S1 E18 Tiger! Tiger!

untitled tiger 2

Tiger! Tiger!

Written by Elroy Schwartz

Tiger, the family dog, has disappeared. The family gets worried he may have been dognapped or something worse. Will they find him eventually? Let’s find out. I Hope you enjoy the script.

CAST OF CHARACTERS
MIKE BRADY
CAROL BRADY
ALICE NELSON
GREG BRADY
MARCIA BRADY
PETER BRADY
JAN BRADY
BOBBY BRADY
CINDY BRADY

MRS. SIMPSON, a new neighbor

(The story begins outside in the backyard. Bobby is playing a game of fetch with Tiger)

Bobby (carrying a stick): Tiger, come on. Come on, Tiger. Come on. Tiger. Tiger, come on. Come on, boy. Come on, Tiger.

(Bobby runs around the yard with a stick for Tiger to chase before he fetches. He calls to Tiger a few more times till he catches the stick and Bobby pets him. Alice comes out)

Alice: Bobby, it’s time to feed Tiger.

Bobby: Okay. Now you stay here, tiger. I’ll be right back.

(Bobby throws the stick and Tiger chases it. Then he goes inside)

Alice: After we gat Tiger fed, we’ll feed us.

(Bobby takes Tiger’s dish and some dry food. He pours the food in the dish and finds the box is almost empty.)

Bobby: Alice, we need some more dog food.

Alice: Already? That dog eats more like a horse. One of these days instead of barking, he’s going to whinny.

(Bobby goes outside to feed Tiger)

Bobby: Tiger, chow time, Tiger. Tiger. (He looks for him in the doghouse) Come on out of there, Tiger. Tiger? Tiger? Tiger! (He puts the dish down and runs) Tiger! Tiger!

(The scene fades out. The next scene has Mike talking to Bobby in the living room and leaving for a golf game)

Mike: There’s nothing to worry about, Bobby. Greg, Peter and Marcia are checking the neighborhood and I’m sure they’re going to find Tiger.

Bobby: I hope so. He never did anything like this before, Dad. Just (Pause) disappeared. for all night.

Carol (coming out): He’s gone all right, I looked everyplace for him. Well, mike, you better get going. You’re gonna be late for your golf game.

Mike: Ooh, yeah. You seen my car keys?

Carol: Yeah, I think they’re in the kitchen. I’ll take a look.

Mike: Okay.

(He’s getting ready to leave)

Bobby: Dad?

Mike: Yeah.

Bobby: Would you play golf if I were missing?

Mike: No, Bobby. Of course not.

Bobby: Then how can you play with Tiger missing?

Mike (taking a breath): Look, I’m sure they’re gonna find that dog in the next five minutes.

Bobby: You don’t know that for real sure.

Mike: Well, no.

Bobby: Tiger’s a member of the family, isn’t he?

Mike: Well, yeah, Tiger’s a member of the family.

Bobby: And you’ve even had him longer than you had me.

Mike: Yeah, that’s true.

Bobby: Then how can you play golf?

(The next scene has Mike and Bobby coming back from hunting for Tiger. Mike unbuckles his seat belt and gets out of the car. A depressed Bobby still sits in the car. Mike leans over to him from outside.)

Bobby: He wasn’t anywhere, anywhere at all.

Mike: Well, at least it was a try, Bob.

Bobby: Yeah, and you said if you didn’t find him, you’d put a lost and found ad in the paper.

Mike: Yeah, that’s right, and with this pad and paper and the patio table, we’re ready to get to work. Come on.

(Bobby gets out and he and Mike go over to the patio table.)

Mike: what do we say in the ad?

Bobby: Well, just say the truth. Say the best dog in the world was lost today, and we want him back.

Mike: Well, that tells a lot about him, Bob. but maybe we ought to say what he looks like too, huh.

Bobby: Okay?

Mike: Let’s see, uh. Lost: large, shaggy, tan dog with white muscle. Family pet, wearing collar with name tag. Tiger Brady.

Bobby: You forgot the part about best dog in the world.

Mike: Yeah, well, let’s see here. Uh, how’s this? Family pet, best dog in the world, wearing collar and so forth.

Bobby: Okay. How much of a reward are you going to offer?

Mike: Well, what do you think we should?

Bobby: A million dollars.

Mike: That’s a lot of money for Tiger and it’s a little steep for me too.

Bobby: But Tiger’s worth it.

Mike: Well, I was thinking of offering, well, $25.00 for Tiger.

Bobby: Well, okay.

Mike: Let’s go call the paper.

(Greg and Peter come outside)

Greg: Dad?

Mike: Yeah.

Greg: We peddled around till we were exhausted.

Peter: Now we’re gonna go out and look again.

Bobby: Dad’s gonna offer a $25.00 reward.

Peter: $25.00, wow!

Greg: I saved up $4.00 I’d like to add.

Mike: $25 is enough, Greg.

Greg: Really, Dad, I want to.

Mike: All right, that’ll make it $29.00.

Peter: There’s this nifty model airplane I’ve been saving for, but I’d rather give the money for Tiger. $2.14.

Mike: All right, Peter.

Bobby: I’ve got $1.12.

Mike: And $1.12, that makes, uh. let’s see, six. $32.26, and that’s a lot of money, even for Tiger.

Bobby: Yeah, but it’s still not a million.

(Mike hits Bobby on the head playfully with the pad.)

Greg; See you later, Dad.

(Inside, Alice is in the kitchen scrambling eggs with the girls watching)

Alice: Now you have to watch egg whites pretty close, because if they get too stiff, you can’t unstiff them. Now that should just about do it.

(Bobby and Mike come inside)

Bobby: Hey, Dad started a reward for Tiger with $25.00, and Greg and Peter and me put some more in, and now it’s over $32.00.

Alice: You can put me down for $5.00, Mr. Brady. I’ll take it out of my dowry money.

Mike: Oh, Alice, you don’t have to do that.

Alice: I want to. Besides, the chances of getting Tiger back are a lot better than me using that dowry.

Mike: All right, that makes the total $37.00…

Bobby: And 26 cents.

Mike: Yeah, right. Come on, let’s put the ad in before it’s too late.

(Mike gets on the phone while Marcia gathers Jan and Cindy to talk in private)

Marcia: Jan, Cindy. (they move closer to the living room)

Marcia: Now I can put in three dollars, how about you?

Jan: All I have is two dollars.

Marcia: Cindy?

Cindy: I don’t have any money.

Marcia: None at all?

Cindy (shaking her head no): Can you lend me some?

Marcia: I can let you have 50 cents.

Cindy: I can give more if you lend me more.

Marcia: That’s all I’ve got.

Cindy: How about you, Jan?

Jan: After that two dollars, I’m broke.

Cindy: Then 50 cents is all I can give.

Jan: We better tell Dad before he hangs up.

(They go over to Mike)

Mike (on the phone): Would you read the ad back to me, please? (The girls try to get his attention) Yeah, yeah, that’s right. Would you hold on for just a moment? (to the girls) What?

Marcia: Jan, Cindy and I would like to add $5.50 to the reward money.

Cindy: The 50 cents is mine, I lended it from Marcia.

Mike (getting back on the phone): Would you change the amount of the reward, please, from $37.26 to $42.76. (He laughs) I know that’s an unusual amount, but, yeah, that’s it. Thank you very much.

(Mike hangs up)

Bobby (to the girls): You know something, you guys are really nice, considering you guys are girls.

(They all pat him on the shoulder)

(That evening, Carol and Mike are in the family room. Carol is looking outside the window.)

Carol (sighing): Strange how lonely it is around here tonight.

Mike: Lonely? With me here, Alice in the kitchen and  six kids wherever six kids might be. Yeah, well. (Pause) You’re right. Strange how lonely it is around here tonight.

Carol: How many times have I looked around this room and saw the muddy paw prints and the dog hairs and wished that Tiger belonged to somebody else. (Pause) You know something, Mike?

Mike: What?

Carol: I miss him.

(She sits down on his lap and he holds her)

Mike: Aw, yeah, that walking lump of hair has an intangible something. He’ll be back.

Alice (coming form the kitchen): I hope so. I’m sorry to interrupt but there was something I wanted to mention and I didn’t have a chance until now.

Mike: Go ahead, Alice, mention.

(Greg and Peter come down the stairs to raid the refrigerator)

Peter (to Greg): I wonder how come we always get hungry at night.

Greg: I don’t know. I guess dinner gives us an appetite. Let’s ask Alice what’s left over.

Peter: Yeah, I think I hear her in there with Mom and Dad.

Alice (from the family room): I didn’t want to say anything in front of the kids because I was afraid it would upset them, but I hear there’s been a rash of robberies in the neighborhood recently.

Carol: I heard that too, the Stewarts were robbed last week.

Alice: That’s right. Well it occurred to me that the thieves might have lured Tiger away. (Mike gives a disagreeable look) So they could take a whack at this house some night when we’re all asleep.

Mike: Alice, you’ve been watching too many detective shows lately.

Carol: Well, it is a possibility Mike. I mean, after all, there have been a lot of robberies, and Tiger is missing.

Alice: That’s why I thought I should mention it.

(Cut back to the kitchen with Greg and Peter)

Peter: Well, what if Dad’s wrong, and Mom and Alice are right?

Greg: Let’s get upstairs and figure out our next move. There’s gonna be a robbery tonight and we better be ready.

(The scene fades out)

(The next scene has Bobby sleeping outside in the backyard. Mike comes out to get him. He turns the flashlight on to him, waking him up.)

Bobby: Who is it? who’s here?

Mike: It’s me, Bobby. Dad.

Bobby: Oh, hi Dad.

Mike: Listen, your mother and I went in to kiss you good night and you weren’t there. And we had to worm out of Greg where you were. What are you doing out here?

Bobby: I wanted to be here if Tiger comes home. It’s all right, isn’t it.

Mike: No, Bob, it isn’t all right. It’s cold out here. There have been robberies in the neighborhood, and we can’t let you sleep out here alone.

Bobby: Well, there’s more sleeping bags in the garage. You can sleep with me if you want.

Mike: Thanks, I think we better both sleep in the house.

Bobby: I’m not afraid of burglars, Dad. Besides, they only steal things from inside the house, not outside houses.

Mike: Your mother and I wouldn’t sleep all night long. Now, come on, let’s get out of this thing.

Bobby: What if Tiger comes home and I don’t know it?

Mike: Then we’ll have a big celebration in the morning. Hurry up, get your slippers on.

Bobby (getting up): I won’t sleep a wink inside the house. Not a wink.

(Bobby is later in his room fast asleep while Mike looks in on him. Greg and Peter wake up just as Mike leaves the room and go downstairs)

(Next, Greg puts a bunch of cans over one of the doors and ties them to a string, which he puts around the doorknob.)

Peter: Are you sure this will work?

Greg: Sure, anyone tries to get in, these strings will pull these cans down right on top of them. The racket will scare them to death.

Peter: What about the kitchen?

Greg: We’ll do that last. Robbers never start in the kitchen.

Peter: Why not?

Greg: Who wants to steal lettuce and tomatoes? You bring the rest of those empty cans. (Peter takes them and they make a small noise) Shh!

(They go into the living room. Alice is awake in her room putting cream on her face. The boys go to the front door and do the same with the cans and the string, but the rattling noise startles Alice. Carol also gets awakened by the noise and Alice leaves her room to inspect. Carol turns her light on)

Carol: Mike, Mike, Mike, are you asleep?

Mike; No, I’m awake. I’m wide awake.

Carol: Mike, I heard something.

Mike: Tiger?

Carol: No, it, it, it was a noise.

Mike: One of the kids?

Carol: No, it sounded more like a… noise.

Mike: If you hear it again, let me know what it is.

Carol: No, no, Mike, listen, I’ve been thinking about what Alice said about all those robberies, and, are the doors locked?

Mike: Mmm, hmm, I checked them before we came upstairs. I locked them before we came upstairs, too.

(Mike gets out of bed)

Carol: Where are you going?

Mike: Downstairs to check the doors.

Carol: But you said you locked them.

Mike: I know, but if I don’t check them, you won’t be able to fall asleep. and I won’t be able to fall asleep, because you’ll keep on talking, right?

Carol: Right?

(Mike heads on downstairs while Alice goes to inspect the doors. Greg and Peter hear her up.)

Greg: I think I saw someone moving in the kitchen.

Peter: Well, maybe it was Tiger.

Greg: Walking on his hind legs? It must be a robber.

Peter: What’ll we do?

Greg: Let’s get my baseball bat out of the closet.

(Mike sees them from the top of the stairs and runs down)

Mike (whispering): Boys! What are you doing/

Greg (whispering): Someone’s in there.

(Mike takes the bat from Greg as they approach the kitchen. Alice goes into the family room and opens the door. She gets hit by the cans and screams. Carol runs down the stairs frightened. Alice runs out of the family room and almost runs into Mike, Carol, Greg and Peter, screaming again.)

Carol (running from down the stairs): what’s going on/

(She turns the lights on while Mike is about to raise the bat and strike Alice.)

Alice: It’s me, Alice. Alice, your housekeeper.

(The next morning, Alice is in the kitchen when Mike comes in.)

Mike: Good morning, Alice. Listen, I’m sorry about last night. The boys tried to booby trap the house against robbers. They thought that would keep them out.

Alice: Or knock them out.

Mike: Well, they promised not to do it again.

Alice: Okay, Mr. Brady, but just to be on the safe side, when I go to my room, I’ll stay in my room.

Jan (coming in the kitchen): Hi.

Mike: Hi.

Jan: Did anyone call about Tiger?

Mike: No, not yet, sweetie.

Alice: But it’s early.

Jan: Well, someone should have seen our ad by now.

Mike: Most people don’t look at the lost pet ads right away.

Jan: Well, I would if I fond a dog. The first thing I would do to be to…

(The doorbell rings and a dog barks outside of it)

Bobby (yelling): It’s Tiger! It’s Tiger!

(Bobby runs down the stairs and Jan joins him to the door. It turns to be a different dog.)

(The phone rings and Jan answers)

Jan: Hello. (Pause) Yes, we’re running an ad about a lost dog. (Her excited look turns into a frown) No, our dog has a tail.

(A lady comes to the door with another dog. Mike sadly shakes his head no, that it’s not Tiger)

(The phone rings and Carol answers)

Carol: Hello. Yes, we lost a dog. Yes. he’s shaggy. Yes, he’s tan. Yes, he does have a white muscle. What? No, our dog is a boy.

(That evening, Bobby is in his room glumly looking at a picture of Tiger. Carol comes in.)

Carol: Bobby, didn’t you want any supper tonight?

Bobby: I wasn’t hungry.

Carol: Sweetheart, I know how you feel, but not eating isn’t going to bring Tiger back.

Bobby: There wasn’t any room in my stomach, it’s got a great big lump in it.

(The next day, Greg gets a call from his friend Steve)

Greg (answering the phone): Hello. Oh, hi Steve. (excited) You what? Saw Tiger? Where?  Hold on. (He puts the phone down for a moment) hey everyone, Steve saw Tiger, Steve saw Tiger! (He gets back on the phone while Jan and Peter come) You sure it was Tiger, Steve? What did he do after you called him? Uh-huh. uh-huh. And then what? Where did he go? Thanks, thanks a lot, Steve.

(He hangs the phone up as Carol and Mike come)

Carol: What happened?

Mike: Where did he go? What did he say?

Greg: That was Steve Miller. He saw Tiger over by Plummer and Verdun.

Peter: Oh, boy! Steve knows Tiger!

Greg: Sure, he’s seen him lots of times. And the he called him and Tiger stopped, and then when Steve went near him, he ran away.

Carol: Aww.

Mike: No, No, No,. that’s okay. Listen, I’ll take the kids on their bicycles with me in the station wagon, and we’ll scout the area and see if we can find him, okay?

Carol: Good idea. Come on, come on.

(They all scatter to go out and hunt for Tiger, while carol and Alice stay behind with a map. Mike is on a payphone to Carol and Alice)

Mike: Bobby and I dropped off Marcia and the boys about 10 minutes ago, and we’ve been driving around, and no sign of Tiger.

Carol: Yeah, well, Greg said he just saw Tiger over on Talmadge Place. He yelled and Tiger stopped, and he looked around, but then he just took off again.

Mike: Okay, okay, we’ll keep in touch.

(He hangs up. Next, Carol got a call from Peter)

Alice: What did Peter say?

Carol: He just saw Mike and Bobby on Mason Road, but no sign of Tiger.

Alice: I think we’d be better off if Tiger was out looking for them.

Marcia (calling from a payphone): I saw him. he was heading toward Maple Avenue.

Carol: Hold on. (to Alice) He’s heading toward Maple Avenue.

Alice: Hey, Maple Park’s two blocks form there. Where there’s a park, there’s trees, and where there are trees, you’ll find dogs.

Carol: Listen Marcia, get right over to Maple Park. Yeah, it’s two blocks to your…

Alice: Left.

Carol: Left.

(Next, Alice is on the phone with Greg)

Alice: Hold on. (to Carol) Uh, he’s heading south on the 400 block on Hillside.

Carol: Oh, Peter will be able to cut him off on Seventh Street.

Alice: Hey Greg, head over to Seventh and Hillside and help Peter. (She looks at the map) Now, Marcia’s got Compton Avenue covered.

Carol: Yeah, and Mike and Bobby have got Kingsley and Bell.

Alice: Suppose the FBI has any old cases they’d like to throw our way.

(Mike is on another payphone to Carol)

Mike: Peter found him? Where? Good, we’re on our way.

(Next, Tiger and Peter are at the home of a lady named Mrs. Simpson)

Peter: Oh, Tiger. I missed you.

Mrs. Simpson: I’m sure he missed you too.

(Mike and Bobby pull up. Bobby unbuckles his seat belt and runs right up to Tiger)

Bobby: Tiger, come on, yeah, I missed you so much. Where were you, Tiger?

Mrs. Simpson: Oh, is he glad to see you, look at that dog. (Mike goes up to her) Hello there.

Mike: Mrs. Simpson?

Mrs. Simpson: Yes.

Mike (shaking her hand): I’m Mike brady.

Mrs. Simpson: How do you do?

Mike: We live way away from here, I can’t imagine why Tiger would go so far from home.

Mrs. Simpson: I think you’ll understand in a minute. Follow me.

(She leads Mike and Peter to her dog while Bobby is still playing with Tiger. Mrs. Simpson shows Mike and Peter her dog and some puppies)

Mrs. Simpson: Now, that’s a pretty good reason, don’t you think, Mr. Brady?

Peter: Aren’t they neat?

Mrs. Simpson: Look at the brown one.

Mike (to Mrs. Simpson): You mean Tiger is…

Mrs. Simpson: I don’t know if this makes us related or not.

(Mike whacks himself on the head)

Mike (calling): Bobby!

Peter: Dad, does this make you a grandfather?

Mike: I guess it does.

Mrs. Simpson: Every time I tried a get a look at Tiger’s name tag, he’d run away. He’s been here before.

Mike: Obviously.

Bobby (coming over with Tiger): What is it, Dad?

Mike (pointing to the puppies): Look here.

Bobby (excited): You mean the puppies are Tiger’s?

Mike: Yep.

Bobby (shaking tiger’s paw): Congratulations, Tiger.

(The scene fades out)

(The final scene has Bobby outside playing with Tiger again)

Bobby: Come on, Tiger, Tiger. Attaboy, Tiger, Tiger. Come on.

Alice (coming outside): Bobby, it’s time to feed Tiger.

Bobby: Okay. Now, Tiger, you stay here, and this time, I mean it. YOU STAY HERE. I’ll be right back.

(Bobby goes inside while Tiger sits on top of his doghouse)

Alice: Sure is nice to have the old Bobby Brady back.

Bobby: Sure is nice to have old Tiger back, too. And it’s a good thing you bought more dog food like I asked.

(Bobby overfills Tiger’s dog dish severely)

Alice: Hey, hey, don’t give it all to him in one meal, Tiger will burst.

Bobby: It isn’t all for Tiger, Alice. He’s a father dog now. He’s got a wife and kids to feed over at Mrs. Simpson’s.

(Bobby takes the box of dog food and Tiger’s dish outside with him)

                                                    THE END

 

untitled tiger

 

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