S3 E18 The Big Bet

untitled anybody home

The Big Bet

Written by Elroy Schwartz

Bobby wins a bet with Greg and gets to boss him around for a week. Hope you enjoy the script.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

MIKE BRADY

CAROL BRADY

ALICE NELSON

GREG BRADY

MARCIA BRADY

PETER BRADY

JAN BRADY

BOBBY BRADY

CINDY BRADY

RACHEL, Greg’s girlfriend

(The episode begins with Bobby riding home on his bike. Then he runs in the house excited.)

Bobby: Mom, Alice! Mom, Alice! Mom, Dad, Alice!  (He starts to run up the stairs) Mom, Dad! Is anybody home?

Greg (calling): Bobby, I’m on the phone!

(Greg is in the family room, talking on the phone.)

Greg: Yeah, Rachel, I met you in the school cafeteria the other day. No, I wasn’t spaghetti and meatballs, I was barbecued ribs. Right, I was sitting right across from you.

(Bobby runs in the family room.)

Bobby (excited): Greg, guess what happened! I chinned myself five times!

Greg: I got brown hair, blue eyes…

Bobby: Greg, didn’t you hear me? I chinned myself five times.

Greg (to Bobby): Can’t you see I’m on the phone? (He gets back on the phone) I didn’t get a chance and talk to you because I had to go to basketball practice.

Bobby: Yeah but I, I was the only kid in my class who could do that many chin-ups.

Greg: Hold on a second. (to Bobby) That’s pretty good for a kid your size, but not now, I’m on the phone. (He gets back on the phone) Sorry, Rachel. Listen, I have to get over to the library now, I’ll call you again tonight, okay, bye.

(He hangs up.)

Bobby: I’m gonna keep practicing. By the end of the week, I’ll be able to chin myself 7 or maybe 8 times, that’d be pretty good.

Greg: Yeah, that’d be pretty good.

Bobby: Pretty good? It’s sensational!

Greg: let’s not get carried away, I can do twice as many chin-ups but I don’t go yelling my brains out about it.

Bobby: I bet you a million dollars you can’t do twice as many chin-ups as I can.

Greg (laughing): I wish you had a million dollars.

Bobby: Then I’ll bet you a thousand.

Greg: Stop being ridiculous.

Bobby: You’re just chicken, you won’t bet me because you know you’ll lose.

Greg: Bobby, keep it cool.

Bobby: Then bet me. By the end of the week, you can’t do twice as many chin-ups as I can.

Greg: Okay, wise guy, you got yourself a bet.

Bobby (pondering): What do you wanna bet?

Greg: I know, you have to do everything I tell you to do for a whole week.

Bobby: Okay, and if I win, you have to do whatever I tell you.

Greg (confident): Right.

Bobby: It’s a bet, shake on it.

(They shake hands as the scene fades.)

untitled the bet

(The next scene has Bobby working out with dumbbells and Peter comes by.)

Peter: Come on, I’ll play you a game of 21.

Bobby: I can’t, I got to train for my big bet with Greg.

Peter: What kind of bet?

Bobby: The loser has to do whatever the winner tells him for a whole week.

Peter: A whole week? Wow, what did you bet on?

Bobby: By the end of the week, I bet he can’t do twice as many chin-ups as I can.

(Bobby puts down the dumbbells and goes over to the weight.)

Peter: How many can you do?

Bobby: How do I know? It isn’t the end of the week yet.

Peter (noticing the weight): Hey, that looks pretty heavy.

Bobby: Don’t worry, I can lift it.

(Bobby tries to lift the weight but finds it much heavier than he thought. Peter looks at him with pity. Mike comes home.)

Mike: Hello!

(He notices the mail on the living room end table. He picks it up and goes through it.)

Carol: Hi, honey.

Mike: Hi, sweetheart. (They kiss) Anything good in here?

Carol: No, just a few bills.

Mike (handing them to her): Here, you can have those.

Carol: Oh, thank you.

(Mike notices an envelope.)

Mike: Hey, here’s something from my old high school. It’s the old alma mater.

Carol: They want their diploma back.

Mike: Very funny. Let’s see. (He opens it an dreads it) A-ha, I am formally invited to the 20th reunion of my graduating class Saturday night.

Carol: Oh, that’s great. We’re free Saturday.

Mike: High school, wow, that’s going way back. I wonder if Smasher Duran will be there.

Carol: Smasher?

Mike: Yeah, we had a bunch of great nicknames. Smasher, Tiger, Porky, Flathead.

Carol (laughing): Did you have a nickname?

Mike: Hmm, let’s plan on going.

Carol: You did have one, what was it?

Mike: That is something you will never find out.

Carol: Oh, I will too, I can just ask every one at the reunion.

Mike: Oh, Carol, you wouldn’t do that.

Carol: Well, of course I would.

Mike: Yes, I think you would. Hot Lips.

Carol (laughing): Hot Lips? Why in the world would they call you Hot Lips?

(The next scene has Greg in his room reading. Marcia comes in to speak to him.)

Marcia: Greg, can I borrow your dictionary?

Greg: Sure, help yourself.

(Marcia takes it and then stops.)

Marcia: How come you’re not out doing pushups or something?

Greg: For what?

Marcia: the bet you made with Bobby.

Greg (laughing): Are you kidding? I don’t have to train to do twice as many anything as Bobby.

Marcia: When you win, I hope Cindy learns a lesson from this too.

Greg: Cindy?

Marcia: Yeah. little brothers are not the only ones who can be a pain in the neck. (She mimics Cindy) Marcia, I can make my bed faster than you. Marcia, I can get dressed faster than you. I wish I thought of making the bet with her.

Greg: it wasn’t my idea. Bobby insisted on betting me. I got some interesting stuff planned out for that little character.

Marcia: Nothing too rough I hope.

Greg: Of course not, nothing too rough. On the other hand, nothing too smooth either.

(They laugh and Marcia leaves the room. We cut down to the den, where Mike and Carol are looking through his old yearbook.)

Carol: What is that?

Mike: Oh, I dug out my old high school yearbook.

Carol: Can I see it?

Mike: Yeah, believe those senior class pictures.

Carol: Oh, I’m gonna see if I can find you.

(She looks through the book and then laughs.)

Mike: You found me.

Carol: Yeah, I found you. You were so thin, didn’t your mother ever feed you?

Mike: I couldn’t eat.

Carol: Why?

Mike: Well, my whole senior class year, I had a wild crush on a girl named Bobo.

Carol: Bobo?

Mike: Yeah, you should’ve seen her (Mike describes her with hand gestures) That was just her head.

Carol: Oh. You never told me about Bobo.

Mike: Didn’t I? That was just her nickname. She’s right in there.

(He tries to point her out.)

Carol: Oh, no. Let me see if I can to find her.

Mike: What, of all the girls in my senior class.

Carol: I know what you like.

Mike: I’ll give you three chances and I’ll bet you still can’t find Bobo.

Carol: It’s a bet.

Mike: Are you serious?

Carol: Absolutely, and I won’t even need three chances, just one. What do we bet?

Mike: How about the same bet that Greg and Bobby made. For one week, the loser has to do whatever the winner says.

Carol: You have got yourself abet, Hot Lips.

(They shake. Bobby is outside working with the dumbbells some more. Alice comes out with an exercise shake.)

Alice: Hi, how about a vitamin break. (Bobby puts down the dumbbells) This stuff will put muscles on your muscles.

Bobby: Thanks, Alice. What’s in it this time?

Alice: If I told you, you wouldn’t drink it.

(Bobby takes a sip and gives a nauseous look.)

Bobby: I’m not drinking it anyway.

Alice: Well, okay, but Greg always used to drink this stuff when he was trying out for the football team, said it made him strong as a horse.

(Bobby takes it back and Alice walks away. bobby still doesn’t like the taste of it. Next, Mike comes out and sees him working out with the dumbbells and weights some more.)

Mike: Hey, that’s pretty good.

Bobby: thanks, Dad.

Mike: You don’t want to overdue it and hurt yourself though, you know. Listen, when you’re through with that exercise, try this one, okay. (he shows him another way to use the dumbbells, by moving it from his right arm and back) Like that, see. That’ll help develop your deltoid muscle.

Bobby: Gee, I didn’t even know I had a deltoid muscle. Where is it?

Mike: Right there. (He points to this shoulder) that’s your deltoid, these are your triseps, those are your biseps, and there’s your spectrum.

Bobby: Boy, I’m loaded with muscles.

Mike: Yeah, well, you’re gonna have to be in shape to beat Greg, he’s pretty good, you know.

Bobby: I’m gonna be better.

Mike: Well, maybe, but you’re gonna have to go all out to prove it, hmm.

(He pats Bobby’s head and walks away. Next, he is stretching himself on the swing set. Marcia comes over to discourage him.)

Marcia: I don’t know why you’re knocking yourself out, Bobby. Greg can beat you with one hand tied behind his back.

(We cut to the boys’ room, where Greg is shining some shoes. Bobby enters.)

Bobby: Hi.

Greg: Hi.

Bobby: I’ve really been working out, you know.

Greg: Yeah.

Bobby (enthusiastic): Yeah. Wanna feel the muscles in my arm.

Greg: Nope.

Bobby (sternly): It’s only fair to tell you that I’m up to 7 chin-ups now.

Greg (sarcastically): Seven, wow.

Bobby: I was thinking, a guy shouldn’t take advantage of his own brother.

Greg: He shouldn’t, huh?

Bobby: No, and if you wanted, I’d let you out of the bet, if you wanted.

Greg: Are you kidding? No way. By this time next week, you’ll be doing this for me.

Bobby: Well, you had your chance.

(Bobby leaves and Greg gives a smug look. next, the family is in the backyard, with Bobby doing chin-ups.)

Mike: Eight.

(The family cheers Bobby on a she continues.)

Cindy: Keep on, Bobby, you can do it.

(The other kids continue their cheers.)

Greg: I think this is his last one.

(Bobby does another chin-up.)

Mike: Nine.

Carol: Oh, Bobby, be careful. Don’t overdue it.

(Bobby does yet another chin-up.)

Mike: Ten.

Peter: Come on, Bobby, I’m routing for you.

(Greg gives him an annoyed look. Peter winks at him and Bobby continues with the family’s encouragement.)

Jan: At a boy, Bobby.

Mike: Eleven.

(Bobby goes for another chin-up, but this time, he falls.)

Mike: 11. You ought to be proud of yourself, son.

Carol: That’s over twice as many as you did last week.

Marcia: Good try, but he’s still gonna lose.

Bobby: Oh yeah, only if Greg can do 22 pushups.

Alice: I think I should have bottled that energy juice I gave him.

(It is now Greg’s turn to do chin-ups. Carol counts down how many.)

Peter: Come on, Greg, I’m routing for you.

(bobby gives him a dirty look as Greg continues with Carol counting.)

Carol: 18, 19.

(Greg struggles to do more.)

Marcia: Come on, Greg, you can do it.

(Greg falls and Bobby starts cheering.)

Bobby: I won! I won!

(Greg looks at him with disbelief and the scene fades.)

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(The next scene has Greg shining a bunch of shoes.)

Alice: I thought only flies had six feet.

Greg: I wish he was a fly, I’d swat him.

Alice: By the way, a fly sends a message. After he gets through shining his shoes, he’d like to have you wash his sneakers.

Greg (annoyed): Wash his sneakers?

Alice: Yeah, you can either throw them in the washing machine or put them on and take a shower.

Greg: Oh, that little…

Alice: I’d suggest taking a shower. It might help you cool off at the same time.

(We next see Greg throwing away garbage. Marcia and Jan approach him.)

Marcia: Will you be finished soon?

Jan: We have to go to the library before it closes.

Greg: What’s that got to do with me?

Marcia: You’re driving us.

Greg (laughing): I’m not driving you to the library.

Jan: Yes you are, Bobby said so.

Marcia: We’ll wait in the car.

(They walk away laughing and we next see Greg fixing bobby’s bicycle. Peter and Cindy come up to him.)

Peter: After you finish that, Bobby said to sandpaper his skateboard.

Greg (bitterly): Do you know what you can tell Bobby?

Cindy: Sure, that you’ll do it.

(That evening, Greg has a glass of milk and a piece of pie. Alice comes up to him.)

Alice: Hold it, that was the last piece and Bobby decided he wanted it.

(Greg makes a bitter hand suggestion. Mike and Carol are in their bedroom with Carol looking through his yearbook.)

Carol: Hmm, I wonder what Bobo can be a nickname for. Let’s see, Bernice Sheer, Bernice. Bobo?

(Mike is laying down with his eyes closed. He smiles.)

Mike (whispering): Sally. (Carol looks over him curiously) Hmm, Sally.

Carol: Sally. Oh no, but how could Bobo stand for Sally?

Mike (whipering): Betty.

Carol: Betty? (She looks up) Betty, Betty Bobo.

Mike: Zelda.

(Carol picks up her pillow and hits him with it.)

Carol: Oh, Michael Brady, that’s terrible! (She hits him three times) And that’s form Sally, that’s for Betty and that’s for Zelda.

(Next, Greg is on the phone with Rachel.)

Greg: Yeah Rachel, it’s great seeing you at school. But I still wanna take you out. Well, what about a movie tomorrow night? Yeah, the drive-in. It’s a good double bill, uh, a science fiction and a western. Great, great, Rachel. Well, I’ll pick you up about 7. Bye.

(He hangs up and Bobby comes in the room.)

Bobby: Sounds good to me.

Greg (annoyed): What sounds good to you?

Bobby: A double film.

Greg: Exactly what does that mean?

Bobby: I’m going with you.

Greg (getting up): No way.

Bobby: Remember the bet?

Greg (very upset): Look, I’ve taken out the trash for you, and I hosed off the patio for you. I shined your shoes, made your bed, cleaned your bike, I even let you beat me at checkers because you told me to. But that’s it, that’s it. Understand.

Bobby: You have to do whatever I tell you, that’s the bet.

Greg: It didn’t include taking you on dates.

Bobby: It didn’t include not. (Greg refuses to back down) You welcher, I’m gonna go tell Mom and Dad!

(He goes out to the kitchen and Greg angrily follows.)

Bobby: Mom, Greg is trying…

(Greg starts protesting at the same as Bobby, and Carol can’t understand either of them.)

Carol: Hold it, hold it, one at a time.

Greg: I got a date with Rachel!

Bobby: Greg’s closing on our bet, he won’t take me to the movies!

Greg: And he thinks he can go on with me!

Bobby: It was a bet!

(Mike comes in the kitchen.)

Mike: Hey, what’s all the racket?

Greg: Dad, this has nothing to do with the bet…

Bobby: Dad, he won’t…

(They continue to argue at the same time.)

Mike: Hold it! I didn’t hear anything either one of you said.

Carol: That’s the third time I heard it and I still can’t figure it out.

Mike: Bobby.

Bobby: Greg is going to the movies to see two neat pictures, and he won’t take me.

Greg: I got a date with a new girl and I don’t want (pointing at Bobby and saying bitterly) the All-American kid tagging along.

Bobby (angry): Our bet was the loser has to do everything the winner tells him, EVERYTHING!

Greg; I’ve done everything else, but dates are different!

Carol: Greg, if I remember correctly, the bet did include everything.

Greg (seething): Not dates.

Mike: Now look, Greg, this might seem a little rough, but when you make a bet, you have to be prepared to pay off. Okay, maybe next time you’ll remember, no bet is a sure thing.

Greg (bitterly): Yeah, I’ll remember, all right. Okay, okay, I’ll just call off the date.

Bobby: It’s okay with me. I don’t care if she comes along or not.

Greg (angry): Listen, Mr. Chin-up king. I’ve done everything you asked, fair and square. There’s no way, no way are you going on my date with Rachel.

(The next scene has Greg and Rachel in the car, watching the movie. Bobby is in the back seat.)

Bobby: You’re blocking my view.

(Greg and Rachel move away from each other and then Bobby moves up towards the front.)

Bobby: I want some more popcorn.

Greg: You already had three bags.

Bobby: Then I want some pizza.

(Greg gets out of the car.)

Greg: I’ll be back, Rachel.

(Bobby moves into the driver’s seat.)

Bobby: Boy, you can really see better from up here.

Rachel (weakly): Uh-huh.

Bobby: Neat movie, isn’t it.

Rachel: Yeh, real neat.

Bobby: Having fun, huh.

Rachel: Uh, we’re having a ball.

Bobby: You see, I told Greg if I came, you wouldn’t mind.

(Rachel gives him an incredulous look. Greg comes back with Bobby’s pizza.)

Greg (to Bobby): Here’s the pizza you ordered. (Bobby scoots over between Greg and Rachel) And that’s all the food you get, our bet had nothing to do with me going broke.

Rachel: Greg, wouldn’t it be nice if Bobby got in the back seat to eat his pizza?

Greg: Yes, that’d be nice.

Bobby: Okay.

(He gets in back. Greg shuts the door and the horn goes off.)

Greg (to Bobby); Shh!

Bobby: I didn’t do that.

(They settle down to watch the movie as Greg starts putting hios arm around Rachel.)

Bobby: Want some pizza?

Greg: No.

Bobby: How about you, Rachel? It’s real good, pepperoni and onion.

Rachel: Uh, no thank you.

Bobby: You guys don’t know what you’re missing.

Greg: We know what we’re missing.

(Greg puts his arm around Rachel again and Bobby again interrupts them.)

Bobby: You’re blocking my view again.

Greg: Come on, Bobby,  stop fooling around. You’re not even watching the movie.

Bobby (freshly): Neither are you.

Rachel: I’ll tell you what, why don’t we all watch the movie.

(They all settle down once again to watch the movie, then Bobby comes up with another idea.)

Bobby: It’s warm in here. Put the top down.

Greg (extremely annoyed): Put the top down? Now look, Bobby.

Rachel: You might as well do it, Greg.

(Bobby nods as Greg abides to his wishes. The horn goes on as he does so and then they watch the movie again. Suddenly, Bobby takes out an umbrella.)

Greg: What do you think you’re doing?

Bobby: it might rain. You wouldn’t want sweetie pie to get wet, would you?

Greg: Now you’re just being a wise guy. Put that umbrella away!

Bobby: I told you, it might rain.

Greg: Well, if it might rain, I’m putting the top back up.

(Greg puts the top back up but it crushes the umbrella and the top puts a hole in the top of the car.)

Greg: Now you’ve done it, wait till Dad sees this.

(The next scene has Mike and Carol returning home from the reunion. They settle the bet.)

Carol: Well, I didn’t know anybody there but I really had a good time tonight.

Mike: Yeah, some reunion.

Carol: Oh, boy.

Mike: Ahem, hem, well.

Carol: Well what?

Mike: Come on, it’s time to settle our bet. Which one was Bobo?

Carol: Well, she was one of the women there tonight, right?

Mike: Right, right.

Carol (pondering): Well, let’s see, now.

Mike: Come on, come on, no stalling. You got plenty of time.

Carol: Well, okay, I’ll take a wild guess. (Mike laughs) Irene Henselross.

Mike: That’s right, how did you guess that?

Carol: Simple deduction. Number 1, I know what you like. Number 2, I know what you don’t like, and Number 3, she came over and introduced herself and said you used to call her Bobo.

(They hear the car pulling in.)

Carol: Oh, Greg and Bobby must be back.

Mike: I wonder how their big date with Rachel came out.

(Outside, Greg shows his parents the damage caused to the top of the car.)

Greg: I figure it will cost about 150 bucks for anew top, dad.

Mike: Well, that’s great, that’s just great.

Carol: Bobby, How could you do that?

Bobby: I’m sorry. I guess I’m what you call a little stinker.

Greg: A little stinker?

Bobby (angry): A big stinker! I’ll pay for the new top, Dad.

Mike: Well, as Greg said, you know, a new top is gonna cost about $150 dollars.

Bobby: Well, Greg said he’d pay me a dollar a week to do his chores.

Carol: Oh, great, you’ll be doing his chores for three years.

Bobby: That’s okay, I deserve it.

Mike: Well, we’ll discuss the financial arrangements later. I,I hope you learned something from all this.

Bobby: I sure have. For one thing, I’ll never bet on anything again. Even if you win, you lose.

Carol: is that all?

Bobby: If I can boss anyone around again, I’ll never be mean.

Mike: Well, that’s good, anything else?

Bobby: Oh yeah, I almost forgot the most important thing.

Mike: What’s that?

Bobby: Well, when you go to a drive-in movie in a convertible, never bring an umbrella.

(He walks away as Mike, carol and Greg try to suppress their laughter. The scene fades away.)

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(The final scene has Mike and Carol in their bedroom. Carol is laying down and Mike is about to get into bed but Carol wants him to do some things for her.)

Carol (sitting up): Honey, I think I’d like to read, would you please get me my book? It’s over there on the dresser.

Mike: I just got into bed.

Carol (pinching his cheek): Bobo.

(He gets up and gets the book. He hand sit to her as he returns.)

Carol: Thank you.

Mike: Anything else while I’m up?

Carol: No, not that I can think of.

(He gets under the covers and they smile at each other. Then she finds she needs to sneeze.)

Carol: Oh, honey, I think I need a tissue. Would you get one for me? They’re right over there.

Mike: Bobo?

Carol: Yeah, Bobo.

(He gets up to get the tissues. He goes back and gives her one.)

Carol: Thank you.

Mike: Anything else?

Carol: No. no. That’s all. (He gets back in bed.) There is one other thing.

Mike: Now what?

Carol: you didn’t kiss me good night.

Mike: Do I have to?

(She pinches the sides of his mouth as they kiss good night.)

                                 THE END

untitled greg, bobby and rachel

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