S3 E11 Click

Click

Written by Alfred Lewis Levitt and Helen Levitt (Tom and Helen August)

Greg joins the high school football team but after a rib injury becomes the team photographer. I hope you enjoy the script.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

MIKE BRADY

CAROL BRADY

ALICE NELSON

GREG BRADY

MARCIA BRADY

PETER BRADY

JAN BRADY

BOBBY BRADY

CINDY BRADY

LINETTE CARTER, Greg’s girlfriend

COACH of football team

(The episode begins with Greg riding home on his bicycle with a football in his hand. He heads to the house but then he stops and ponders for a minute. He sits down and Bobby comes over.)

Bobby: Greg, can you help me? You know all about cameras.

Greg: What’s the matter?

Bobby: Well, the last picture I took was number seven. I guess I turned it too hard because it went all the way past eight. The next number coming up is nine.

Greg: So?

Bobby: So I don’t want to miss a picture. I spent my whole allowance on that film. How do I get it back to eight?

Greg: You can’t get it back to eight.

Bobby: Boy, some camera expert you are.

(Greg gets up, puts the football down and gets ready to go inside.)

Greg: I might as well get it overwith.

(He goes in the house to speak to Carol, who is in the kitchen with Alice.)

Greg: Mom, I have something important I want to tell you.

Carol: What is it?

Greg: Well, uh,uh, I’m very hungry.

Carol: Yes.

Greg: Well, that’s it.

Carol (to Alice): I’d say he has more on his mind than food.

Alice: I’d say you were right.

(Greg goes back outside and Mike comes home.)

Greg: Hi, Dad.

(He tosses the football to him.)

Mike: Hi, son. What did your mother say?

Greg (sheepishly): I didn’t tell her yet.

Mike: Hey, I thought that was then first order of business right after breakfast.

Greg: It slipped my mind. You know, rushing around, trying to get to school on time.

Mike: You could’ve told her after school.

Greg: Well, it got kind of late by then. Besides, I thought I could use a little…

Mike: A little help?

Greg: Yeah.

Mike: Come on, we’ll tell her together.

(They walk into the house together as the scene fades.)

(In the next scene, Mike and Greg enter the house and see Carol.)

Carol: Oh, hi, honey. Hi, Greg.

(She and Mike kiss.)

Mike: Hey, something smells good in the kitchen.

Carol: Yeah, it’s meat loaf.

Mike: Oh.

Greg: Yeah, sure smells good. Real good.

Carol (to Greg): Is something wrong?

Mike: No, no, honey, nothing’s wrong. It’s just, uh, uh, well, Greg has something he wants to tell you.

Greg: Dad, really, I think it would be better if maybe you told her.

Mike: No, you tell her. It’s all right.

Carol: Something is wrong. I should have known when you tried to tell me before.

Mike: No, honey, believe me, nothing is wrong.

Greg: Honest. In fact, it’s kind of great.

Carol (sarcastically): Oh yeah, it’s so great that both of you are too chicken to tell me what it is.

Greg (sheepishly): Well, Mom, it has to do with football.

Carol: What?

Greg: Football. I guess you don’t know much about football.

Carol: I do too. That’s that game on TV that you and your father watch where all those great big guys try to kill each other. What about football?

Greg: Well, you see, I made the football team at school.

Mike: Honey, the coach says he’s a natural flanker back.

Carol: Oh no, no son of mine is going to play football with those two ton monsters.

Mike: Oh honey, the football players you see on television, those are pros. We’re talking about high school football.

Carol (shaking her head): Oh no, Mike. I don’t care if you’re talking about kindergarten.

Mike: Oh Carol, the coach wouldn’t pick Greg to be on the team if he didn’t think he was up to it. He’s not going to take any unnecessary chances with the boys.

Greg: Yeah Dad, and tell her all the great things football does for you.

Mike: Right. He’ll learn the importance of teamwork, of being part of a team.

Greg: Yeah, teamwork.

Mike: Learn how to win gracefully.

Greg: Yeah, win gracefully.

Mike: Lose with dignity.

Greg: And lose with (Pause) What do you mean lose?

Carol: I’m sorry Greg but football is out.

Greg: Mom, a guy can get hurt right in his own home. Like falling in the bathtub.

Carol: Oh sure, but he doesn’t have two other guys in the bathtub with him trying to knock him down.

Mike: Carol, I think you’re being overly concerned about this. Gosh, uh, thousands of kids play football every week.

Carol: Well.

Mike: Hmm?

Carol: Maybe you’re right. Does this really mean so much to you, Greg?

Greg: Yeah it does, Mom.

Carol: Well, okay. (Pause) But it doesn’t mean I’m still not gonna worry.

(Greg kisses her.)

Greg: Thanks, Mom. (She starts to leave the family room) Thanks, Dad.

Mike: You’re welcome. (to Carol) Oh, come on, honey, don’t worry. He can take care of himself.

Carol: Why couldn’t he go out for something like the debating team?

Mike: Because you’d be afraid he’d sprain his tongue.

Carol: Now, that isn’t nice.

(They hug each other. Alice is in the kitchen writing a recipe on the board. Jan and Cindy watch.)

Cindy: I thought it tasted like lemon.

Jan: No, it tasted more like lime to me.

Alice: How do you like that? The best cake I ever created, and I go and forget my own secret recipe.

Jan: Well, I’ll keep thinking, Alice.

Cindy: Me too.

Alice: Thanks, girls.

(They leave and Greg comes in the kitchen.)

Greg: I’ve got it, Alice! This time I’ve really got it!

Alice: Well whatever it is, don’t give it to the rest of the kids.

Greg: It’s a football play. It’s a variation of a L-out pattern.

Alice: What’s a L-out pattern?

Greg: Let me show you what I mean?

(He erases Alice’s recipe to demonstrate the play.)

Alice: Oh, nooooo.

Greg: Oh, was that something important?

Alice: Oh, no, Just a recipe that’s going to remain as big a mystery as the Sphinx.

Greg: Oh, Alice, I’m sorry.

Alice: No problem. Now, what’s this about a L-out pattern?

(Greg writes on the board.)

Greg: This is the offensive team here, okay. (He writes a bunch of x’s) And this is the defensive.

(He writes a bunch of o’s underneath the x’s.)

Alice: Oh, my money’s on that team (the o’s) Those little guys are never going to be able to be able to get through the big fat fellows.

Greg (laughing): No, the circles just mean that’s the defensive team. And I got this play worked out where this guy fakes a handout over here to this guy. This guy comes out for the L works great on the blackboard. I just wish I could find some players to try it out with.

Alice: Oh, I’ll volunteer. I don’t know much about football, but I do know that I personally can fill out two or three of those circles.

(Greg punches Alice lightly on the shoulder. She and Greg go outside and play a game with Peter and Bobby, while the girls look on from the swing set and cheer.)

Alice: Okay, team, this is a L- out pattern, Greg Brady version, on two. Let’s go, okay. Hut 1, Hut 2

Bobby: Hike!

Alice: Fake! (to Greg) Now, go long, go long, go long!

(Greg runs to catch the ball but Mike, who is coming in the driveway, catches it.)

Mike (shouting): Interception!

(Alice gives him the okay sign. Next, Greg’s girlfriend. Linette, a cheerleader, is outside showing Greg some new cheers.)

Linette: Should I do all the cheers, Greg?

Greg: You don’t have to say the words, just make all the moves so I can get some action shots.

Linette: Okay.

(She makes her cheers while Greg takes pictures of her. Carol and Alice look on from the kitchen, where they are washing dishes.)

Alice: Now that’s what I call one of the fringe benefits of high school football.

Carol: That’s Linette Carter, one of the cheerleaders, isn’t she darling?

Alice: Any way you look at her. She seems to have a bit of a crush on Greg.

Carol: Well, I’d rather have him crushed that way than on a football field.

(Linette finishes her cheers while Greg takes more pictures.)

Linette: I don’t even do this many routines in a whole football game.

Greg: Let’s take a break. I think I got some good shots.

Linette: I didn’t know you were an expert at the camera.

Greg: Oh, well, it’s just a hobby. And besides, the way you look in that outfit, the pictures can’t help but come out good.

Linette: I stopped by to watch football practice the other day, and you looked pretty terrific in your uniform.

Greg: That’s just the shoulder pads and things. Say, after the game this week, would you like to go over to the pizza place with me?

Linette (flattered): I’d love to.

Greg: Great! And afterwards, maybe we can go back to the victory dance.

(Bobby comes over.)

Bobby: Hey Greg, if you fix my camera, I’ll take a picture of you.

Greg: Some other time, Bobby.

Bobby (to Linette): I’m Bobby, Greg’s brother.

Linette: Hi.

Greg: This is Linette, and we don’t want our picture taken right now, okay?

Bobby: How do you know, you didn’t even ask her.

Greg: Bobby, go do your homework.

Bobby: I did it.

Greg: Will you run along?

Bobby (to Linette): Listen to him, just because he’s on the football team.

Linette: When he’s a big hero, we’ll be lucky if he even remembers us.

Bobby: He’s got to remember me. I live here.

(The next scene has Greg coming home from school. He sits down in the kitchen to have a banana.)

Greg: Hi, Mom.

Carol: Hi, Greg, how was practice?

Greg: Oh, fine.

(She notices a bruise on his arm.)

Carol: Did you (Pause) Greg, you’re hurt.

Greg: Oh, Mom, that’s only a small…

Carol: That is the worst bruise I have ever seen in my life. Now that is why I am so nervous about you playing football.

Greg: That’s not from practice. I did that when I bumped my arm in math class.

Carol: Oh, does it hurt?

Greg: No, but I’ll be glad to quit math if you think it is too dangerous.

Carol: Oh, you’re terrible.

(The next couple of scenes shows Greg on the field playing. Then we see him in the locker room studying some plays. The coach comes in to speak to him.)

Coach: I thought you’d be dressed and out by now, Greg.

Greg: Oh, hi coach. No, I’m just running over a couple of these new plays. I really want to make first string.

Coach: I know you do, son. Now, come on, get out of here. First practice game of the season’s tomorrow, remember?

Greg: Like, how could I forget?

Coach: I expect my first string players to get home and get plenty of sleep tonight.

Greg (excited): First string?

Coach: That’s right, Greg, you’re starting tomorrow.

Greg: Far out!

Coach: Well, don’t get too excited about it. It’s just a practice game until the regular season begins now. Every spot on the team is open. You’ll have to fight plenty hard to keep it.

Greg: Will I ever.

(He cleans out his locker and later is at home studying more plays. He also has pictures of Linette on the desk. Bobby comes in.)

Bobby: Greg, can I talk to you for a minute?

Greg: Sure, Bobby, but keep it short. I got a lot of new plays to learn.

(bobby picks up one of Greg’s pictures of Linette.)

Bobby: See that?

Greg: Yeah, so?

Bobby: How come you take such good pictures and I take such rotten ones?

Greg: There are a lot of reasons, Bobby. But you take good pictures for a guy your age.

Bobby: But I want to take good pictures for a guy your age. Every time I take a picture, everybody comes out looking dumb.

Greg: That’s because you try and pose them. Next time, take a picture when they’re not expecting it. Then they never look stiff, they look natural.

Bobby: Yeah, I get it! Thanks, Greg.

Greg: Anytime.

(bobby starts to leave, then turns around.)

Bobby: Oh, Greg.

(He turns and Bobby takes a picture of him. Greg smiles.)

(The next scene has Alice and Marcia in the kitchen. Marcia makes a face after eating a radish.)

Marcia: Yuck, these radishes are bitter! (Bobby comes in and takes a picture of Marcia making a sour look) Hey, that’s not fair! I was making a face!

Alice: Oh, come on, honey. Where’s your sense of humor? (Bobby then takes a picture of Alice with flour on her face) Bobby, I look awful!

Marcia: Where’s your sense of humor, Alice?

(Next, Jan and Cindy are in the bathroom. Jan is helping Cindy braid her hair.)

Cindy: Not so tight!

Jan: Sorry.

(Bobby opens the door from his side of the room and takes their picture. That night, the boys are sleeping in their room. Bobby wakes up and calls to Peter.)

Bobby: Hey, Pete! Peter!

Peter (barely awake): Huh?

Bobby: There’s something I got to tell you.

Peter: Can’t it wait?

Bobby: No, it’s very important.

(Peter turns over and looks down at Bobby. Bobby takes a picture of him.)

(The next day, Greg and his team are playing a game. The coach and two other players bring an injured Greg into the locker room.)

Greg: Coach, really, I’m fine. I just got the wind knocked out of me. It’s nothing. I’m ready to go back in.

Coach: You let me be the judge of that, huh? (to the other players) You guys better get back to the game.

Greg: Thanks.

Coach: Now, lift up that jersey, I want to take a look at those ribs.

Greg: Okay. (He lifts it up) See, nothing but a bruise. Just a little red.

Coach: Yeah, it might be a bruise. And it might be something more. Well, there’s no sense taking a chance on it just for a practice game.

Greg: But, coach…

Coach: Now, I’m gonna have those ribs x-rayed before I let you suit up for the opening game Friday.

Greg: Look, really, I’m fine.

Coach: Don’t argue about it, Greg. I’m going to call your parents. I think they should run you down to your own doctor.

Greg: My parents. (Pause) Please, coach, call my Dad.

Coach: Okay, your Dad.

Greg (withering in pain): Oh, no.

Coach: See what I mean. Those ribs are pretty painful, aren’t they?

Greg: Coach, the ribs are nothing. It’s telling my mother that’s gonna be painful.

(The scene fades.)

(In the next scene, Carol is on the phone with her friend Martha when Greg and Mike return home from the doctor.)

Carol: Yes, Martha, I know. Yeah, okay, I will. Look, I have to go now, I’ll call you later. Bye. (She hangs up) Hi, honey. Hi, Greg.

Mike: Hello, sweetheart.

(She gets up and they kiss.)

Carol: How come you’re home so early?

Mike: Well, honey, uh…

Carol: I know. You were playing hooky to watch Greg’s football game.

Mike: No, not exactly.

Carol (looking at her watch): That was an awfully short game, wasn’t it?

Mike: Look, Carol, if you’ll let me explain…

(Greg goes to sit down and holds his sore ribs.)

Carol: Greg, what’s the matter?

Mike: Greg injured his rib.

Greg: It’s nothing, Mom. the doctor says I’m fine.

Carol (upset): The doctor? You had to see the doctor?

Greg: See Dad, I told you she’d make a big deal out of it.

Mike: Well, look, son. A fractured rib isn’t exactly a little deal.

Carol (almost hysterical): A fractured rib?

Greg: Just a hairline fracture!

Carol: A fracture is a fracture.

Greg: But I can still play, the doctor even said so.

Carol: Mike, did he really say that?

Mike: Well, if he says if he wears a rib protector of some kind, he could possibly play, but there’s still a risk of a break.

Greg: Dad, he said only a slight risk. And only if I get hit in the exact same spot.

Carol: Uh uh, I’m sorry, Greg.

Greg: Mom, do you know the chances of getting hit in the exact same spot?

Carol: Yes. Zero, because you’re not playing football.

Greg: Oh, Mom, that’s…

Mike: I’m afraid I’m with your mother this time.

Greg: Dad, I finally made first string.

Mike: Well, let’s wait until the doctor says the rib is completely healed.

Carol: Right!

Greg (frustrated): But I’ll miss the opening game!

Mike: Greg, if you get hurt again, you’ll miss all the rest of the games.

(Alice comes out.)

Alice: Dinner’s ready. And I’ve got a surprise for you. Barbecued ribs. (they all look at Alice uncomfortably) I thought everybody liked ribs.

(They all go to dinner. Later on, Greg is in his room practicing throws and seeing how his ribs are. He finds it pretty painful. Bobby comes in from the bathroom.)

Bobby: My pictures are dry, you want to see them?

Greg: Some other time, Bobby, all right?

Bobby: Please, just look at this one?

(He shows him the picture of Marcia.)

Greg (sarcastically): She’s going to love that.

Bobby: Here, look at the rest of them.

(He shows him the pictures of Jan and Cindy. Then the ones of Peter and Alice.)

Greg: They’re great, Bobby.

Bobby: Coming from an expert like you, that’s a real compliment.

(Bobby leaves the room. Marcia and Jan come in from the bathroom.)

Marcia: Greg, are you guys finished developing the pictures in there? We want to wash our hair.

Greg: Yeah, we’re finished.

Jan: Then, could you get your junk out?

Greg: Okay, okay.

(He goes into the bathroom with them.)

Marcia: You got so much junk in here!

Jan: Why don’t you take this stuff down to the laundry room.

Greg: Because Alice told me to take this stuff up here to the bathroom.

(Mike comes in the room just as Greg moves his equipment to the room.)

Mike: Did you get evicted again?

Greg: Yeah, every time someone wants to shampoo their hair or wash some clothes.

Mike: Greg, I suppose you think I let you down.

Greg: Dad, there’s such a thing as being too cautious.

Mike: Well, I think it’s a matter of viewpoint. You wanted to play so badly, you were willing to take the risk, we weren’t. You can understand that.

Greg: I guess. But that football team means a lot to me.

Mike: Well, look. Maybe you can find another way to help them.

Greg: Sure, I can become the water boy, or equipment manager. The stuff guys do who can’t make the team.

Mike: All right. Those guys are making a contribution too, and they’re having fun at it.

Greg: Dad, did you ever the cheering section give a yell for the water boy? I doubt it.

Mike: Is that why you want to play football? For the cheers?

Greg: Dad, that’s not what I mean. It’s, it’s just that if I can’t play, I don’t want any part of it.

Mike: Aw, Greg, you remember what we told your mother when she decided to let you play? Teamwork? Win gracefully? Lose with dignity?

Greg: Yeah, I remember.

Mike: All right. That wasn’t just a snow job, you know. I meant that. And I thought you meant that, too.

Greg: I did!

Mike: Okay, now you lost something. Take it like a man.

(Peter comes in the room.)

Peter: Phone call for Mr. Greg Brady.

Greg: Who is it?

Peter: I didn’t ask, but she sure sounds pretty.

(He laughs.)

Greg: If it’s Linette, I’m about to get dumped.

(Mike laughs and slaps Greg’s butt as he leaves the room. He is later on the phone downstairs in the living room.)

Greg: Yeah, I know I was supposed to call, Linette. It’s just that you get busy and stuff.

Linette: Well, I was wondering why I didn’t hear from you. I just wanted to make sure your ribs were okay.

Greg: Yeah, I’m okay. It’s just that I didn’t think you’d want to waste time on an ex-football player.

Linette: Wow, that’s really insulting.

Greg: Insulting? What do you mean insulting?

Linette: You must think I’m a very shallow, superficial kind of person. If I like somebody just because he’s on the football team.

Greg: I didn’t mean it that way. I guess I just wasn’t thinking. Honest.

Linette: Well, okay. I’ll see you at the game on Friday. Right?

Greg: Well, I wasn’t figuring on going to the game.

Linette: Why not?

Greg: I just didn’t feel like it, you know what I mean?

Linette: Well, I guess. I thought you could sit by the cheerleaders, and we could watch together.

Greg: Maybe some other time, okay?

Linette: Or you could take some more pictures of me. You know, giving cheers at a real game.

Greg: Let me think about it, Linette.

Linette: Okay, good night, Greg.

Greg: Good night.

(They hang up. The next day, the kids are leaving for school. Alice gives Marcia, Jan and Peter their lunch.)

Alice: Okay, these are all alike.

(They all say good-bye.)

Carol: Have a good day, kids.

Peter: Bye, Mom, Bye, Dad.

(Carol and Mike say good-bye and Bobby and Cindy come out.)

Alice: Now, listen, you two guys. Eat your own lunches, will you? And don’t go trading off with the other kids. It makes me feel unwanted.

Bobby: Unwanted? Your sandwiches get more trade-ins than anybody else’s in the whole school!

Alice: Really?

Cindy: Yeah, once I traded one of your peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a turtle!

Alice: Thanks. That’s a real compliment.

(They start to leave.)

Carol: Good-bye kids, have a good day.

(She gives them kisses and they say good-bye to the parents. Greg comes out.)

Greg: Good morning.

Carol: Good morning, Greg.

Mike: You gonna take pictures at school today?

Greg: Oh, just some of Linette leading cheers at the game today.

Carol: Oh, I’m glad you decided to go.

Greg: Well, Linette asked me to go, you know.

(He takes his lunch and leaves.)

Mike (getting up from his seat): Well, I’ve got to run myself. Good-bye, sweetheart.

(He kisses her and Bobby takes a picture. He was hiding behind the kitchen counter.)

Bobby: Boy, what a mushy picture this is gonna be.

(He runs. We next see the game at school. Back at home, Alice is writing a new recipe.)

Alice: Got it! (Bobby sneaks in and takes another picture) The phantom photographer strikes again.

(Greg and Peter come in from the game.)

Alice: Did you win?

Greg: No, they did. 7 to 6.

Peter: We got gypped. the referee made a rotten call!

Alice: What happened?

Greg: I didn’t see the play, I was taking pictures of Linette.

Peter: Well, I saw the play. Our guy caught a pass for a touchdown, and I still say it was inbounds.

Alice: And the referee said it was out?

Peter: Yeah, it’s like this. The score is 7-6, their favor.

Alice: Yeah?

Peter: It’s the last seconds of the game.

Alice: Last seconds?

Peter: And the only chance we have is a long pass. (He takes a banana to demonstrate) And they knew it, so they red dogged.

Alice: What’s a red dog?

Peter: I’ll show you.

(He runs over and erases the blackboard.)

Alice (frantically): No, no, no, not the blackboard!

Peter: Was it something important, Alice?

Alice: Just a recipe that’s been handed down from generation to generation, ending with this one.

(Later on, Greg is hanging up some pictures of Linette to dry. Mike comes in to see him.)

Mike: Hi, son.

Greg: Hi, Dad.

Mike: Peter told me the bad news.

Greg: Aw, the referee made a rotten call.

Mike: What was the score?

Greg: 7 to 6.

Mike: These are the shots you took of the game?

Greg: Yeah, some pictures of Linette doing her cheerleading stuff. I wanted to get them ready so I can give them to her tonight.

Mike: Hey, these are pretty good.

Greg: Thanks.

(Mike looks at one of them.)

Mike: Hey, now that’s a really good shot. A good action shot.

Greg: I should’ve been watching the game on that one. That’s the play that lost it for us, and that’s our pass receiver.

Mike: Oh, yeah. That looks like a good catch. You know, if you enlarge this, you might be able to tell if this was inbounds or not.

Greg: Yeah, yeah, Dad, let’s blow it up.

(They go into the bathroom, which they turn into a darkroom. Greg re-develops the picture.)

Greg: Hmm, you still can’t tell if this foot’s inbounds.

Mike: Blow it up some more.

(Greg develops it again.)

Mike: Aw, there’s no doubt about it, Greg. He was inbounds.

Greg: Boy, I bet the coach would love to see this. Can I borrow the car, Dad?

Mike: Come on, I’ll drive over with you.

Greg: Okay.

(The next scene has Greg and Mike returning. Carol greets them in the kitchen.)

Carol: Well, Greg, what did the coach say? Is your team gonna win now?

Greg: Ah, it’s pretty hard to challenge a judgment call, Mom. But I think it’ll give the coach some good ammunition to fight with.

Mike: Yeah, he was pleased about the picture. But go ahead and tell your Mom the real news.

Carol: The real news?

Greg: Well, Mom, I’m back on the team?

Carol: You’re what?

Greg: As official photographer.

Mike (laughing): Greg’s gonna photograph the games so the coach and team can study it later.

Greg: Yeah, I get a movie camera, a press pass, the whole works.

Carol: Well, thank goodness, that way you won’t get hurt.

Greg: Unless…

Carol: Unless what?

Greg: Unless I get a broken eyelash through the view finder.

Carol: Unless I break something else first!

(Mike and Greg laugh as the scene fades.)

(The final scene has Alice trying to figure out the recipe to her cake, but without any luck. Greg is sitting down drinking milk.)

Alice: It’s no use. It’s lost forever.

Greg: Hang in there, Alice.

(Bobby comes in with his camera.)

Bobby: Hey, Greg, here’s the picture I took of Alice. Is it okay?

Greg (laughing): That is funny. Alice, you should see the expression on your face.

Bobby: Better not show it to her, she won’t like it.

Alice: Uh, let me see that, young man.

Bobby: Promise you won’t get mad?

Alice: I promise, but I don’t promise to keep the promise. (She takes one look at the picture) Bobby!

Bobby: You’re mad.

Alice: I’m not! I love it! It’s the best picture you ever took in your life!

Bobby: It is?

Alice: Well, not of me. But you got a picture of my secret recipe on the blackboard in the background!

(She gives him a big hug and gets ecstatic that she can see every ingredient.)

                                THE END