Greg Gets Grounded
Written by Elroy Schwartz
Greg gets grounded for almost causing a car accident. I hope you enjoy the script.
CAST OF CHARACTERS
RACHEL, Greg’s date
MRS. JENNY THOMPSON, a friend of Carol’s
(The episode begins with Greg and Bobby getting out of the car. Bobby has a box with him.)
Bobby: Thanks for taking me to get Spunker (his new frog).
Greg: That’s okay, Bobby.
(The frog croaks.)
Bobby: He costs $2.00, but he’s worth it.
Greg: That’s a pretty expensive frog.
Bobby: Yeah, he’s a guaranteed jumper.
Greg: For 2 bucks, you ought to get a pole vaulter.
Bobby: What’s 2 bucks if he wins the contest, first prize is $25.00.
Greg: You’ll be loaded.
Bobby: Yeah, Greg, you’re gonna drive me and Spunker to the frog jumping contest next Saturday, aren’t you?
Greg: Sure, I wouldn’t miss it. But if you win that $25.00, you and Spunker pay for the gas.
(He opens the door and lets Bobby in first. Next, Bobby comes into the den to show his parents the frog, with Greg following.)
Bobby (excited): Mom, Dad. look. Look what I got for the frog jumping contest.
Bobby: He cost $2.00 and I named him Spunker.
Mike: Say, he looks like a champ to me.
Carol: Yeah, and very handsome, for a frog.
Bobby: I wouldn’t have been able to get him if it wasn’t for Greg. He drove me down to the pet store.
Greg: That’s okay, Bob.
Bobby: And boy, is Greg ever a great driver. We just missed getting to an accident.
(Mike and Carol get shocked.)
Carol: What happened?
Greg: Uh, nothing really.
Bobby: What do you mean nothing? Greg was great. You see, there was this great big truck in front of us, and Greg slammed on the breaks, and we skidded right in between the big truck and the freeway fence.
Mike: Did he cut you off, Greg?
Greg: No, sir.
Carol: Were you driving too fast?
Mike (disbelieving): Well, you must have been if you couldn’t stop in time.
Bobby: Honest, Dad, he wasn’t driving too fast. He just bought a new record album. He was looking at the back cover.
Carol (upset): While you were driving?
Greg: Bobby, I only glanced at it!
Mike (angry): On the freeway?
Greg (protesting): Dad, nothing happened. I didn’t even scratch the car.
(Bobby starts to leave.)
Carol: Greg, weren’t we talking to you just last week about paying attention while you drive?
Mike: I think you better spend a little time thinking about your driving habits while you don’t use the car for a week!
Greg (upset): A week? Dad, that’s not fair!
Mike: Well, it’s a lot fairer than not using it for two weeks.
Greg (protesting): But, Dad, it wasn’t a…
Mike: You want to try for three.
(Greg storms out of the den and the scene fades.)
(The next scene has Bobby trying to get his frog to jump.)
Bobby: Come on, Spunker, just jump, jump, just a little, a little jump.
Peter: Hi. Where did you get the frog? Burke’s pond?
Bobby: No, I bought him at the pet store.
Peter: The pet store? There’s hundreds of them at Burke’s pond.
Bobby: But this one’s a special frog.
(Greg comes by on his bike.)
Peter (to Greg): Hi.
Greg: Hi. (to Bobby) Hi. Thanks for opening your big mouth. (sarcastically) Now I get to ride my bike instead of drive the car.
Peter: What happened?
Greg: I’m grounded for a whole week because of him.
Bobby: I was just telling Mom and Dad what a great driver you are.
Greg: How old are you?
Greg: It’s amazing.
Bobby: What is?
Greg: How somebody can get so stupid in such a short time.
(He walks away.)
Bobby: He won’t think I’m so stupid when Spunker wins.
Peter: Wins what?
Bobby: The pet store’s having a frog jumping contest.
Peter: You mean like the one we saw in the paper, at Caravels County?
Bobby: Yeah, the first prize is $25.00.
Peter: $25.00, wow! Can anybody enter the contest?
Bobby: No, it’s just for frogs.
Peter: Very funny.
(He gets up.)
Bobby: Where are you going?
Peter: Down to Burke’s pond, I’m getting in that contest.
Bobby: You’ll just get a plain old frog down there, not a thoroughbred like Spunker, right Spunker?
(Spunker croaks. Greg is inside talking on the telephone.)
Greg: Scott, no, I struck out. I had to ride my bike all the way down to the music store and they’re sold out. Every store is sold out. The only way to get tickets to the rock concert now is to drive all the way down to the stadium. Me, no, I can’t. I can’t use the car. Can’t you get them? Well, I promised Rachel I’d take her to the concert and I got to get tickets. Well, hey, maybe Howie Marshall could use his car. Okay, I’ll find out. Good-bye.
(He makes another call. Meanwhile, Peter is outside with his frog. Jan and Cindy come outside.)
Jan: is that Bobby’s frog?
Peter: No, he’s mine. I got him at Burke’s pond.
Cindy: What’s his name?
Peter: So far I’m just calling him frog.
Cindy: That’s a dumb name.
Peter: Well, it’s better than calling him dog.
Cindy: Why don’t you call him Croaker.
Peter: Croaker, yeah, Old Croaker, good idea. How do you like your new name, Old Croaker. (the frog croaks) He likes it. I gotta get some leaves for his house. Here, hold him.
Cindy: Not me.
Jan: Me either, he’s all slimy.
(They back away and leave.)
Peter: Girls! (He puts the frog down and his hat over him) That’ll hold you for a minute.
(He goes to collect the leaves and it starts to hop. Alice comes out and is surprised to see Peter’s hat moving.)
Alice: Hey, Peter.
Alice: Did you see that?
Peter: See what?
(The frog stays in the same position.)
Alice: Never mind.
(She continues to walk and notices the frog moving more. She goes over to investigate while Peter laughs. She gets frightened when she lifts the hat and sees the frog. Peter laughs.)
(Greg is outside Mike’s den waiting for him.)
Mike: Hello, Greg.
Greg: Hi, Dad Did you finish your plans?
Mike: Yeah, I did, finally.
Greg: Good, can I see them?
Mike: The plans?
Greg: Sure, if you don’t mind. (Mike hands them to him and he checks them over) Terrific, probably the best plans you’ve ever done, huh.
Mike: Thank you.
Greg; By the way, Dad.
Greg: Please, just this one exception. There’s no way I can get tickets without driving the car.
Mike: Greg, when I said you were grounded, I meant it.
Greg: But the tickets will all be gone in a couple of hours. Dad, I’ll drive straight there and I’ll come straight right back home.
Mike (sternly): You can not drive the car for one week. Period.
(He goes upstairs Greg gets on the phone.)
Greg: George, hi, Greg Brady. Hey, I haven’t talked to you in a long time. Listen, uh, pal, you’re my last chance to get tickets to the rock concert Saturday night. If you’re not doing anything, how about coming over and picking me up and we’ll go down to get them (Pause) Oh, I didn’t know you were sick. No, I can’t use our car for about a week.
(Next, Bobby is trying to get his frog to eat a fly.)
Bobby: Come on, Spunker, get up, jump, go for it.
(Carol and Marcia come out.)
Carol: Honey, I’ll pick you up at the library as soon as I finish my marketing, okay.
Marcia: Take your time, Mom, I got plenty of reading to do.
(They notice Bobby and the frog.)
Bobby: Come on, jump for it, boy.
Carol: Bobby, what are you doing?
Bobby: I’m trying to make Spunker jump for this fly.
Marcia: That’s silly.
Bobby: Oh yeah. (He flings it her way and he backs away) See, it made you jump.
(Carol picks it up.)
Carol: Oh, it’s not a real fly, Marcia. it’s just a piece of knotted thread.
Bobby: Spunker’s smarter than you are, you jumped and he didn’t.
(Cut to the supermarket, where Carol sees Jenny Thompson, George’s mother.)
Jenny: Hi, Carol.
Carol: Oh, hi, Jenny
Jenny: You look like you’re gonna feed an army.
Carol: Well, with six kids I’ve got an army.
Jenny: Well, if you need a lift home, I’ll be happy to drop you off.
Carol: No thanks. I got my car.
Jenny: That’s funny.
Carol: What’s funny?
Jenny: I thought yours was still at the mechanics.
Carol (surprised): The mechanics? What on earth made you think that ?
Jenny: Well, when Greg came over to borrow George’s car, I just assumed something was wrong with yours.
Carol: Greg borrowed George’s car?
Jenny: To go out to the stadium to pick up tickets to some rock concert.
(Back at home, Carol is telling Mike what was said.)
Carol: Jenny said he borrowed George’s car. Now if he didn’t, why would she say it.
Mike: Honey, I can’t believe that Greg would deliberately disobey us.
(Greg comes into the den.)
Greg: Dad, Jan said you wanted to see me.
Mike: Yeah, I do. Greg, did you get tickets to the rock concert?
Mike: Did you drive George’s car to the stadium?
Carol: I met Mrs. Thompson at the market. She mentioned it.
Greg: Yeah, I drove George’s car.
Mike: After you were told not to drive.
Greg; You didn’t tell me not to drive.
Mike: Yes, I did.
Greg: You said not to use our car.
Carol: Greg, we told you not to drive.
Greg: Our car. You didn’t say I couldn’t drive any car.
Mike: But you knew what we meant. You were grounded, right.
Greg: You said not to use our car for a week and I haven’t used it.
Carol: Oh, Greg, that’s walking a pretty fine line. Are you trying to say you didn’t understand what we meant? No driving?
Greg: I just know what you told me, and that was not to drive our car.
Mike: Okay, Greg, okay, let’s make no mistake about this. Except for school, you are not to leave this house for the next 10 days.
Greg (angry): 10 days! I’ll miss the rock concert, you can’t mean that!
Mike: Yes, I can, and I do. (Greg is about to protest) And I don’t want to hear another word about it.
(Greg walks out of the den, totally frustrated. The scene fades.)
(The next scene has Greg in bed, with Peter and Bobby sound asleep. Mike is in his room exercising, with Carol watching. He is finishing doing 50 knee bends.)
Carol: Keep it up, honey, 50 of those a day will keep you plenty healthy.
Mike (finishing): Staying healthy is gonna kill me.
(They hear a knock on the door.)
Greg: It’s Greg.
Carol: Come in.
Greg: Mom, Dad, you always you’d listen to me if I had something to say.
Mike: That’s right.
Greg: I have something to say. I think it’s unfair for you to ground me when I didn’t disobey you.
Carol: Oh, Greg, haven’t we been through all that?
Greg: You said you’d listen to what I had to say.
Carol: Right. Go ahead.
Greg: If you had said not to drive for a week, it would’ve meant any car.
Mike: You knew that’s what we meant.
Greg: That’s not what you said. You said not to drive our car.
Mike: Are you telling us it would’ve made any difference?
Greg: It would’ve made it perfectly clear, yes.
Carol: In other words, the misunderstanding was our fault.
Greg: No, it wasn’t your fault. It’s just that I wish you would’ve used more exact words.
Carol: Is that what you’d like form now on, exact words?
Greg: Sure, then there’s no communication gap.
Mike: Are you prepared to live by the same rules?
Mike: All right. Your mother and I believe that you knew precisely what we meant. But if you want to live by exact words, okay.
Greg: Then I’m not grounded for the next 10 days?
Mike: No, well, you still got four days to go for that freeway incident.
Greg: Okay, then I won’t miss the concert. (He turns around to leave) Good night.
Carol: Good night. (He leaves the room) I’m not sure we should’ve let him get away with that.
Mike: I don’t think we’re letting him get away with it, because exact words are pretty hard to live by.
(The next scene has the other kids in the backyard for a pre-contest with the frogs.)
Peter: Okay, Old Croaker, this is just a warm-up for the big event. Show him you’re the best frog.
Cindy: Come on, Old Croaker, you can do it.
Bobby: Remember, Spunker, you’re a thoroughbred, you can take him easy.
Peter: Are you ready, Bobby?
Bobby: Yeah, I’m ready.
(They set the frogs down on a tarp.)
Peter: The first one to jump off the tarp’s the winner.
Bobby: Okay, on your mark, get set, go.
(Peter and Cindy are cheering for Old Croaker while Bobby has Marcia and Jan routing for Spunker. Old Croaker easily wins, as Spunker doesn’t move.)
Cindy: At a boy, Old Croaker.
Peter: Come on, let’s give him a treat.
(bobby goes to pick up Spunker.)
Bobby: Spunker, Spunker, what’s the matter? You okay, Spunker? Spunker? he looks sick.
Jan: Maybe he ate a bad fly or something.
Bobby: What if he doesn’t feel like jumping tomorrow? Here, one of you hold him.
(He tries handing it to Marcia but she screams.)
Bobby: Spunker? (to Jan) You hold him.
Jan: Where are you going?
Bobby: Down to Burke’s pond. I’m gonna get a plain old frog, a mutt.
Marcia: I think we just became frog-sitters
(She laughs and Jan puts it in her face. Marcia screams again.)
(That evening, Greg comes into Mike’s den.)
Greg: Hi, Dad.
Mike: Oh, hi, Greg. I didn’t hear you come in. How long have you been home?
Greg: About fifteen minutes. I said I’d be home and ready for bed by 11. My exact words.
Mike: Your exact words.
Greg: Right. Well, good night.
Mike: Good night. Oh, Greg.
Greg (stopping): Yes.
Mike: Did you get around to washing your Mom’s car today?
Greg: Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot. I’ll do it tomorrow.
Mike: You said you’d do it today.
Greg: Yeah, I did, but…
Mike: Were those your exact words?
Greg: My exact words.
(We next see Greg outside washing the car. He accidentally squirts the hose on himself before hosing down the car. He goes upstairs and knocks on his parents’ door.)
Carol: Come in.
Greg: Mom, where’s Dad?
Carol: Taking his shower.
Greg; I had one too. Tell him I finished washing the car. I lived up to my exact words.
Carol: I certainly will.
Greg: Good night.
Carol: Oh, just a minute, Marcia told me you were changing chores with her this week.
Greg: Yeah, I was late to ball practice the other day. She took out the trash. I said I’d do her next chore.
Carol: Good, hers was tonight.
Carol: Tonight. (She looks at her watch) And tonight has exactly 15 minutes left.
(Greg is downstairs washing dishes and again squirts himself. Cut to outside where Peter is with his frog and Bobby has a bunch of frogs he got from Burke’s pond.)
Bobby: I can’t remember which one’s Herman. Now, you’re Flash. No, you’re Flash.
Peter: I thought you were gonna get one frog, not drain the pond dry.
Bobby: I gotta find Herman, he’s my best jumper. They all look alike.
Peter; Not to another frog, they don’t.
Bobby: Very funny.
Peter: Hey look, why don’t you put them all on a line and the one who jumps the farthest has got to be Herman.
Bobby: Hey yeah, that’s a great idea. You’re a lot smarter than you look. (A frog tries to get away) Hey, come back here. Come on, help me, come on, Peter. Put them all down (One of the frogs jumps far) That must be Herman.
(Next, Greg is on the phone with Rachel.)
Greg: Yeah, it’s gonna be a great concert, Rachel. Yeah, I’ll pick you up at seven. Right, good-bye.
(He hangs up and Bobby and Peter come out.)
Bobby: Greg, can we leave at 7 tonight?
Greg: Can we leave at 7?
Peter: Yeah, that’ll give us plenty of time. The contest starts at 8.
Greg: The contest?
Bobby: Yeah, the big frog jumping contest. You said you’d take us.
Greg: Sorry, you guys, no way.
Peter: What do you mean, no way?
Greg: No way. I got a date tonight with Rachel for the contest.
Bobby: But you promised.
Greg: But that was before the concert came up. You guys better make some other plans.
(Next, Mike and Carol are chastising Greg.)
Mike: Did you say you’d take them, Greg?
Greg; Well, yes. But that was before I knew about the concert.
Carol: Did you put any conditions on your promise, like, unless something else comes up?
Bobby: No, he didn’t.
(Greg looks at him annoyed.)
Greg: No, I didn’t. But that’s what I meant.
Mike: We’re not talking about what you meant. We’re talking about your exact words. Remember?
Greg: Couldn’t you take Peter and Bobby tonight?
Carol: We have a dinner date.
Mike: We might be able to change it but we’re not going to.
(Peter and Bobby smirk at Greg.)
Greg: Why not?
Carol: Because you wanted to live by exact words.
Greg (annoyed): Well, that’s great. What am I gonna tell Rachel?
Peter: Tell her there’s a big frog jumping contest.
(Greg gives him a menacing look. Later, he is on the phone with Rachel.)
Greg: Rachel, I hate to tell you this, but I can’t take you to the concert tonight.
Rachel: Oh no, why not?
Greg: Well, it’s kind of a long story, but I have to take my brothers to a frog jumping contest.
Rachel (surprised): A frog jumping contest?
Greg: There’s no way out, honest. I can’t blame you for being angry.
Rachel: Things can come up, and I understand that.
Greg: You mean you’re not sore at me? After all, I did promise to take you to the contest.
Rachel: I know, and I’m sorry about that. Maybe we can go to a movie after that frog jumping contest.
Greg: Rachel, you are the grooviest, greatest most understanding person in the whole world.
Rachel: Does that mean yes or no to a movie?
Greg (laughing): I’ll pick you up at 9:30. Good-bye.
(We next see Greg bringing Peter and Bobby home from the contest.)
Greg: Listen, you guys, I still have to pick up Rachel and get to that movie.
Bobby: Thanks for taking us, Greg.
Peter: Even though mine came in 35th.
Bobby: Mine came in 49th. My frog sure bombed out.
Peter: Yeah. (He suddenly realizes) The frogs! We left them in the car. (They chase and try to scream for Greg, but they’re too late) Bet you nobody else ever went to a drive-in movie with a bunch of frogs.
(Later on, Greg and Rachel are at the movies. Greg comes back from the concession stand with a pizza, popcorn and some drinks.)
Greg: Sorry I took so long, there’s really a line at the snack bar.
Rachel: The pizza smells fantastic.
Greg: Yeah. (He hands her the pizza and popcorn, then he gets in the car. Meanwhile, the box the frogs are in starts to open) I still feel bad about the concert. Maybe some other time.
Rachel: Sure, but I was really looking forward to being with you. More than anything else.
Greg: Same with me. Last time we came to a drive-in I had to bring my kid brother. Remember?
Rachel: How can I forget?
Greg: What a pest. (One of the frogs gets out and another one is getting ready to) This time we’re alone, all alone.
(He moves closer and starts to put his arm around her. Suddenly, a frog jumps on Rachel’s head. It croaks and Rachel gets upset.)
Greg: Oh, no, my brother’s frogs. Oh, Rachel, I’m sorry. Here. (He removes it but another frog jumps in the popcorn.) let’s get him out of here, he’s crawling down behind the skin, can you get it? (Another frog jumps right on top of the pizza) Oh, that does it. I don’t think we’ll be eating this tonight. (He removes the frog) and he was in 34th place, too.
(They laugh. Next, Carol laughs in her room about it after Greg tells the parents about his night.)
Carol: You may have invented a whole new dish. Pepperoni frog pizza.
Greg: The eating would’ve been a complete wipeout if Rachel hadn’t been such a good sport.
Mike: Yeah, none of it would’ve happened except for your exact words.
Greg: Say, suppose we can forget about that.
Mike: That’s a deal.
(They shake hands.)
Greg: Good night, Dad.
Carol: Good night, honey.
Mike: Good night. (Greg leaves) Let’s get some sleep, honey, I got to get up early. (They turn the lights out and Carol pretends to fall asleep) Hey, don’t I get a good night kiss?
Carol: You didn’t say anything about a good night kiss. No, you just said you needed to get some sleep, those were your exact words.
Mike: Oh, yeah, but that’s not what I meant.
Carol: Oh, well, go ahead.
(She puckers up.)
Mike: On the other hand, those were my exact words.
(He lays down to go to sleep.)
Carol: Oh, Mike, come on, come on, give me a kiss.
Mike: I’ll give you a kiss.
(He rises and they kiss. the scene fades.)
NOTE: This was the only episode besides The Honeymoon that didn’t include a tag.