Miss Popularity
Written by Martin Ragaway
Jan gets nominated for Most popular girl and school. She makes too many campaign promises to gain votes. Hope you enjoy the script.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
MIKE BRADY
CAROL BRADY
ALICE NELSON
GREG BRADY
MARCIA BRADY
PETER BRADY
JAN BRADY
BOBBY BRADY
CINDY BRADY
HERMAN, Jan’s classmate
SHIRLEY, another classmate and friend
(The episode begins with Jan coming home from school. She is just bursting with good news, which she shares with Alice.)
Jan: Alice, Alice, the most wonderful thing in the whole entire world happened.
Alice: You were nominated for most popular girl in your class.
Jan: I was nominated for…, how did you know?
Alice: Peter beat you home by a glass of milk and a slice of baloney.
Jan: Well, isn’t it terrific?
Alice: Terrific. I think your classmates have got real class.
Jan: Thanks.
(She heads to the staircase where she sees Bobby.)
Jan: Hi, Bobby.
Bobby: Hi, Jan.
(He rides down the banister of the stairs.)
Jan: Bobby, you’ll never guess what happened in school today.
Bobby: I know. You got nominated for most popular girl. That’s great.
Jan (to herself): Well, at least Marcia will be surprised.
(Jan is upstairs in her bedroom sharing the news with her sisters.)
Marcia: I already heard.
Cindy: Me too.
Marcia: Congratulations.
(She kisses Jan on the cheek.)
Jan: Honestly, surprising people in this family is harder than smuggling sunrise past a rooster.
Cindy: We think it’s super.
Jan: Yeah, and I’ll have a hard time winning with a girl like Kathy Williams in the contest
Marcia: What’s so special about her?
Jan: She’s got the three B’s. She’s beautiful, brainy and built.
Marcia: Oh, Jan, that’s not everything.
Cindy: At my age it’s nothing.
Marcia (laughing): You’re just gonna have to get out there and campaign hard.
Jan: Yeah, well, I’m not worried.
Marcia: Good.
Jan: I passed worried an hour ago. Now I’m terrified.
(The scene fades.)
(The next scene has Carol sitting at the desk in the bedroom, writing something. Mike comes in and kisses her on the head from behind.)
Carol: Sir, may I please remind you that I am a happily married woman and a mother?
Mike: Yeah, this is how you get that way. (She gets up and they kiss) Listen, I bring you some good news.
Carol: First, let me tell you my good news. Did you know Jan was nominated for most popular girl in the class.
(Mike says the last five words along with Carol.)
Mike: Yes, six kids and a housekeeper laid that on me before I had two feet in the door.
Carol: Well, what’s your good news?
Mike: You know that long weekend we’ve been planning for over a year?
Carol: Yeah.
Mike: We are going on the 8th. Everything’s arranged at the office.
Carol (hugging him): Oh, honey, that’s terrific. Oh, it will be like a second honeymoon. That’s one rerun I’m really gonna enjoy.
Mike: Yep.
(Meanwhile, the girls are downstairs in the family room.)
Cindy: We’ll need a lot of vote for Jan Brady posters.
Marcia: That’s right, and lots of handbills, too.
Jan: And I’m gonna need all the help I can get, because the election’s next week. And if there’s ever anything I can do for you, anything at all, just ask.
Cindy (half-jokingly): You can take my turn at the dentist.
Jan: I’d even promise that.
Marcia: Hey Jan, you know what you need is a good manager to co-ordinate all your activities at school.
Jan: Yeah, but who? It’s gotta be somebody who goes to my school. And someone who (she realizes) Hey, what’s the matter with me? Peter!
Cindy: If he’ll do it.
Jan: Of course he’ll do it, he’s my brother. And blood is thicker than water.
(Next, Jan is upstairs in the boys’ room.)
Peter (sternly): No way.
Jan: But Peter, you’re my brother. And blood is thicker than water.
Peter: So what? So is glue.
Jan: Why won’t you do it?
Peter: Personal reasons.
Bobby: Yeah, and her name is Kathy Williams.
Jan (upset): What about Kathy Williams?
Peter: Well, if you must know, she asked me to mange her campaign.
Jan: And you’d actually help her instead of me?
Peter: I didn’t say I would yet. But you’re only my sister, she’s a girl.
Jan: But Peter, I don’t have a chance without a good campaign manager. Please, I’ll promise anything in return for my help. Name your price.
Peter: I can’t be bought.
Jan; Oh, Peter, I…
Bobby: I can, and a lot cheaper, too.
Jan: Bobby, the person who’s gonna be my campaign manager has to go to my school, but I can still use your help. (She goes to Peter again) Peter.
Peter: On second thought, Jan, if you really mean to promise anything in return for my help.
Jan: Anything, Peter. Just name it.
Peter: Well, I could use a small loan just for…
Jan: You got it.
Peter: You don’t even know for what.
Jan: Who cares.
Peter: You don’t even know for how much.
Jan: Who cares?
Peter: When do i have to pay you back?
Jan: Who cares.
Peter: You got yourself a campaign manager. My heart belongs to Kathy, but my blood belongs to you.
Jan: Thanks, Peter. I really appreciate it.
Bobby: I can be his assistant for a smaller loan.
Jan: It’s a deal.
(She shakes his hand, then Peter’s hand, She leaves the room and Peter and Bobby shake hands.)
(Greg comes home through the kitchen.)
Greg: Alice, did I get a phone call from a guy named Richie. It’s kind of important.
Alice: No, but it might be quicker if he sent you a telegram.
Greg: What?
(She points to Jan, who is on the phone in the living room.)
Alice: And her three minutes were up about two hours ago.
(Greg goes over to Jan, who is making promises and discusses what to do on her campaign. She promises to be a friend for life and hangs up.)
Greg: And if you want another friend for life, let me make a call, huh.
Jan: Sure. (She looks at her phone book) Just as soon as I make one more call.
(She goes to make another call.)
Greg: Jan, you want votes, huh.
Jan: Do I ever.
Greg: Well, what would you say if I said I had friends in school who have brothers and sisters that go to your school who might be talked into voting for you.
Jan (hanging up): I’d say, make your call. (She gives him the phone) And if there’s anything else I can do for you, just name it.
Greg: I will.
(She leaves and he gets on the phone. Mike is in his den and Carol comes in with a box.)
Carol: Ah, you beat me home, huh.
Mike: Yes.
Carol: I was out shopping for our weekend at the beach.
Mike: Well.
(She shows him a part of a new bikini she bought.)
Carol: What do you think, honey? Does it do anything for me?
Mike: Not nearly as much as what it’s gonna do for me. Be a little chilly on the beach at night.
Carol: At night?
Mike: We don’t have a room.
Carol (disappointed): Oh, no, Mike. We couldn’t get a reservation.
Mike: Honey, everything’s booked solid for the weekend of the 8th. I even called a friend of a friend.
Carol: And.
Mike: They’re not friends anymore.
Carol: Well, there goes our weekend and our second honeymoon.
Mike: Wait, not necessarily. Listen, I was thinking, since everyone’s flocking to the beach, why don’t we flock to the mountains. They’re having good skiing.
Carol: Mike, we haven’t skiied in ages.
Mike: Well, who skis on honeymoons.
Carol: Hey, maybe you’re right. We can limp around, nobody will know the difference.
Mike: Right. I’ll make reservations first thing.
Carol: Okay. So long, bikini, I got to trade you in for some long underwear.
(Cut to the kitchen. Jan sees Alice in there.)
Jan: Hi, Alice.
Alice: Hi, honey.
(She goes inside the refrigerator for some milk.)
Jan: What you doing?
Alice: Helping you get elected. You can’t very well pass out cigars at school but, you could pass out these.
Jan: What’s that?
Alice: Homemade fortune cookies. There’s a little message inside each one.
(Jan takes one. She opens it up and reads the message.)
Jan: Be a smart cookie, vote for Jan Brady. Oh, that’s a super idea, Alice. Thank you.
(She hugs Alice. Upstairs, Marcia and Cindy are making posters and slogans.)
Marcia: Cindy, look.
(She shows her a poster she worked on. It says in big letters, Vote for Jan Brady.)
Cindy: Vote for Jan Brady.
Marcia: I’ve got an idea. I’ll put this poster on the back of the car and I’ll drive Jan around the neighborhood. And then she can pass out those cookies that Alice made.
Cindy: Yeah, and I got an idea, too. I’m making an ad for Jan to put in her school newspaper. (Marcia looks impressed) Hey, what’s that word that you write when you don’t want anybody to know your name?
Marcia: You mean anonymous?
Cindy: Yeah, that’s it. (She writes anonymous on her paper). There, how does this sound? Vote for Jan Brady, most popular girl. She’s pretty, smart, nice and kind. I ought to know, because I’m her sister. Signed, anonymous.
Marcia (laughing): Oh, Cindy.
(We take you to the garage. Peter and Cindy are using a machine to distribute more posters for Jan.)
Bobby: I wish we borrowed a better machine.
Peter: Stop complaining, keep cranking.
(Greg comes out to empty garbage.)
Greg: Hey, if that’s money you’re printing up, I’ll take a package of $100s.
Peter: These handbills are for Jan’s campaign.
Greg: Yeah, let me see. (He takes one and reads it) They’re great except for one thing.
Bobby: What’s that?
Greg: They’re so messy you can’t read them.
Peter: Oh, well these first ones are just samples. They’ll get better.
Greg: Well, if they don’t, you’ve got a good smear campaign going.
(He laughs but the guys look at him with an insulted look.)
(Next, Peter and Jan are at their school. Peter is passing out the handbills to students.)
Peter: Vote for Jan Brady. Be sure to vote for Jan Brady. Jan Brady is the most popular girl. Vote for Jan Brady. Be sure to vote for Jan Brady. Jan Brady is the most popular girl. Be sure to vote for Jan Brady. Don’t forget. Vote for Jan Brady. Be sure to vote for Jan Brady. Jan Brady is the most popular girl.
(Meanwhile, Jan is speaking to several other students. A student named Herman comes over to her.)
Jan: And if you vote for me, I will never, ever forget it. If any of you ever need a favor, all you have to do is ask.
Herman: You really mean that, Jan?
Jan: Of course I do, Herman.
Herman: Well, I got a favor to ask.
Jan: Your wish is my command.
Herman: I’m flunking algebra and I need help.
Jan: You got it. My brother Greg is a whiz at Algebra. He’ll give you all the help you need.
Herman: Gee, thanks. That be super.
Jan: No problem. Just remember, Jan Brady is the most popular girl.
Herman: You got my vote.
(At that time, Shirley, another friend of Jan’s comes to her.)
Shirley: Hey, Jan.
Jan: Oh, hi, Shirley.
Shirley: Do you remember what you said about babysitting for my brother?
Jan: Sure do. It’s the least I can do for a friend who’s voting for me.
Shirley: I’ll take you up on that. I’ll let you know when, okay.
Jan: Okay. Any time, Shirley.
Shirley: Okay, bye.
Jan: Bye.
Peter: Hey, Jan.
Jan: Yeah.
Peter: How goes the campaign?
Jan: Okay, I hope. Gee, it sure takes a lot of promises to get elected, doesn’t it.
Peter: Who have you got things promised to?
Jan: Everybody. Do you think I have a chance to win, Peter?
Peter: Well, I’ll tell you a good way to find out.
Jan: How?
Peter (jokingly): Count the votes after the election this afternoon. (He hands her a handbill) Here, vote for Jan Brady.
(She playfully hits him with her bag as he walks away. Back at home, Carol and Alice are in the kitchen making a salad.)
Alice: Oh, your weekend in the mountains sounds heavenly. It would do you and Mr. Brady a world of good to get away on your own for a little while.
Carol: Oh yeah, but it sure will seem strange without the kids, Alice. You know, raising a family gets to be a habit.
Alice: Yeah, it’s a habit I’d like to talk Sam into.
(Carol laughs and Peter comes home.)
Peter: Da-da-da–da-da-da, presenting her royal majesty, the most popular girl in her class, Jan Brady!
(Jan runs in.)
Jan: Mother, I won, I actually won!
Carol: Oh, Jan, that’s great!
(She hugs her.)
Jan: Oh, my hard work finally paid off.
Peter: And everyone else who helped.
Jan: Oh, yeah. Oh, isn’t it fantastic.
Alice: This calls for a celebration. I’m going to prepare a special dish tonight. Something different, something really far out.
Carol: What’s that, Alice?
Alice: A recipe with meat in it.
Jan: I’ll go tell the others what happened. (She sees Greg on the phone in the living room. He finishes his call) Greg, Greg, I won. I was voted most popular girl.
Greg: I know.
Jan: How did you know?
Greg: That call was from a kid in your class named Herman.
Jan: Herman, what did he want?
Greg: He’s got this stupid idea that I’m gonna help him with his algebra.
Jan: Oh, that. Well, I did sort of promise him that you would.
Greg (angry): Well, you had no right to promise him I’d do anything.
Jan: Well, I needed his vote.
Greg: I don’t happen to have time to help Herman. I have my own studies to worry about.
Jan: Don’t worry. He’ll find someone else to help him.
Greg: But you made him a promise.
Jan: Only a campaign promise. The election is over and I won. That’s the important thing.
(She goes upstairs leaving Greg to fume. The scene fades away.)
(The next day, Jan is at school and her friend Shirley approaches her.)
Shirley: Jan.
Jan: Oh, hi, Shirley.
Shirley: I’m glad I found you. I really need that favor.
Jan: What favor?
Shirley: You said you’d babysit for my little brother. What about tonight?
Jan: Not tonight. I’ll do it some other time.
Shirley: But you promised, and this is really important to me.
Jan: I’m sorry. I’m busy tonight.
(She walks away and leaves Shirley unhappy. Herman comes and stops her.)
Herman (upset): Just a minute. Thanks a lot, Miss Popularity.
Jan: What for?
Herman: For nothing, that’s what.
Jan: What’s wrong with you?
Herman: You said your brother Greg was gonna help me with algebra, didn’t you.
Jan: Oh, well don’t blame me, blame Greg.
Herman: But you’re the one who promised.
Jan: Well, it wasn’t my fault. I was sure he’d help.
Herman: I wish I could buy my vote back, and so do a lot of the kids.
Jan: They’re just jealous. (She sees Peter) Going home, Pete.
Peter: In a couple of minutes. Boy, the kids sure don’t like the way you’re acting.
Jan: I simply don’t have time to do everything for everybody.
Peter: Well, they’re all pretty down on you.
Jan: Are you kidding? Jan Brady is the most popular girl in her class.
(She leaves and we take you back to the house. Peter and Bobby are in their room. They are upset because Jan broke her promise to let them borrow money.)
Peter: No way, we don’t have enough money.
Bobby (bitterly): With a sister like Jan, you don’t need enemies.
(Mike passes by.)
Mike: Hi, men.
(Peter gets up and runs to him.)
Peter: Hey, Dad, Dad, Dad, can we see you for a second?
Mike: What’s up?
Peter: Any chance of getting an advance on our future allowances?
Mike: How far in the future is that future?
Bobby: Not too far. We’ll live long enough to repay it.
Peter: You see I put down an $8 dollar deposit on a radio, and Bobby put down a $3 deposit on a skateboard. And now we got a problem.
Mike: What’s the problem?
Peter: I haven’t got the $8 and Bobby hasn’t got the $3.
Mike: How could you put down money that you didn’t have?
Bobby: We thought we had it.
Peter: But Jan welched out on her promise to loan it to us.
Mike: Well, I’m sure Jan has a reason for breaking her promise.
Bobby: She sure does. She’s a phony. She just used us to get elected.
Peter: We got 5 other kids, could we put her up for adoption?
Mike (laughing): I don’t think so. Look, don’t be too hard on her. I’ll see what I can do about the advance.
(He leaves.)
Peter: Thanks, Dad.
(He goes into his bedroom.)
Mike: Hi, honey. I’m home.
Carol (calling from the bathroom): Be right there, sweetheart. Did you get the ski lodge reservation?
Mike: Yeah, no problem. They’re gonna call right back and confirm it.
(She comes out wearing a ski outfit.)
Carol: I was able to exchange the beach things. It came out even. (She shows him) You like?
Mike: Hey, yeah, I do like. Of course, it leaves a little more to the imagination than the bikini. But, with an imagination like mine, I come out ahead.
(He kisses her.)
Carol: Your imagination may be good, but your aim leaves a lot to be desired.
Mike: Oh, yeah. Prepare for a direct hit.
(He goes to kiss her again but the phone rings.)
Carol: Oh, your target will be back in just a minute. (She answers the phone) Hello. Oh, yes he is. Hold on a minute, please. (to Mike) It’s the ski lodge.
Mike: Hey, good. (He gets on the phone) Hello. Yes it is.
Carol: Ask them for an outside room.
Mike: Yes, I see. Oh, are you sure? I see. No, thank you very much.
(He hangs up.)
Carol (abruptly): You didn’t ask for an outside room.
Mike: I didn’t have to. We got one. Way outside, outside the lodge.
Carol: What happened?
Mike: They’re overbooked for the weekend of the 8th. He called to apologize for the mistake.
Carol (upset): Oh, no! There goes our first long weekend.
Mike: Well, now, honey. There’s gotta be a way to get in. Don’t give up the ship.
Carol: Okay, John Paul. Where are we going?
(Mike ponders for a second.)
Mike: Got an idea. We didn’t go to the beach, we didn’t go to the mountains. Let’s go somewhere in between.
(Next, Jan is downstairs typing and Marcia comes in.)
Marcia: Jan.
Jan: Oh, not now. I got to finish my most popular girl acceptance speech. I give it on senior night.
Marcia: All I want to know is, who is your date for the dance afterwards?
Jan: Well, the most popular boy naturally, Billy Garst.
Marcia: You didn’t say he asked you.
Jan: Oh, he hasn’t yet, but he will. Who else would he take but the most popular girl.
Marcia: I guess. Listen, after you’re through, you said you’d finish up my washing and ironing tonight. I need it for school tomorrow.
Jan: Oh, Marcia, I got a million things to do tonight.
Marcia: But Jan, you promised.
Jan: I’m really busy. I made all sorts of plans.
Marcia: I made plans too because you made that promise.
Jan: Not tonight. Some other time.
(Marcia angrily leaves and Bobby and Cindy comes in.)
Bobby: What’s the matter with her?
Jan: Oh, she’s just upset because I won’t let her use me.
(Bobby and Cindy pull up a couple of chairs and turn on the television. Jan gets distracted and gets up to turn it off.)
Jan: Do you mind?
Bobby: Are you looking for a broken arm? We want to watch TV.
Jan: Not now. I have a very important speech to write.
Cindy: Yeah, not to mention the book report you were supposed to help me write.
Jan: Cindy, I already told you, there’s just not enough time for everything.
Bobby (to Cindy): Instead of voting her the most popular, they should’ve voted her the most obnoxious.
Jan: I’m never gonna get any work done in here.
(She gets up, takes her books and typewriter, and leaves. Cindy waves good-bye to her.)
(Carol comes into Mike’s den wearing a ranch outfit when he’s not looking.)
Carol: Turn around real slow, partner, and don’t make a move for your gun.
(Mike turns around.)
Mike: Oh, ho, ho. Wow, you can ride my range anytime. Be the dude of the dude ranch.
Carol: What are you going to wear?
Mike: Well, my old cowboy boots.
Carol: Well, you better wear something else or you’re gonna get arrested.
Mike: Not to mention sunburn.
Carol: Oh, I hope nothing happens to our reservations.
Mike: No way, we are confirmed for the 8th.
Carol: You’re a genuis.
(They kiss. Jan comes in.)
Jan: Mom, Dad, do you have a minute.
Carol: Sure, honey.
Jan: I’m just about finished my acceptance speech. Do you want to hear it?
Carol: Yeah.
Mike: Mmm hmm, okay. Fire away.
Jan: Faculty, parents, honored guests, fellow students, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls…
Carol: Jan, I think that covers just about everybody.
Jan: I’m very honored to have been elected most popular girl. It’s really a great honor because that other students believe I have more charm and personality than any other girl in the class.
Mike (sarcastically): You’re sure you want to be so humble?
Jan: Why do I have to be so humble? I won, didn’t I? So I must have deserved to.
Carol: You deserve to be grateful. Jan. That speech sounds like nothing more than an ego trip.
Jan: Well, I’m proud of myself. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?
Mike: Jan, I’m afraid you missed the point. I’ll tell you, I wouldn’t want to get up in front of my classmates and deliver a speech like that. But you are big enough to make up your own mind.
Carol: Jan.
Jan: I guess there’s no point in reading you the rest of it. You will be there at the reward presentation, won’t you.
Carol: Yes, Jan, we’ll be there. But we’re not crazy about that speech. I sure wish you’d think about it a little more.
(She starts to leave.)
Jan; Oh, by the way, they changed it to Friday.
Mike: The 8th?
Jan: Yes.
Carol: Tell me she didn’t say Friday the 8th.
Mike: She didn’t say Friday the 8th.
Carol: Thank you.
Mike: But she did. (Carol hands him the phone) Hello, dude ranch.
(Jan is upstairs going to try on some clothes to wear for her presentation.)
Jan: Marcia.
Marcia (bitterly); What?
Jan: Do you think this dress is okay for my senior night?
(Peter comes in the room.)
Marcia: Well, it all depends on what creeps are wearing this season.
Jan (defensive): I’m not a creep!
Peter: I agree with Jan, she’s not a creep.
Jan: Thank you.
Peter (angry); You’re a super creep.
Jan: What’s bugging you?
Peter: Do you know who Kathy Williams was going to the senior night dance with?
Jan: I thought you said with you.
Peter: Well, that’s what I thought, too. But she just called and said she wasn’t gonna be seen with the brother of a jerky sister, who’s the most unpopular girl in school.
Jan: Well, if she said that, she doesn’t deserve to have a date.
Peter: Oh, she does have a date, she’s going with Billy Garst, the most popular boy in school.
Jan (shocked): Billy Garst?
Peter: Yeah, who alos wouldn’t want to be seen with you?
(He leaves.)
Marcia: I thought you were going with Billy Garst.
Jan: So did I. The most popular guy always takes the most popular girl. It’s a tradition.
Marcia: Congratulations, Jan. You’ve just given the word popular a new meaning.
(Jan is talking to her parents.)
Jan: I thought winning would be the greatest, but everyone seems to have changed.
Mike: Maybe it’s you who changed.
Jan: I’m still the same.
Carol: Are you sure, Jan? Your brothers and sisters seem to think you let your success go to your head.
Mike: They also think they’ve been had. You promised them everything in the world for getting elected, and you gave nothing in return.
Jan: My intentions are good.
Mike: Intentions are not good enough.
Jan: Suddenly I feel as popular as the measles.
Carol: Well, the question is, Jan, what are you gonna do about it?
Jan: Well, I know what I’m not gonna do. I’m not gonna go to senior night and face all that hostility.
(She gets up and leaves.)
Carol (shocked): I don’t believe this.
Mike: Now let me get this straight. We’re not going to the beach, we’re not going to the mountains, we’re not going to the dude ranch, because we cancelled the reservations. We are going to Jan’s senior night, where Jan won’t be?
Carol: Yep, that just about covers everything.
(The next scene has the family eating dinner in cold silence. Alice comes out.)
Alice: Well, how about dessert? I got high cal, low cal or no cal. Anybody for any cal?
(The kids all turn it down. Some of them start to leave the table.)
Jan: Would you all wait a minute? I’ve got something I’d like to say, please? It’s important. (They all sit back down) Mom, Dad, I’ve decided to go to senior night and give my speech after all.
Carol: Oh, Jan, honey, you know how we all feel about that speech.
Jan: Oh, well, it’s not that speech. It’s a different one that I just wrote, and I’d like you all to hear it because it concerns you. (She gets up to read it) Dear friends, thank you for giving me this honor. But even more important than winning was a lesson I learned. It has to do with being grateful and giving, and receiving. I am very grateful I received, and now I’m going to start giving. In the campaign, making promises just to get elected is wrong. And if it takes me the rest of my life, I’m gonna keep very promise I made to everybody. Well, there’s more, but that’s the general idea.
(The rest of the family applauds and Jan leaves the table. Peter comes up to her.)
Peter: Jan, can you do me a favor?
Peter: Yes, I’ll loan you the money.
Peter: No, not that. After you make that speech, how about being my date at the dance. That is, if you don’t mind showing up with your own dumb brother.
Jan: Oh, Peter, I’d be honored.
(They hug and then Mike clinks his glass to make a speech.)
Mike: Now hear this. I have a speech of my own to give. (He motions and whistle for Jan and Peter to return to the table) First of all, (to Jan) I am very proud of you. (He kisses Jan) Second of all, in spite of all the delays, your mother and I are going on a weekend vacation no matter what. (she questions where) Well, I don’t know where, but I promise you it’ll be someplace. And a Brady never goes back on his promise. Right, Jan.
Jan: Right, Dad.
(He and Carol kiss.)
Mike: Now, where’s the dessert?
Alice: Yes, would you like high cal, low cal or no cal?
All: Any cal.
Alice: All cal, all right.
(The scene fades out.)
(The final scene has Mike and Carol in their bedroom. Alice knocks.)
Alice: Mr. and Mrs. Brady, are you awake?
Mike: Barely, Alice. Come in.
(She brings in a tray with breakfast and coffee.)
Alice: Good morning.
Carol: Alice, what in the world is that?
Alice: Breakfast in bed is what that is.
Mike: What’s the occasion?
Alice: Well, because you had to stay in town last night to hear Jan’s speech and because you didn’t get to go on your long weekend and take your second honeymoon.
Carol: Alice, this is very sweet of you.
Mike: That’s very thoughtful.
Alice: Of course it won’t be quite the same as going away for your second honeymoon but, maybe this will help. (She shows them a do not disturb sign) I’ll hang it on the door.
Carol; Alice, what will the children think?
Alice: Who do you think made up the sign?
(She hangs it on the inside door and leaves. Then comes back in.)
Alice: Sorry about that.
(She takes it and puts it on the outside door.)
THE END
Brady Bunch Scriptman 