The Fender Benders
Written by David P. Harmon
Carol has a minor accident with her car which eventually lands her in court. Hope you enjoy the script.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
MIKE BRADY
CAROL BRADY
ALICE NELSON
GREG BRADY
MARCIA BRADY
PETER BRADY
JAN BRADY
BOBBY BRADY
CINDY BRADY
HARRY DUGGINS, motorist
EDDIE, Greg’s friend (voice only)
JUDGE
(The episode begins with Carol driving her car home. She and Marcia get out of the car with Bobby and Cindy when they arrive home.)
Bobby: Boy, wait till Dad finds out. Is he gonna be mad.
(He takes a bag from Marcia to bring inside.)
Cindy: I’m gonna finish my homework fast so I can watch.
Bobby: Me too.
Marcia (taking another bag): Mom, are you gonna tell Dad before dinner or after?
Carol: You kids are making a big deal over nothing. Your father is not gonna be upset over something so, so minor.
(Before walking in the house, Carol takes a look at the dented fender on the car, courteousy of another driver at the store. The scene fades.)
(The next scene has Carol in the kitchen helping Alice cook dinner.)
Alice: Mr. Brady ought to be home any minute, Mrs. Brady.
Carol: I guess so.
Alice: I sure wish there was some way I can help you soften the blow.
Carol: Alice, you’re as bad as the kids. Now, Mr. Brady is not gonna be upset.
Alice: Well, I hope not.
Carol (laughing): After all, it was just a little accident. Just a dented fender. It wasn’t even my fault.
Alice: Have you thought about how you’re gonna break the news?
Carol: Oh yeah, I’ll just say, hi honey, how was your day? He’ll say fine, how was yours? I’ll say, oh, terrific, just a slight mishap with the car. Then he’ll say…
(Her words are cut by the sound of him coming in the door.)
Alice: I wonder what he’ll say right now. Mr. Brady just got home.
Carol (sheepishly): Mike.
Mike: Hi, honey.
Mike: How was your day?
Mike: Oh, great.
Carol (to Alice): How do I look?
Alice: Like a turkey on Thanksgiving.
(Carol pats Alice’s shoulder then goes out to the living room to greet Mike. She has a celery stick in her hand.)
Carol: Hi, honey.
Mike: Hi, sweetheart.
(He kisses her.)
Carol: How was everything at the office?
Mike: Fine. How was your day today?
Carol: Oh, just great. I confirmed your golf date on Sunday.
Mike: Thank you.
Carol: And, I found a button that matches your sweater and I sewed it on. And, I put a new light bulb in your den. And, I picked up your cleaning. And, I made your favorite chicken dumplings for dinner.
Mike (suspicious): Honey.
Carol: Yeah.
Mike: What went wrong today?
Carol: Oh, well, now that you mention it, there was one small tiny minor problem.
Mike: Small tiny minor.
Carol: I knew you’d see it that way.
Mike: See it what way?
(Greg comes in.)
Greg: Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. Who banged up the car?
Mike (serious): Who banged up what?
Greg: Oops.
Mike: Well, better have a look at the small, tiny, minor.
(He goes outside to inspect the damage.)
Carol (to Greg): Thanks a lot, big mouth.
(She puts the celery in his mouth, then joins Mike outside.)
Mike (checking the fender): Well, uh, it’s no big thing, but it’s not exactly small tiny minor either.
Carol: Well, honey, it wasn’t my fault. I was just at the parking lot at the supermarket and…
Mike: What happened?
Carol: Well, we got in the car and we fastened our seat belts. And then I carefully looked out the back window to make sure everything was clear. Then I started to back out. then, then this man across the aisle, he started to back right out.
Mike: Then he ran into you.
Carol: Exactly. He hit me. Well, uh, he didn’t even look back. He just, he just barreled right out of that parking lot.
Mike: Listen, what about the damage to his car.
Carol: About the same as mine, dented fender.
Mike: Well, I’m glad nobody was hurt.
Carol: Me too. Well, we exchanged names and addresses and we decided to fix our own cars instead of making a big thing out of it.
Mike: Well, it would’ve been wiser to report it, but as long as you both agreed.
(Peter and Jan come home on their bikes.)
Peter: Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
Carol: Hi.
Mike: Hello, kids.
Jan: Hi.
(They notice the broken fender.)
Peter: Wow, I bet Greg’s really gonna get it for that.
Jan: What a dumb thing to do.
Mike: Greg didn’t do it.
Carol: And it wasn’t so dumb, either.
Mike: Hey, you kids better get ready for dinner. Your mom has made chicken dumplings for dinner tonight.
Jan: Chicken and dumplings?
Peter (laughing): That means Mom wrecked the car.
(Mike laughs and Carol elbows him right in the stomach.)
Mike: Oh, listen, that’s where I’m gonna put my dumpling.
Carol: I’ll give you a dumpling.
(Next, Greg is on the phone with his friend, Eddie.)
Greg: Listen Eddie, we have a problem about tonight. I’m without wheels?
Eddie: How come?
Greg: My mom got in an accident with her car and smashed the tail light. My folks are gonna use my Dad’s car. How about you driving us?
Eddie: No chance.
Greg: How about Dave?
(Meanwhile, Marcia and Jan are in the living room. They are looking at a magazine.)
Marcia: I just love those jeans.
Jan: That’s the kind that waits your tie.
Marcia: Yeah, perfect.
Jan: Yeah, perfect. They don’t say where you can buy them here.
Marcia: Sandy has a pair, I can ask her.
Jan: Why don’t you call her.
Marcia: Okay.
(They go over to the phone and Marcia hears the conversation between Greg and Eddie.)
Eddie: No offense to your mother, but woman are dumb drivers.
Marcia: (annoyed): What do you mean women are dumb drivers?
Greg: Who is that?
Jan: Who are you talking to?
Eddie: Who’s on the phone, Greg?
Greg: Sounded like Marcia.
Marcia: It’s Marcia all right, and men are even dumber drivers.
Jan: Who are you talking to?
Eddie: No one’s dumber than a woman driver?
Marcia: Are you listening, Eddie?
Eddie: Yeah.
Marcia: Well listen to this!
(She slams down the phone, to Greg’s chagrin. Then she storms out to the family room.)
Jan: Who’s Eddie? And how come you hung up on Eddie after you told him to listen?
Eddie: Listen, Eddie, I’m sure we can get this… (Marcia comes up to him) Hang on a minute.
Marcia: For the record, that accident was not Mom’s fault. It was that dumb man driver’s fault!
(She goes back tot he living room. Greg gets back on the phone.)
Greg: That was my sister, Eddie.
Eddie: Which one?
Greg: The one you said you wanted to ask for a date.
(Eddie hangs up.)
Greg: Eddie, hello, hello, Eddie.
(The next scene has Mike and Carol preparing to go out for the evening when the doorbell rings.)
Mike (calling): Carol! Come on, honey. We’re gonna be late!
Carol: Coming honey.
(Mike answers the door and it’s Mr. Duggins.)
Duggins: Mr. Brady.
Mike: Yeah.
Duggins: I’m Harry Duggins. (He walks in) I’m the fellow who had the accident with your wife this afternoon.
Mike: Yeah, well, come on in.
Duggins (checking the house out): Thank you. Oh my, you have a lovely place here.
Mike: Thank you.
Duggins: Oh, did I catch you at a bad time?
Mike: Well, my wife and I are going out, yeah.
Duggins: I see, well, this won’t take a minute. I mean, you and I can settle this man to man if you know what I mean.
Mike: No, I don’t know what you mean.
Duggins: Well, you know, women drivers.
(Carol comes into the living room.)
Carol: Women drivers?
Duggins: Oh, good evening, Mrs. Brady. This won’t take a second. I borrowed a car from a friend to get out here and I got to get it right back to him. You see, my car had to be towed from the scene of the accident to the shop.
Mike: Well, my wife told me there wasn’t much damage done to your car.
Duggins: Well, as a matter of fact, she banged up my car pretty bad.
Carol (surprised): Pretty bad?
Duggins: Yes, in fact, (He takes a piece of paper out of his coat pocket) I have an itemized list of the damage done to my car and what it will cost Mrs. Brady to fix it.
Carol (upset): Cost me to fix it? But we both agreed to fix our own cars.
Duggins: Why should I agree to a thing like that? The accident wasn’t my fault.
Carol: Well, it certainly wasn’t my fault.
Duggins: Well, I think you should hear my side of the story, Mr. Brady.
Carol: But I already told Mr. Brady everything.
Mike: What is your side, Mr. Duggins?
Duggins: Well, you see, I was doing some heavy marketing for my wife. Being a woman, she’s a little frail.
Carol: Excuse me, Mr. Duggins. Frail is one thing that I’m not.
Duggins: Well, I’d like to get in my side of the story without any interruptions.
Mike: Get on with it, Mr. Duggins.
(Bobby and Cindy are watching from upstairs, at the top of the staircase.)
Duggins: Well, I got my car started the engine and I checked my rear window and saw it was clear and I decided to back out slowly when, all of a sudden, she started screaming out of her parking place and banged right into me. Obviously, she didn’t look back.
Carol (defensive): Mike, he couldn’t have looked back because I was moving first!
Duggins (to Carol): Oh no, you didn’t look back because I was moving first!
Mike: All right, okay, this part is a standoff. As long as there was the same amount of damage done to your cars…
Duggins (interrupting): Same amount of damage, are you kidding? Here. (He hands the list to Mike) Read this.
Mike (reading): Smashed rear light, crushed fender, replace muffler, replace duster. (a little louder) Realign the frame! How much?
Duggins: $295.11. Of course, there are some other minor things that I don’t mind taking care of myself.
Carol (shouting sarcastically): What? Refurnishing your house? Mike, this just isn’t true!
Duggins: Mrs. Brady, are you suggesting that I am lying?
Carol: And very badly, too.
Duggins: Well, Mrs. Brady, you’re gonna have to believe one of our stories, and I guess it will be hers. See who wears the pants in this family.
Mike (firmly): Mr. Duggins, I think you better leave before I toss you out on the seat of yours.
Duggins: Sir, are you threatening me with bodily harm?
Mike: Yes. (pointing his thumb to the door) Out!
(Mr. Duggins starts to leave then turns around.)
Duggins (angry): You haven’t heard the last of this, I’m gonna sue you! I’ll see you in court!
Carol (yelling): My pleasure!
(He leaves.)
Carol: Of all the nerve! That, that chiseler!
Mike: He’s obviously trying to using the accident to get a whole lot of other repairs done to his car.
(Bobby and Cindy come down the stairs.)
Carol: Mike, you really think he means it about taking me to court?
Mike: Yeah, I think he means it, all right.
(Bobby and Cindy approach their parents.)
Bobby: Mom, Dad, can we talk to you for a second?
Cindy: We heard what you said.
Bobby: Do we have to go to court too?
Mike: Uh, uh, yea, you might.
Carol: Oh, Mike, you don’t really think they might have to go to court, do you?
Mike: Honey, they were witnesses. That’s perfectly legal.
Cindy: Oh, no.
Carol: Honey, there’s nothing to be afraid of. All you have to do is tell the truth.
Bobby: We do?
Mike: Of course, especially in court.
Cindy: The exact truth?
Mike: Say listen, what’s going on here?
Bobby: Well, before you go to court, I think you oughtta know something.
Mike: What?
Bobby: Well, maybe the accident was Mom’s fault.
Carol (astonished): My fault?
Cindy: We didn’t see you look back. Like the man said.
Mike: Are you sure?
Bobby (nodding): We’re sure, Dad. Sorry, Mom.
Mike: Look you two, run on upstairs and go to bed. It’s your bedtime, okay. (They walk off) Say good night.
Bobby and Cindy: Good night.
Carol (embarrassed): Gee Mike, I don’t know what to say.
Mike: Honey, now listen. Are you sure you looked before you, now, wait a minute, maybe you think you did.
Carol (insistent): Honey, I am positive I looked back!
Mike: Then, how do you explain the kids?
Carol: I can’t. Mike, what am I gonna do? Mr. Duggins is gonna take me to court and my own kids are gonna hafta testify against me.
(The next scene has Carol and Mike in their bedroom later that night. They are discussing the matter a little further.)
Carol: Those poor kids, they must be terribly upset.
Mike: Yeah, especially since we always told them to be truthful.
(Carol sits down and starts to brush her hair.)
Carol: Well, I guess there’s only one thing to do. That’s give that Mr. Duggins his $295.
Mike: And 11 cents.
Carol: And 11 cents. But we just couldn’t put the kids through that. Making them appear in court.
Mike: Well, I agree. It’s pretty bad having your own kids testifying against you.
Carol: Well, it wouldn’t exactly make the P.T.A. nominate me mother of the year.
Mike (taking his shirt off): Well, I’ll tell the kids in the morning. Be delighted.
Carol: Do you know what makes me absolutely furious? That Duggins is gonna think I’m finally admitting that I was lying.
Mike: Oh, honey. Don’t think about it. Just forget all about it. (he kisses her) And hope you never see him again.
(He heads to the bathroom.)
Carol: Mike. (Mike stops) You don’t think I’m lying, do you?
Mike: No.
(He heads toward the bathroom again.)
Carol: Mike. (He stops again) You do believe me, don’t you?
Mike: Of course I do.
(He tries again for the bathroom.)
Carol: Mike. (He stops once again) You’re not just saying that because you’re my husband, are you?
Mike: No, sweetheart, I’m not.
(He goes again but stops intentionally. She turns around.)
Carol: What’s the matter?
Mike: I was waiting for you to stop me again.
(Meanwhile, Bobby is in the bathroom and Peter knocks on the door.)
Bobby (calling): Go away!
Peter: Come on, I gotta brush my teeth too, you little creep.
Greg: Will you stop calling Bobby a creep?
Peter: How about Benedict Arnold?
Greg: Look, Bobby’s no traitor. He’s in a bind.
Peter: Well, he shouldn’t testify against his own mother.
Greg: What else can he do?
Peter: Lots of things.
Greg: Like what?
Peter; Well, maybe he can run away from home.
(He shouts that at the door for Bobby to hear.)
Bobby: Leave me alone!
Greg: Go to sleep.
Peter: Might as well, he won’t let me in there.
Greg: Good night.
Peter: Good night. (He heads toward his bed then yells toward the door) Good night, creep!
(Greg throws a pillow at him.)
Peter: Good, I have two pillows now.
(He puts it under his head. We next see Marcia exits the bathroom and sees Cindy wide awake.)
Marcia: Come on, Cindy, you should be sleeping.
Cindy (glumly): I know.
Jan: What’s the matter?
Cindy: I guess I should tell you. Bobby and I got Mom in trouble?
Marcia: What are you talking about?
Cindy: The man Mom had an accident with is gonna sue her?
Marcia: Sue Mom?
Cindy: And Bobby and I have to be witnesses in court, because we were in the car.
Marcia: Then I guess I’ll have to be a witness too.
Jan: How did you and Bobby get Mom in trouble?
Cindy: Because we said it was Mom’s fault.
Marcia (surprised): Mom’s fault?
Cindy: Uh huh. What am I gonna do?
Marcia: For one thing, get glasses.
(She leaves the room and goes to see Mike and Carol, who are in bed reading.)
Mike: Honey, there’s no use in stewing about it all night.
Carol: I’m not stewing, I’m reading.
Mike: Sweetheart, you have been on page 124 for 30 minutes. That’s not reading, that’s stewing. (Marcia knocks) Come in.
Marcia (entering): Mom, I just heard that man is going to sue you over the accident.
Carol: Well he was honey, but, we’re not going to court.
Marcia (surprised): Why not?
Mike: Well, sweetheart, it’s a little complicated.
Marcia: Well, if it’s because of Bobby and Cindy, they’re wrong. It wasn’t Mom’s fault.
Mike: Were you in the car too?
Marcia: Yes, I saw Mom look back.
Mike: Well, now, wait a minute, how could four of you have been in the car and two of you see one thing and two of you see the other?
Marcia: I don’t know. Is there something we can do, Dad?
Mike: Yeah, I can get an ice bag. (He gets up) I wasn’t in the accident, but I’m getting a headache.
(The next morning, Cindy is still upset as she has breakfast with Alice in the kitchen with her.)
Alice: Come on, honey, cheer up. Your folks will figure a way out of this somehow.
Cindy: But what if they don’t? And Bobby and I will have to go to court.
Alice: Well, maybe not.
Cindy: Where the judge swears at you.
Alice: No, sweetie, the judge swears you in.
Cindy: It sounds just as bad.
Alice: Well, it’s not just as bad. (She sits down with her) Look, I’ve never been in court myself but I’m what you might call an amateur expert anyway?
Cindy: How come?
Alice: From watching television. I’ve learned a lot from the Bold Ones, Owen Marshall and I expect to pass the bar on the Perry Mason reruns.
Cindy: You mean, court is just like it is on TV?
Alice: Pretty much. The judge walks in, and you stand up. When he stands, you stand, and when he sits, you sit.
Cindy: Sounds like follow the leader.
Alice: Well, sort of. And then, when he calls your name, you become a witness, and you sit in the witness chair.
Cindy: Is that where I have to tell the truth?
Alice: Yep, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Cindy: Alice, if I don’t sit in the chair, can I fib a little?
Alice: Sweetie, I don’t think your mother would want you to do that?
Cindy: But if Bobby and I tell the truth, she’ll lose, and go to jail for years and years.
Alice: Honey, this is just small claims court. There’s no jury, your mother’s not gonna have to go to jail no matter what you say. The judge just listens to both sides, and he decides which one is…
(Mike and Carol come out.)
Mike: Cindy, when you finish breakfast, get Bobby. I want you both to come out in the backyard.
Cindy: I’m finished.
Carol: Come on, Marcia, honey.
Alice: What’s up, Mrs. Brady?
Carol: We’re gonna find out why four people in the same car didn’t see the same thing, the same way.
Alice: How?
Carol: Mr. Brady is gonna restage the scene of the crime. Come on.
(They all head outside. Carol, Marcia, Bobby and Cindy are in the car while Greg is in the other car, pretending to be Mr. Duggins.)
Mike: Okay, let’s go through this the way it happened at the supermarket. And remember, I said exactly.
Greg (from the other car): Where do you want the car, Dad?
Mike: Carol, is that about right?
Carol: Yeah, I think so.
Mike (calling): Okay, Greg, that’s okay. Now, you’re Mr. Duggins, and you start backing up when I tell you!
Greg: Right, Dad. Hey, Pete, you wanna ride along with me?
Peter: Nah, I don’t wanna ride with Mr. Duggins.
Jan: Neither do I.
Mike: Never mind that now, kids. Now, come on. Let’s get, let’s get started here. Now Carol, tell me everything you did exactly.
Carol: Okay, well, first, we got into the car and we fastened our seat belts. (to the kids) Right?
Marcia: Right.
Carol: Then, uh, then I started the motor. And I looked carefully behind me to make sure that everything was clear. And then I started to back out.
Bobby: That’s when we didn’t see you look back.
Mike (yelling): Start backing, Greg!
Greg: Okay, Dad.
Mike: And don’t stop until I tell you!
(Greg nods and Marcia remembers something.)
Marcia: Wait a minute, that’s when you two were fighting about something.
Cindy: Oh, yeah. (to Bobby) You spilled ice cream all over me.
Mike: Okay kids, I said exactly. So you two, go ahead, fight.
Bobby (shouting): I did not spill it on you!
Cindy (yelling): You did too!
Bobby: I did not!
Cindy: You did!
Bobby: I didn’t.
Cindy: You did!
Mike: Wait a minute, I think we got something here.
(Peter notices Greg getting too close.)
Peter: Hey, hey, Dad.
Mike: Were you two arguing the whole time? (Peter comes up to him to warn him) Peter, not now.
Peter: But, but, but, Dad.
Mike: Peter, (he sees Greg getting too close) Greg, stop!
(He stops suddenly, to everyone’s relief.)
Jan: We almost had another court case.
Alice: Yeah, Brady vs. Brady.
(They laugh.)
Mike: Bobby, Cindy, were you two arguing the whole time?
Cindy: Yeah, I think we were.
Mike: Well, if you were, then how do you know whether your mother looked back before the accident?
Bobby: Maybe she did look back but we didn’t see it.
Mike: Exactly. And it only takes a split second to miss something.
Cindy: Maybe we missed it.
Bobby: We’re sorry, Mom.
Carol: That’s okay, honey. You only said what you thought was the truth.
Alice: Well, Mr. Brady, you’re a regular Charlie Chan.
Mike (in Charlie Chan’s voice): Ah, honorable.
Carol (mimicking him): Honorable wife, of honorable detective, hope honorable judge, just as clever.
(Next, They are down at court. The judge takes the file from the clerk.)
Judge: Next case is Duggins vs. Brady. Will the interested party please come forward?
(Carol, Marcia, Bobby and Cindy get up to approach the judge.)
Judge: Mrs. Brady.
Carol: Yes, your honor.
Judge: The defendant. (calling) Will Mr. Duggins please step forward. (He is not in the courtroom) Mrs. Brady, you may return to your seat. The court will grant Mr. Duggins 2 minutes grace.
(They return and Mr. Duggins shows up. He is wearing a neck brace.)
Marcia: Mom, Dad, look.
Carol (angry and to Mike): A neck brace? Do you believe that?
Mike: I’m surprised he doesn’t have both legs in a cast.
(Mr. Duggins approaches the judge.)
Judge: State your name please.
Duggins: Harry Duggins, sir. I’m sorry I’m late, your honor. But I was at the doctors with whiplash.
Judge: Yeah, it appears. The defendants will return please. (Carol and the kids return to the front bench) You understand I will hear both sides, and then the court will render a decision.
Carol: Yes, your honor.
Judge (to Duggins): Plaintiff first, you may use the blackboard.
Duggins: Well, it’s rather difficult, your honor. You see, I can hardly turn my head, but, I was parked (He uses the cars on the board). I was parked here and (moving her car to a slanted position) she was parked, like that. I had just come from the market with my groceries. My wife usually does the shopping, but, the poor woman is bed ridden.
Judge: Just stick to what happened in the parking lot, Mr. Duggins.
Duggins: Yes sir, well I got into my car and I turned my head carefully and looked out the rear window. Of course, I can’t turn my head now, but, I looked and I saw it was clear, so I, started to back up very slowly, when, all of a sudden, she came barreling out of her parking space and, wham, bang, right into me. Of course, you know how women drivers are, your honor.
Judge: Whether the other driver is male or female, is not pertinent. Except maybe to his or her spouse.
Duggins: Oh, I understand, sir. I just meant…
Judge: Do you have anything to add? Have you any witnesses?
Duggins: No sir, I just have here (he reaches in his pocket for his list) an itemized list of the damages to my car. (He hands it to the judge) No thanks to her, I could’ve been banged up a lot worse than this. Of course I, can’t even turn my head.
Duggins: You made that abundantly clear. Mrs. Brady, it’s your turn. Carol (approaching the judge): Thank you.
(She gives Mr. Duggins a mean look and then proceeds.)
Carol: Your honor, I agree with Mr. Duggins on only one point. We were both parked. But I was the one who looked back to make sure everything as clear. He couldn’t have, otherwise, he wouldn’t have hit me.
Duggins: No, you were the one who didn’t look out because you hit me.
Carol: Just a minute, Mr. Duggins.
Judge: Mr. Duggins, I believe you had your turn. (looking at the kids) Children, are you witnesses?
Marcia: Yes, your honor.
Duggins: I object, your honor. She probably told them what to say.
Judge: Mr. Duggins, the court does not need advice from you. (to the kids) State your named please.
Marcia: Marcia Brady.
Bobby: Robert Brady.
Cindy: Cynthia Brady, your honor.
Judge: Now, children, the story that your mother told about the accident in the parking lot, is that true? Did she turn around and carefully look before she backed up?
Marcia: Yes, your honor. I saw her look back.
Judge: Are you sure?
Marcia: Yes sir, I’m sure.
Bobby: But Cindy and I didn’t see her, your honor.
Cindy: He spilled ice cream on my dress.
Bobby: I did not.
Cindy: You did too.
Bobby: I did not.
Cindy: You did too.
Bobby: I did not.
Cindy: You did too.
Bobby: I did not.
(Carol shushes them.)
Judge: Be seated, children. (they sit) The court finds itself with two completely conflicting accounts of this accident. On the one hand, Mr. Duggins states categorically that he looked very carefully before he pulled his car out. On the other hand, Mrs. Brady contends the same thing. This leaves the court to settle the decision entirely on the testimony of both civilians.
(Mike throws his briefcase down, right behind Mr. Duggins. He gets startled and turns around very fast.)
Bobby: Hey, he turned his head.
Cindy: Yeah, he turned his head.
Duggins (defiantly): No, I didn’t. (to the judge) I, I just…
(He realizes he was caught.)
Judge: Mr. Duggins, it is the opinion of the court that your neck brace was an verged tempt to change the opinion of this court, therefore beclouding your testimony. I find in favor the defendant.
(He hits the desk with his gavel. Mr. Duggins gives a defeated look.)
Carol (to the judge): Thank you.
(Mr. Duggins goes up to the judge to retrieve the list.)
Marcia: That was really smart, Dad.
Mike (mimicking Chan): Honorable father uses honorable noodle.
Carol: Honorable mother most grateful.
(They kiss. Meanwhile, Mr. Duggins tears up his list. The family prepares to leave.)
Bobby: Dad, can we see the judge for a second?
Carol: What for?
Cindy: Maybe he can decide who spilt the ice cream?
(They exit the courtroom and the scene fades.)
(The final scene has Peter and Jan fighting over a candy bar.)
Peter: It’s mine!
Jan: It is not, it’s mine!
(Cindy comes by.)
Peter: Jan, let go.
Jan: I won’t. It’s my candy bar.
Peter: No, it’s not.
Jan: Yes it is.
Cindy: Let me settle this. I was just in court learning all about what’s really legal.
Peter: Okay by me.
Jan: Okay.
(Cindy takes the phone and use sit as a gavel.)
Cindy: The court will now come to order. Whatever Judge Brady says goes. Let me see the evidence.
(Peter and Jan begrudgingly show her the bar of candy.)
Cindy (to Peter): You say it’s yours and she says it’s hers, right?
Peter: It’s mine, I bought it yesterday.
Jan: It is not, it’s mine. I just bought it at the store.
Cindy: Hmm, very tough case, only one thing to do.
(She eats it and Peter and Jan chase after her.)
THE END
Brady Bunch Scriptman 