobby: Maybe there aren’t.
(The scene fades.)
(The final scene has the rest of the family still looking for Bobby and Cindy.)
Mike: Bobby! Cindy! Come on, kids.
Carol: Bobby! Cindy!
(The camera shows Bobby and Cindy sitting on a rock, hopeless of being found.)
END OF PART 2