Written by Larry Rhine and Al Schwartz
Marcia breaks a date with a nice guy when the star football player asks her out. I hope you enjoy the script.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
VICKI, Marcia’s friend
DOUG SIMPSON, big man on campus
CHARLEY, guy who Marcia dates
(The episode begins at Marcia’s school. She is walking and runs into her friend Vicki.)
Vicki: Hey Marcia, wake up.
Marcia: Hi, Vicki.
Vicki: Wasn’t that a terrific game Friday?
Marcia: Yeah, we got a real team this year.
Vicki: You mean we got Doug Simpson. He’s the whole team.
Marcia: He’s far out.
Vicki: So rugged and handsome.
Marcia: There are other values that are far more important though.
Vicki: Like what?
Marcia: Well. (Pause) Give me time, I’ll think of something.
(They walk and then Vicki looks back. She sees Doug.)
Vicki: Don’t look now, he’s right behind us. Doug Simpson.
Marcia: Just act casual.
(He approaches them.)
Doug: Hi, girls.
Vicki: Good morning, Doug.
Doug: Oh Marcia, I’ve been looking for you.
Doug: Yeah. I was wondering if you’d like to go to a dance with me on Saturday night?
(Marcia is speechless for a minute, then Vicki elbows her.)
Marcia (ecstatic): Yeah, I’d love to.
Doug: Great, Saturday night then. Okay.
Doug: See you.
Vicki: Bye. (She turns to Marcia) A date with Doug Simpson, can I touch you? It might rub off.
(The girls continue walking while they gloat. Then Marcia realizes something.)
Vicki: What’s the matter?
Marcia: I just thought of something awful. I have a date with Charley for Saturday night.
Marcia: I was so shook up by Doug that I completely forgot. Now I got two dates for the same night.
Vicki: What are you gonna do?
Marcia: Yeah, what am I gonna do.
(The scene fades out.)
(The next scene has Greg at home working on a bicycle. Charley comes over with a delivery.)
Charley: Hi, Greg.
Greg: Hi, Charley. What’s all that stuff.
Charley: The wallpaper samples for your folks, from my Dad’s shop. Say, is Marcia around?
Greg: No Charley, she’s not home from school yet. You can turn your motor off.
Charley (embarrassed): Well, uh, we’ll see you.
(Inside, Alice is taking some cookies out of the oven.)
Carol: Mmm, Alice, those cookies smell delicious.
Alice: Hope they last till I get them in the cookie jar.
Carol: They sure do go fast.
Alice: In 4 years, not 1 of those kids have ever tasted a cold cookie.
(Charley knocks on the door.)
Carol: Oh, hi Charley, come on in.
Charley (coming in): Hi. Dad sent these samples for your bedroom.
Carol: Oh, good, let’s just set them down here on the table.
Charley: Dad said some of them are pretty expensive, but seeing that you’re Marcia’s mother, I think I can arrange a discount.
Alice: Will a few cookies get a discount on the discount.
Charley (taking a cookie): Thanks.
(Outside, Marcia is coming home.)
Greg: Better brace yourself, your heartthrob Charley is inside.
Marcia: Charley is here?
Greg: He had to bring over some wallpaper.
Marcia: Greg, I need your advice about something.
Greg: Sure, what?
Marcia: What is the easiest way to break a date with a guy?
Greg: Break a date?
Greg: Uh, tell him you’re sick or you had to go out of town.
Marcia: Mmm mmm, he might see me at school.
Greg: Why don’t you do what us guys always do. tell him suddenly came up.
Marcia: Something suddenly came up. That’s all?
Greg: It always works.
Marcia: Besides, it’s not even a lie. Thanks, Greg.
Greg: Do you have to break a date with Charley?
Greg: How come?
Marcia: Something suddenly came up.
(She walks away and leaves Greg baffled. Back inside with Charley, Carol and Alice.)
Charley: My dad picked out these patterns for you himself.
Carol: That was very sweet of him.
Alice (pulling one up): How do you like this one, Mrs. Brady?
Carol: Oh, it looks good on you, Alice. let’s see how it looks on the bedroom wall. Bye, Charlie.
Alice: Help yourself to more cookies.
Charley: Thanks, we’ll see you.
(Marcia comes inside.)
Charley: Hi, Marcia. Gee, I was hoping I’d get to see you.
Marcia (sheepishly): Charley, there’s something I have to….
Charley: Oh, Saturday night, I can pick you up at 7. We can go to a movie, and afterwards, maybe some pizza.
Marcia: Well, I’m sorry….
Charley: If you don’t like pizza, maybe some tacos.
Marcia: It’s not that.
Charley: Hamburgers, chili dogs, you name it, you got it.
Marcia: Charley, I have to break our date.
Charley: You do? Gee, I hope nothing’s wrong.
Marcia: No, it’s just that, something suddenly came up.
Charley: Oh, well, I’m sure sorry.
Marcia: So am I, but…
Charley: Maybe we can make it some other time.
Charley: Well, I better be getting back to the shop. See you, Marcia.
(Cut to the parents’ bedroom, where Mike put up two samples of wallpaper for him and Carol to decide on.)
Mike: Well, I don’t know, honey. Out of the two, the only one I halfway like is the one with the stripes.
Carol: No, I prefer the one with the roses.
Mike: Well, that’s okay if it was just a lady’s room. (He laughs) I mean, just a room for a lady. But, I like the stripes better.
Carol: Oh, honey, I would feel like I was in jail. Nah, I like the rose pattern much better.
(Alice comes by.)
Alice: Hi, did you decide anything yet?
Carol: No, Alice. Whiuch one do you like best?
Mike: Yeah, which one do you like?
Alice: Which one do you like, Mr. Brady?
Mike: I like the stripes.
Alice: Oh, you couldn’t have made a better choice. There’s nothing nicer than stripes.
Carol: I like the roses.
Alice: Yes, of course is roses. Roses are so (Pause) rosy. How about striped roses (Mike laughs) Rose colored stripes?
Carol: Oh, come on, Alice. what do you honestly think?
Alice: I honestly think I should keep my mouth shut.
(Mike laughs and Bobby and Cindy come by.)
Cindy: Hey Bobby, look at the wallpaper.
Bobby: That’s really neat, it sure doesn’t match.
Mike: What do you think?
Cindy: I like the roses the best.
Bobby: I like the stripes.
Bobby: I like the way it runs in the family.
(Carol laughs. We next take you to the boys’ room. Greg is doing homework and Marcia knocks.)
Greg: Come in.
Marcia: I just wanted to thank you for the advice.
Greg: About how to break your date?
Marcia: Mmm hmm. It worked fine.
Greg; How did Charley take it?
Marcia: Fine. It didn’t seem to bother him at all.
Marcia: But it made me feel awful.
Greg: You wanted the date with Doug, didn’t you?
Marcia: Sure. when I think about having a chance to go out with a guy like Doug, I feel fantastic. He’s so good-looking, popular and terrific.
Marcia: But when I think of Charley, just a plain, sweet, ordinary guy, sitting home alone, I feel terrible.
Greg: Then just think about Doug.
Marcia: You’re right. Doug’s the biggest man on campus. A girl would be out of her mind not to go out with him.
Marcia: But poor old Charley, nice as can be, all alone Saturday night. I’m a rat.
Greg: Marcia, I can’t keep up with you.
Marcia: Me either. It’s not easy being a woman.
Greg: Well, I’ll tell you one thing, it’s a lot easier for you than it is for me.
(They laugh and now we go downstairs. Jan and Cindy are in the family room playing chess.)
Jan: Cindy, will you move?
Cindy: I’m thinking.
Jan: You only got one move to make, and you’re gonna lose. What’s there to think about?
Cindy: I’m thinking about losing.
(Charley knocks on the door.)
Jan: Oh, come in, Charley.
Charley: Hi, I just brought some new samples for your folks.
Jan: Oh, Mom’s upstairs.
Charley: Is Marcia around?
Jan: No, she hasn’t gotten back from school yet.
(He walks away with the samples.)
Cindy: Boy, he sure is hung up on Marcia.
Jan: Yeah, poor Charley. Too bad she had to break her date with him.
Cindy: Why did she break her date?
Jan: Something suddenly came up.
Jan: You’re too young to understand.
(Doug gives Marcia a ride home. They pull in with his car.)
Jan: Oh no, Doug’s here.
Cindy: So what?
Jan; Cindy, you’re too young to understand.
(He gets up and opens the door for Marcia to get out of the car.)
Marcia: Thanks for the ride home, Doug.
Doug: Any time. You make the car look great, Marcia.
Doug: Hey, don’t forget about our date on Saturday night.
Marcia: No way.
Jan (coming outside): Hi.
Marcia: Hi. (to Doug) I’d like you to meet my sister Jan. This is Doug Simpson.
Marcia (to Doug): Hey, how would you like to come in the house for a cold drink.
Jan (abruptly): He can’t.
Marcia: What do you mean he can’t.
Jan: We’re all out of cold drinks.
Marcia: How about a cold piece of fruit or something.
Jan: We’re all out of fruit too. And besides, it’s such a mess upstairs with all the wallpaper samples’
Marcia: So what? We’ll stay downstairs.
Jan: Well, there are wallpaper samples all over the place, and that wallpaper didn’t walk in by itself, you know.
Jan: Somebody had to bring them.
(Marcia suddenly realizes.)
Marcia: Oh, yes, of course, I know what you mean. Jan’s right, the place is a mess.
Doug: Oh, well, I’ve got to get to football practice anyway, so I’ll see you, Marcia. (He gets into the car and Marcia reaches for her books) Oh, and, nice meeting you, Jan.
Marcia: Bye, see you at school.
Doug: Okay, see you then.
(He starts to drive off.)
Marcia: Boy, thanks for telling me Charley was here. That could have been a disaster.
Cindy (coming out): What could have been a disaster?
Marcia: Cindy, you’re too young to understand.
(Marcia and Jan go inside.)
Cindy (to herself): I wish I was old enough to understand all these things I’m too young to understand.
(That evening, Mike and Carol are in their bedroom.)
Mike: At last we found a pattern we can agree on.
Carol (laughing): Yeah, it only took two days and 100 samples.
Mike: I’ll give Charlie’s father the order in the morning.
Carol: Hey honey, wait a minute. It just occurred to me.
Mike: What does?
Carol: Well, if we use this wallpaper, we’re gonna have to get new drapes. (Mike laughs) yeah, and look at this carpeting. If we’re gonna get new wallpaper and new drapes, we’re gonna have get new carpeting.
Mike (astonished): New carpeting?
Carol: Yeah, and look at the bed spread. Honey, if we get new wallpaper, new drapers and new carpeting, we’re gonna have to have a new bed spread.
Mike: Listen honey, I got a great idea.
Mike: Forget the wallpaper, let’s paint.
Carol: Okay, let’s paint. But we’re still gonna need new carpeting, new drapes and a new bed spread.
Mike: Not if we repaint the same color.
Carol: Oh, honey.
(Peter and Bobby are outside playing football.)
Peter: Okay, last quarter, and we’re behind, 7 to 6.
(Bobby gives the ball to Peter.)
Peter: 2, hut, hike.
(Bobby runs and throws the ball to Peter.)
(Marcia is inside on the phone with Doug.)
Marcia: me too. I’m really looking forward to Saturday night, Doug. Yeah, I hate to say good-bye too. Bye.
(She hags the phone up in a trance. Carol comes by.)
Carol: Doug? (Marcia nods) When you come back to Earth would you please go tell the boys to come in and straighten up their room.
(Back outside with the boys.)
Peter: 15, 64, 50, 80, 90, hike.
Marcia (coming outside): Hey, you guys. (Peter throws the ball to Bobby and hits Marcia in the face) Oh, my nose!
(Peter and Bobby come running to her.)
Bobby: Marcia, are you okay?
Peter: Are you hurt? We’re really sorry.
(Inside, Carol has her nose in a paper towel and ice.)
Carol: Oh, let’s take a look at it, honey.
Marcia (dismayed): It’s getting bigger by the minute.
Mike: We better get her to a doctor right away.
Carol: I hope it isn’t broken.
Marcia: What’s the difference. There goes my date with Doug.
(The scene fades.)
(The next scene has Marcia looking in the mirror in her bedroom. Jan looks on.)
Marcia: Look at my nose. It’s getting bigger by the minute.
Jan: Oh, it’s not that big. It just seems that way because you’ve been staring at it.
Marcia: How can I avoid it? Wherever I look, there it is.
Jan: Look on the brightside. The doctor said it wasn’t broken.
(Cindy comes in.)
Cindy: Marcia, I brought you some more ice.
Marcia: No more ice, Cindy. My nose is freezing. It’s turning blue.
Cindy: It’s a nice shade of blue.
Marcia: I wish I can go out on a date and leave my nose at home.
Jan: Doug’s a football player. He’s probably used to a lot of swollen noses.
Marcia: Yeah, but not on girls.
Cindy: Marcia, I’m proud to be your sister, now matter how terrible you look.
Marcia (annoyed): Thanks a lot.
(She goes to sit on the bed and Carol comes in.)
Carol: Hey, your nose is beginning to look better already (to Jan and Cindy) Isn’t it, girls? (They agree) Why don’t you try taking your mind off that nose. Help your father and me. We’re just starting to paint the bedroom. (Jan and Cindy go with Carol. Marcia stays.) Come on. It’s gonna be a lot of fun.
Marcia (to herself): Get my mind off of it. (She starts to envision the game over again) I’ll never forget that football game as long as I live. (She pictures the ball hitting her nose a few times, with her yelling Oh, my nose)
(Now we bring you to Mike and Carol’s room, where the rest of the family is painting.)
Mike: Okay, kids, let’s get to work. Now, remember, this is not a game. Paint up and down, not in circles. Neatness counts.
Carol: Yeah, and be careful. The paint goes on the walls, not on your clothes.
Mike: Okay, let’s go.
(Peter criticizes Jan’s painting.)
Peter: You’re never gonna finish like that. Let me show you how. Give me your brush.
Greg: Hey, Pete.
(He turns around and Jan puts the brush in Peter’s hand, getting paint all over it. Bobby and Cindy are playing tic-tac-toe on another wall. Mike comes around.)
Mike (sternly): Didn’t I tell you kids no games? Besides, that’s paint for the window trim.
Bobby: Well, can’t we just finish it?
Mike: You are finished. Go.
(He washes the game off with a rag. Greg is painting near the door and Alice comes in. Greg accidentally paints her mouth.)
Greg (calling): Turpentine.
(Cut to Greg and Marcia’s school. They are walking around outside with Marcia putting her binder in front of her.)
Greg: You can’t go around school all day hiding behind that binder.
Marcia: I wouldn’t have come to school at all today if it hadn’t been for those two dumb tests.
Greg: Can’t you just try to forget about your nose.
Marcia (bitterly): I can’t. I don’t want Doug to see me until Saturday. By then the swelling might go down.
Greg: Oh, I get it. Well, keep it hidden then. See you.
(She continues to walk behind the binder. Then she literally runs into Doug. She goes to the water fountain and drinks heavily, in an attempt to hide her nose.)
Doug: Marcia, hey, I didn’t recognize you behind your notebook. I’ll walk you to your next class.
Marcia: That’s okay, oh, I’m really thirsty. Go on ahead.
Doug: Well, I’ll wait.
Marcia: That’s okay. I wouldn’t want you to be late on account of me.
Doug: I’ve never seen anybody drink that much water. You must be part camel.
(Marcia looks up at him and Doug sees her nose.)
Doug: Marcia, what happened?
Marcia: The silliest little thing. My brothers were playing football and my nose got in the way. It’s just a little bump.
Doug: Yeah, you can hardly even notice it. Uh, look, Marcia, the reason I wanted to walk to your class with you is, I have to tell you something. You see, I’m afraid we have to break our date for Saturday night.
Marcia: Break our date?
Doug: Yeah, well, you see, something suddenly came up.
Marcia: Something suddenly came up?
Doug: Yeah (The school bell rings) Well, I don’t want you to be late for class, okay. See you.
(He walks away.)
Marcia (to herself): Something suddenly came up.
(That evening, Alice is making up the couches in the family room for Carol and Mike to sleep in.)
Alice: Well, it won’t be as comfortable as your own bed, Mrs. Brady, but at least you won’t be inhaling paint all night.
Carol (laughing): Yeah, I can inhale beautiful, fresh, pure smog.
Alice: Some choice.
Carol: I’m so glad Marcia finally went to sleep. She was so upset.
Alice: Yeah, poor kid. She stood looking in the mirror saying “why me, why me”. Come to think of it, that’s what I say when I look in the mirror too.
Alice: Well, that ought to do it. Good night, Mrs. Brady.
Carol: Good night, Alice. Thank you.
(Mike comes in.)
Alice: Good night, Mr. Brady. Happy sofa.
Mike: Thanks, Alice, and my sagwil thanks you too.
Carol: Mike. Do you realize that this will be the first night since we’ve been married that we haven’t slept in the same bed?
Mike: Breaks up the monotony, doesn’t it.
Carol: Now Mike, come on, don’t start that.
Mike: Oh, come on, can’t you take a joke?
Carol: Sure. I married you, didn’t I.
Mike: Oh, wait a second.
(They laugh and then kiss each other good night. Later on, they hear a noise form the kitchen.)
Mike: I wonder who’s in the kitchen.
Carol: I don’t know, there’s one way to find out. (calling) Who’s in the kitchen?
Marcia (coming in): Me, Mom.
Carol: Wanna talk?
Marcia: Could we?
Mike: Sure, come in, sweetheart.
(He turns a light on and she sits down.)
Marcia: I couldn’t really sleep.
Carol: Marcia, honey, your nose isn’t gonna be swollen forever.
Mike: Try to forget about Saturday night.
Carol: Even though it wasn’t very nice of that boy to break your date.
Marcia: I guess I deserve it. I wasn’t very nice myself.
Mike: What do you mean?
Marcia: I broke my date with Charley for the same night just so I could go out with Doug Simpson, the big man on campus.
Carol: You’re right. That wasn’t very nice.
Mike: I think your problem isn’t a swollen nose, it’s a bruised conscience.
Marcia: I guess so.
(The next day, Marcia is moping outside in the backyard. Cindy comes up to her.)
Cindy: I came to cheer you up.
Marcia: Thanks, Cindy.
Cindy: Want to go to the corner for some ice cream. I found some money in the sofa.
Marcia: No, thanks.
Cindy: Marcia, do you mind being cheered up?
Marcia: No, it’s okay.
Cindy: Because when someone tries to cheer you up, and you don’t wanna be cheered up, it’s not very cheery.
Marcia: That’s right.
Cindy: Did I cheer you up?
Marcia: I’m afraid not.
Cindy: I guess I’ll get some ice cream anyway. Maybe it will cheer me up.
(Jan comes to Marcia with a record album.)
Jan: Hey, Marcia, do you want to listen to my new record album with me? It’s really far out.
Marcia: I’m not in the mood for enjoying myself.
Jan: I’ve seen you down before, but this has got to be the downest.
(Charley comes by.)
Charley: Hi, Marcia.
Marcia: Hi, Charley.
Charley: I just stopped by to pick up the paint brushes (He notices her nose) What happened to your nose?
Marcia: I had a little accident.
Charley: That’s too bad. Hey, I was thinking, if you can’t go out with me Saturday, how about Sunday.
Marcia: Not with this nose.
Charley: Marcia, I wanna take out all of you, not just your nose.
Marcia: Charley, I couldn’t go out with you or anybody else looking like this.
(The next morning, the girls are awoken by their alarm clock.)
Cindy (waking up): Why is it that nights are so short and days are so long?
Jan: Because during the day we have to go to school.
(Cindy notices something.)
Cindy (excited): Jan, look!
Jan: What? (She notices) Marcia, your nose!
Marcia: Don’t remind me, I dreamt I was Pinocchio.
Jan: No, the swelling is gone. Your nose is back to normal.
Marcia (feeling her nose): What? (She rushes to the mirror) It is back to normal, it’s me again! now the world can look me in the face and I can look back! I can’t believe it!
(Cut to the school, where Charley is sitting on a bench and Doug is walking by.)
Charley: Hey, Doug, that was a great game you played last week.
Doug: Oh, thanks a lot. Uhh…
Doug: Yeah, right, Charley.
(Marcia and Greg are walking and they see Doug.)
Doug: Hi, Greg. Hi, Marcia.
Doug: Hey, Marcia. Wait up. Your nose is okay.
Marcia: Yeah, it is.
Doug: Um, Marcia, I was looking for you. My aunt, who was coming to town, well she changed her plans, so our date for Saturday night is still on. Okay?
Marcia: Sorry, Doug. I can’t make it.
Doug (surprised): You can’t?
Marcia: Something suddenly came up.
Doug: Oh, I see. Well, if you change your plane, let me know, okay.
Doug: See you.
Greg: See you, Doug. Nice going, Marcia. See you later.
Marcia: Bye. (She walks and then sees Charley on the bench) Charley, is that you?
Charley: Hi, Marcia.
Charley: I was just tying my shoelace. (He notices Marcia’s nose) Hey, your nose is back to its old self.
Marcia: Yeah, it’s okay now.
Charley: But like I said, you look great with any kind of nose.
Marcia: Thanks. Charley, there’sa something I have to tell you.
Marcia: Well, I played a dirty trick on you.
Charley: Dirty trick?
Marcia: I broke the date I had with you Saturday because Doug Simpson asked me out for the same night. That was the something that suddenly came up.
Charley: You’re right. That was a dirty trick.
Marcia: I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry.
Charley: It’s okay.
Marcia: Hey, by the way, I’m still available if you’d like to go out with me on Saturday night.
Charley: I’d like to.
(The bell rings.)
Marcia: Good, I’ll walk you to class. Come on.
(They walk but then Charley trips and falls.)
Charley: I tied my shoelace to the bench.
Marcia (laughing): Charley, are you all right?
Charley: Clumsy, but all right.
(Cut to Saturday night. Mike and Carol are in the living room.)
Mike: It’s getting kind of late.
Carol: Oh, honey, Marcia’s just having a good time.
Mike: I’m not worried. I just said it was getting kind of late.
(Carol looks at her watch.)
Carol: My goodness, it is getting late.
Mike: Don’t worry, she’s just having a good time.
(Marcia comes in the front door.)
Carol: Hi, honey.
Mike: Hi, sweetheart. (She sits down) Did you and Charley have a good time?
Marcia: Oh yeah, the movie was great. Charley’s really super.
Carol: Sounds like you had fun.
Marcia: Mmm hmm. Guess who we ran into later at the pizza place.
Mike: Don’t tell me Doug Simpson.
Carol: Big man on campus?
Carol: Was it uncomfortable?
Marcia: Well, Doug started teasing me about breaking my date with him, so Charley defended me. They got into a fight.
Carol: Fight! I hope nobody was hurt.
Marcia: I’m afraid he was. His nose was swollen up like a balloon.
Carol: Aw, poor Charley.
Marcia: Charley? it was Doug! Charley really belted him. Doug was so embarrasses that he ran home. Isn’t that dumb, just because of a swollen nose? What an ego.
Mike: Well it seems to me I remember someone else who felt exactly the same way when her nose was swollen up like a balloon.
Mike: Who, you.
Carol: Short memory.
(Marcia gets up and goes upstairs.)
Marcia: Good night.
(The scene fades.)
(The final scene has Carol and Mike in their room. They are inspecting the paint job they did.)
Mike: Yeah, it looks great.
Carol: It really does. It looks like it’s been done by professional painters.
Carol: Mike, it just occurred to me.
Carol: Now that we painted the bedroom, it makes the hallway look really shabby.
Mike: Oh, Carol.
Carol: I think we’re gonna have to paint the hallway.
Mike: Just the hallway.
Carol: Well, now that you mentioned it, we probably have to paint the stairs, too.
Mike: Yeah, now that I mentioned it.
Carol: Yeah, and probably the entry hall. And while we’re at it, we might as well paint your den. You’d like to have your den painted, would you Mike? (She notices he’s walked away) Mike, Mike (He startles her, she pinches his chin and kisses him) We can paint, can’t we?
Mike: We just did.
(They kiss again.)