S5 E1 Adios, Johnny Bravo

Adios, Johnny Bravo

Written by Joanna Lee

Greg receives an offer to become a successful rock start named Johnny Bravo. This interferes with his plans to go to college. Hope you enjoy the script.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

MIKE BRADY

CAROL BRADY

ALICE NELSON

GREG BRADY

MARCIA BRADY

PETER BRADY

JAN BRADY

BOBBY BRADY

CINDY BRADY

TAMI CUTLER, agent

BUDDY BERKMAN, Tammy’s partner

HAL BARTON, head of talent show

(The episode begins with the kids auditioning for a talent show at Hal Barton’s studio. Greg is on lead vocals with the rest of the kids backing him.)

Greg (singing): Music played but never stayed to listen. It seemed my life was always out of tune. I found something beautiful was missing. Now there’s music coming out of every room. (The other kids join in) You got to be in love to love a love song. You got to be in love like I love you, and I do. (He goes back to singing solo and croons to Cindy) You’re the love in my song, I just got to sing along with you, with you. Now I found that every sound is music. The trees that whistle softly in the wind. Summer raindrops happen on the sidewalk. (He croons over to Marcia) You made all those pretty melodies begin. (the other kids join him for the chorus) You got to be in love to love a love song. You got to be in love like I love you, and I do. You’re the love in my song, I just got to sing along with you, with you.

(Hal Barton approaches them.)

Barton: Terrific audition kids.

Kids: Thank you.

Barton: You just got yourself a spot on next Saturday’s show. (They cheer and Greg shakes his hand) Now, be here at noon.

Greg: We’ll be here before noon. Thanks a lot.

Barton: Okay.

(He shakes a few other hands and the kids leave happily. Tami Cutler, who was swooning in the audience at Greg, stops them.)

Tami (to Greg): Hi.

Greg: Hi.

Tami: I’m Tami Cutler.

Greg: Greg Brady.

(They shake hands.)

Tami: Did anyone ever tell you that your profile would look great on an album cover.

Greg: No.

Tami: Come on, I’m serious.

Greg: Really?

Tami: Yeah. Hey, do you have an agent?

Greg: No.

Tami: Well, I think it’s about time. (She hands him a card) Do me a favor, call me at 10 o’clock in the morning.

Greg: Sure.

Tami: Bye.

Greg: Bye.

(The other kids look on with specualtion. They come up to him.)

Marcia: Who was that girl, Greg?

Greg: That wasn’t just a girl, that was an agent.

Peter (reading): Tami Cutler Artist Management. Big hit management company.

Jan: What did she say?

Greg: She wants us to call her at 10 o’clock tomorrow.

Marcia (thrilled): We’ve been discovered.

Peter: Wow, I can’t believe it. We got an agent.

(Greg gloats at this fact and the scene fades.)

(The kids come home and share the news with Carol and Alice.)

Cindy (excited): Mom, we got fantastic news!

Carol: What?

Bobby: It happened!

Carol: What happened?

Jan: The fantastic news!

Alice: Well, that clears that up.

Carol: I bet you’re gonna be on Hal Barton’s TV show.

(They agree.)

Marcia: this is even more fantastic than that!

Greg: Wait, that’s not fantastic yet.

Peter: Sure it is!

Carol: What is?

Jan: I got to call Sherry, she’ll faint when she hears.

Carol: Hears what?

Jan: The fantastic news!

(She runs to the phone.)

Alice: This is where I came in.

Cindy (running out): Hey, wait for me.

Bobby: I’m second on the phone.

Peter: You’re second after me.

Carol: Oh, come on, will somebody tell me what’s going on?

Marcia: We’re just the hottest new singing group in town, that’s all.

Greg: Now, don’t get carried away. But, after our audition for Hal Barton, this really attractive girl came up to me.

Marcia: And she turned out to be an agent.

Greg: And she wants us to phone her in the morning.

Marcia: The morning… and I don’t have a thing to wear.

(She runs out of the room.)

Alice: Now there’s a switch, dressing up for a phone call.

Carol: Well, congratulations, Greg, it sounds like you kids had a really exciting day.

Greg: Oh, it has been. Thanks, Mom.

(He leaves.)

Alice: Congratulations, Mrs. Brady.

Carol: Thanks, Alice. You know, I couldn’t be more proud if I were the mother of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

(The next scene has Mike coming in the kitchen, where Carol and Alice are preparing dinner.)

Mike: Hi, honey.

(He looks inside the pot.)

Carol: Hi, honey, dinner will be ready in a minute.

(They kiss.)

Mike: Where’s the mail?

Carol: I left it over there on the counter.

(He collects it.)

Mike: There’s only one letter. This one’s for Greg.

Carol: Oh, golly, with all the excitement on show business I forgot to give it to him.

Mike: I see it’s from State University.

Carol: And what’s wrong with Greg going to my old Alma Mater.

Mike: Nothing, nothing, that’s all.

Carol: You’re always talking about him going to dear old Norton College.

Mike: Well, wherever he goes, the important thing is he gets a good education.

Carol: Right. That’s why I think it would be a great idea if he went to state.

Mike: Why would you want your son to go to a college that lost 35 straight football games.

(He kisses her and leaves the kitchen. The next morning, it’s a little before 10 a.m. and the kids are hanging around the phone in the living room. The clock finally strikes 10 and they pester Greg to make the phone call.)

Greg: Would you guys just relax. Listen, if we call right on the dot, it’s gonna make us look anxious.

Cindy: But we are anxious.

Peter: Get a load of Mr. Cool.

(They continue to pester him and Marcia brings the phone right to him.)

Greg; Okay, okay.

(Greg takes the card and dials the number.)

Greg: Tami Cutler please. Yes, I’ll hold. (They ask him what is going on and he shushes them) Hello, Tami, this is Greg. Greg Brady. We met yesterday at the TV station, remember? The profile for the record album. Yeah.

Bobby: Yeah.

Cindy: Oh, yeah.

Greg (continuing the conversation): Sure, sure we could. Oh, okay. I’ll see you then. Right. Good-bye.

Jan: When’s the appointment?

Greg: Right away.

(The other kids get excited.)

Marcia: You’re kidding.

Greg: Wait a minute. She said I should come alone. (The other kids protest) I guess she figures because I’m the oldest, I must be the leader.

Jan: We have to stick together.

Greg: Well, look, I can go down and I can make the deal for all of us. Okay?

Marcia, Peter and Jan: Okay.

Bobby and Cindy: Okay.

(Mike is in his den and Greg comes in for the car.)

Greg: Dad.

Mike: Mmm hmm.

Greg: Can I borrow the car?

Mike: I guess so. What for?

Greg: The agent I met yesterday wants to discuss a little business with me.

Mike: Okay, keys are in the kitchen.

Greg: Thanks, Dad. I won’t be long.

Mike: Greg.

Greg (stopping): Yeah.

Mike: You know, I know you’re all very flattered and excited about this, but, try to keep your cool, will you?

Greg: Don’t worry, Dad, I got everything under control.

(He leaves the den as Carol comes in with coffee.)

Carol: Whoa, watch it, Greg.

Greg: Well, I’m off to see our agent.

Carol: Oh, good luck. (to Mike) Well, that’s show biz, and coffee. (She gives him his coffee) When you’re hot, you’re hot.

Mike: But when you’re not, you’re not. I don’t want those kids to get their hopes up too high.

Carol: Oh, I don’t think they will, it’s just an adventure for them. Besides, Greg is too level-headed to get carried away.

(Next, we see Greg down at Tami’s office.)

Greg: This is wild. What an office.

Tami: It’s a place to hang my beads.

Greg (laughing): Yeah, it’s great.

(Buddy Berkman comes in.)

Buddy (to someone unseen): Right, 4 o’clock from the dub down.

Tami: Oh, Greg, I’d like you to meet my partner, Buddy Berkman.

Buddy: Well.

Greg: How do you do, Mr. Berkman.

(They shake hands.)

Buddy: Okay, beautiful, beautiful, out of sight, dynamite, dymamito.

Greg: I brought along a tape of our group.

Tami: Oh, that won’t be necessary, babe.

Greg: I thought you’d hear how we sound.

Buddy: Oh, sure, terrific, terrific. (He puts it down and ignores it) Hey, would you like to play the guitar? (He hands him a guitar and Greg plays) Here you go, wail on that.

Tami: Come on.

Buddy: Do it, man, do it. Let’s get it on. I can dig this. Yeah.

(Greg starts to play and Buddy gives him plenty of false praise.)

Buddy: Hey, okay, yeah, that’s righteous. (he gets more enthusiastic) Oh, perfect, prefect. Oh, this guy’s terrific, what a find. (to Tami) I hope he fits the suit.

Tami: He will. I never miss.

Buddy (on Greg’s playing): Hey, hey, I like that. Okay, all right. (Tami goes to the closet to pull out an outfit) Very good, very nice.

(Tami shows Greg the suit and he puts the guitar down.)

Tami: You want to slip into this love?

Greg: Wow.

Tami: Like perfect.

Buddy: Righteous.

Tami: Did I tell u I never miss?

Buddy: Beautiful.

Greg: Yeah, this is really something. All six of us getting an outfit like this?

Tami: Just you, babe.

Greg (shocked): Oh, but my brothers and sisters…

Tami: Hey, as of now, you’re solo.

Buddy: You’re gonna be a monster. You won’t be in the top 20, you’ll be the top 20.

Greg: But you don’t understand. I’m part of a group.

Tami: No, you don’t understand. You’re not you anymore.

Greg: I don’t follow.

Buddy: You are a superstar. You are the new Johnny Bravo.

(They take him to a mirror.)

Tami: Johnny Bravo.

Greg: Johnny Bravo?

Tami and Buddy: Johnny bravo!

Greg (looking himself in the mirror): Johnny Bravo.

Tami: Wow.

Buddy: Dynamite.

(Greg goes home with the other kids eagerly awaiting his arrival. Marcia, Peter and Bobby come up to him as he drives into the garage.)

Marcia: Greg, what took you so long? Jan, Cindy, Greg’s here! What happened?

Peter: When do we start to work?

Bobby: Did you tell them I play the organ?

Greg: No, I didn’t have a chance, Bobby.

(Jan and Cindy come over.)

Jan: Tell us what happened?

Cindy: Yeah, when do we get famous?

Greg: We don’t, Cindy.

Peter: You mean you blew the deal?

Greg: No, no, I don’t mean that, either. Excactly.

Marcia: What do you mean, exactly?

Greg: Well, they just wanted to sign (Pause) me.

Jan: Alone?

Bobby: All by yourself?

Cindy: Without us?

Greg: Solo, as in star.

Marcia: Solo, as in sellout.

Peter: That’s dirty.

Bobby: You’re breaking up the act.

Jan: Greg, how could you?

Greg (to Cindy): Honest, they just wanted to sign me, the new Johnny Bravo. They said I’m gonna be a big star.

Cindy: But a very small person.

(The scene fades.)

(The next scene has Greg at home telling his parents.)

Mike: You’re gonna be called Johnny Bravo?

Greg: You know, they got the platter jockeys freaking out over my album, and I haven’t even recorded it yet.

Mike: Listen, what happens when you record it?

Greg: Oh, I go on the road and plug it.

Carol: Where?

Greg: Like all over, man. The whole country.

Mike: Let me ask you a question. Now, how do you plan to do all this and go to college at the same time?

Greg: Good question.

Mike: Well, I thought so.

Greg: I’ll give it some serious thought, Dad.

Mike: I think you better give it a lot of serious thought.

Greg: Right.

(He gets up and leaves the den.)

Carol (to Mike): Did he call me “man”?

Mike: I think so.

(Cut to the girls’ room, where the girls are sulking over getting dumped. Alice comes in.)

Alice: Hi. (They don’t answer. Alice gets sarcastic) What’s all the excitement about?

Marcia: Of all the phony plastic names, Johnny Bravo.

Jan: Yeah, they should’ve called him Benedict Arnold.

Marcia: You know, I bet our group would sound a lot better witohut him.

Cindy: A lot better. We ought to get a new name. How about the Brady 5.

Alice: How about the sour grapes.

Marcia: What’s that supposed to mean, Alice?

Alice: Well it sounds to me like you’re putting Greg down because something great happened to him an dnot to you.

(She sits down next to Cindy.)

Cindy: But we were a group.

Jan: And Greg deserted us.

Alice: Greg didn’t, the agent did. Now, try to put yourself in this spot. What would you have done?

Marcia: Maybe what he did.

Jan: But he could’ve….

Marcia: No he couldn’t. After all, they didn’t want us.

Jan: But he shouldn’t have….

Marcia: But he didn’t have any choice.

Jan: Well, I wouldn’t have.

Marcia: No, you would too.

Alice: I like this conversation. Goes right to the point.

Marcia (getting up): Come on, you two.

Jan: Where?

Marcia: To tell Peter and Bobby we should stop acting like jealous brats.

Cindy: Can’t I still be jealous without being a brat.

(We take you to Greg’s attic room. Where he is playing his guitar and the girls come up to see him.)

Marcia (calling): Greg.

Greg; Yeah.

(The girls enter the room.)

Marcia: Hi.

Greg: Hi.

Marcia: Greg.

Greg: Mmm Hmm.

Marcia: We just wanted to apologize. We hope you’re gonna make it really big as a star.

Jan: Hey, we’re gonna start a scrapbook with all your clippings.

Cindy: Yeah, with your name on it. And we’re also gonna start the very first Johnny Bravo fan club.

Greg (smiling): Thanks for understanding. How do Pete and Bobby feel about it now?

(Next, Bobby and Peter are in there talking to him.)

Bobby: We’re really sorry for the way we acted too, Greg.

Peter: He’s not Greg anymore. He’s Johnny Bravo.

Bobby: I meant Johnny.

Greg: Thanks guys.

Peter: We think it’s really super, Greg.

Bobby: Johnny. I’m gonna be in charge of product distribution at school.

Greg: For what?

Bobby: Johnny Bravo T-shirts, locks of hair, broken guitar strings. You know.

Peter: And don’t forget autographs. We’ll make up about a million copies and sell them for 25 cents apiece.

Bobby: We’ll just take the usual. 10% of the profits.

Peter: Apiece.

(Later that evening, Mike and Carol are up and having hot chocolate in the kitchen. They are discussing Greg’s indecision about college.)

Mike: In my mind, there was never any question about Greg going to college.

Carol: Mine either. But that was before all this Johnny Bravo business.

Mike: I want him to have the best education and as much education as he is capable of.

Carol: Oh, yes, and Greg has so much potential.

(Alice comes out of her room.)

Alice: Oh, hi folks. I thought I heard something out here.

Carol: Oh, sorry we woke you, Alice. Why don’t you grab a cup and have some hot chocolate with us.

Alice: Thanks, don’t mind if I do.

Mike: If I thought that Greg didn’t have a better future than just a short music career, it wouldn’t bother me so much.

Carol: I feel the same way. Johnny Bravo could become a has been before he ever was. Right, Alice?

Alice: Right, Mrs. Brady.

Carol: On the other hand, Greg could be a big hit. Couldn’t he.

Alice: Wouldn’t that be something.

Mike: No, the chance of Greg rising to the top are a million to one. I want him to go to college.

Carol: Me too.

Alice: Me three.

Mike: Of course, if we force him to go, he’s out to rebel just to prove a point.

Carol: In which case, we’d probably be pushing him right into the music business.

Mike: You know, while we’re siting here stewing, we have forgotten one important fact.

Carol: What?

Mike: Greg hasn’t made up his mind yet.

(Next, Mike and Carol are outside gardening while Greg is inside on the phone.)

Carol: Has Greg said any more to you about college?

Mike: Not a word.

(Greg gets off the phone and goes outside to talk to his parents.)

Greg: Mom, Dad, I’d like to talk to you for a minute.

Mike: Love a marigold and sit down.

Carol: What’s on your mind, Greg?

Greg: Well, you both said I’m an independent guy and should make my own decisions, right?

Mike: We would agree, yeah.

Greg: Well, I made a decision about college.

Carol: And.

Greg: I’m not going. In fact, I have an appointmant to see my agent this afternoon.

(Carol and Mike are disappointed.)

Mike: Don’t expect us to congratulate you on your decision.

Greg: No, I figured you’d be disappointed.

Carol: Greg, honey, listen, fame is a fleeting thing, but, a college education can last you a lifetime.

Greg: I know all that, Mom. But I feel right now I have to give a singing career a chance. And then in a few years, college will fit in. Maybe. Anyway, I made up my mind. Sorry.

(He gets up and goes back inside.)

Carol (to Mike): I agree with what you’re thinking.

Mike: Yep. I think after he gets back, I’m gonna check out that music agent.

(Greg is down at Tami and Buddy’s office.)

Greg: Everything’s squared away at home. I’m ready.

Buddy: Well, too much. (They shake hands) Out of sight. Dynamite, beautiful.

Tami (extending her hand): Welcome aboard, Johnny Bravo.

Greg: Thanks, Tami. well, what’s next.

Tami: You just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

(Next, Tami shows him around the office and introduces him to the personnel.)

Tami: This is your PR man. He’ll handle all your interviews, column plans, photo sessions, radio and TV spots, album liners, billboards, oh, and one other thing.

Greg: What?

Tami (calling): Girls, (a bunch of groupies walk in) here he is, your very own Johnny Bravo. Do your thing, girls. (They scream and run up to him and tear his shirt. A photographer takes a picture and Tami thanks the girls and they all leave) Terrific.

(Next, they introduce Greg to their lawyer.)

Buddy: Now, Johnny, this is your new attorney. He’s got some papers for you to eyeball. You know, it’s all got to be like, legal. You dig?

(Greg shakes hands with the lawyers as she shows him a bunch of papers to sign.)

Greg: All these?

(Next, they came out of the recording studio, where Greg just cut a demo.)

Buddy: What a session, what a groovy session.

Tami: I can’t wait to hear the tape.

Buddy: Out of sight, baby, you’re out of sight.

Greg: Did I really sound all right?

Tami: Hang loose and listen.

(Buddy goes to play the tape.)

Buddy: Hey mama, you seen him, you got him, now here he is, with the beat that’s sweet and the jive that’s alive. Your very own muchacho, Johnny Bravo!

(The tape plays and Greg discovers they electronically altered his voice.)

Greg (surprised): That’s me?

Tami: The new Johnny Bravo sound, it’s gotta be a hit.

Buddy: No other way, (to Greg) what do you think, star?

Greg: What happened to my voice?

Buddy: Just a little electronic slide of hand.

Greg: It’s terrible. You can’t even hear the words.

Buddy: Well, of course not!

Greg (turning it off): That’s not the way I sound.

Buddy: You, now come on, baby, don’t get hung up on an ego trip. I mean, who cares how you sound? We’re after the sound. There’s a lot of work in that record.

Greg: Than what do you need me for?

Tami: Because you fit the suit.

Greg (astonished): I fit the suit? That’s the reason you wanted me? Because I fit the suit?

Buddy: There’s an awful lot of bread in those threads, baby.

Tami: Come on. it’s a heavy promotion.

Greg: Yeah, well, Tami, Buddy, I’m about to lay a new sound on you.

Tami: What’s that, babe?

Greg: the sound of a guy taking a walk.

Buddy: What?

Greg: Listen close. (He rips up the contract) Adios, Johnny Bravo.

Tami: Hey.

Buddy: Johnny, hey, wait a second, Johnny.

(He walks out of the office.)

Buddy (to Tami): well, you know, that suit never did really fit right through the shoulders.

(Cut to back at home,. Greg is telling Mike and Carol about the scam.)

Greg: Can you believe that? The only reason they wanted me was because I fit the suit. (Carol laughs) They didn’t want me, they wanted a robot.

Carol: Well, honey, you saved your father a trip from seeing them.

Mike: You sure did. You know, in one way, we’re sorry it happened. But, in another way, I’d like to go on record saying we are very pleased.

Carol: Mike, are you sure you wanna use the word record?

Mike: Well, do you think this is the end of your singing career?

Greg: No, this is the end of Johnny Bravo. But Greg Brady still has a singing career.

(Next, Greg and the other kids are down at Hal Barton’s studio singing a new song called Good Time Music.)

All: Let me hear some of that good time music, that I love to hear.

Greg: I got plenty of blues.

Marcia: And sort of bad news.

All: And I need to find me some cheer.

Marcia: Well there’s been some times, when I’ve been down, oh so recently.

Greg: I got a piece of bad ride and make a new flight.

All: React positively. There’s no sense in walking around with your feet stuck to the ground.

Marcia: It’s much better to put yourself together.

Greg: Create a lot of love and good vibes for humanity.

All: That’s fine with me. Let me hear some of that good time music, that I love to hear.

Marcia: I got plenty of blues.

Greg: And sort of bed news.

All: And I need to find me some cheer.

Greg: Well there’s been some times, when I’ve been down, oh so recently.

Marcia: I got a piece of bad ride and make a new flight. React positively.

(Hal Barton gives them the okay signal.)

All: There’s no sense in walking around with your feet stuck to the ground.

Greg: It’s much better to put yourself together.

Marcia: Create a lot of love and good vibes for humanity.

All: That’s fine with me. Good time music. Good time music. Good time music.

(The scene fades.)

(The final scene has Greg knocking on the door to Mike and Carol’s bedroom.)

Mike: Come in.

Greg (entering): Dad, Mom, I studied these college pamphlets you gave me.

Carol: And.

Greg: Well, I decided that Norton has a lot going for it. (Mike gloats) But State has a lot to offer, too.

Carol: Uh, you think you might go to state, Greg?

Greg: Uh, no.

Mike (laughing): Norton. (Carol has her turn to laugh) Where are you gonna go?

Greg: I mean, there’s been lots to consider. But after reading these pamphlets, I know exactly what to do.

Mike: What?

Greg: Take a couple of years off to travel, and can I have the keys to the car?

Mike: Get out of here.

(Greg turns around to leave.)

Greg: Good night.

Carol: Good night.

(Mike and Carol laugh to each other.)

THE END